Incident Report, 6-6-2011: Noraebang, A Wasp, and Water

My friend MJ is moving. She went out of the country for the summer, and when she comes back, she’s moving across the country. I was fine with it at first because I didn’t really accept it. Then, the weekend before she left, we went to lunch with my family, and MJ mentioned I was taking her to the airport and we would say goodbye there. And that’s when it hit me. And I was really, really sad.

To help offset the sadness of MJ leaving, JLR and I packed in a lot of activities with her the few days before she left. One of our activities was to go back to the noraebang one more time, since we enjoy it so much. JLR and I surprised MJ with a song in Korean that we had worked really hard to learn ahead of time (okay, JLR worked hard to learn it), and MJ seemed quite touched. We found plenty of songs we all liked, we were getting great scores, which none of us thought we really deserved, and everything was going so well, it seemed as though the universe wanted to make sure we had a good time at the noraebang before MJ left.

There was just one thing wrong with the evening: the videos. Have y’all been to a noraebang in the States? And if so, may I ask what the videos are like?

If case you haven’t been to a noraebang, allow me to provide a brief description. Essentially, it’s a karaoke place. But instead of having to sing in front of strangers, you and your friends get your own room (“noraebang” translates to “song room”). You can order food and drinks, and it’s a lot of fun. Except…jim-i-neeee, the videos. While the song is playing and the words roll across the screen, they play videos, but the videos are not for the song you’re singing. And my word, are they ever depressing. In the course of a 2 or 3 hour stay at the noraebang, only one or two of the videos are not depressing. And by “depressing,” I mean they depict loss and betrayal, and many, many of them are about loved ones dying in tragic ways. I hate to admit it, but by the end of this last trip to the noraebang, it was hard not to feel really down. And not just because MJ was leaving.

Also, there was a wasp in the car with me for part of the drive home from work today. A WASP! IN THE CAR! A WASP IN THE CAR! WASP IN THE CAR! ON *MY* SIDE OF THE CAR! I hope the all caps adequately portray how upset I was.

And I spilled water on myself at work today while trying to drink from a spill-proof cup. Sadly, I couldn’t figure out how to open the spill-proof top, so I removed the top and promptly spilled on myself.

Other than that, everything is okay.

On dealing with big companies

I don't like The Phone Company. I appreciate that they provide my phone service, but apparently they don't provide any other kind of service, and in particular they don't provide good customer service. My phone line isn't working, so two weeks ago, I filled out a report on the company's website. Online seemed better for reporting a problem because I knew if I called, I would sit on hold for a long time, and the problem might still go unresolved (see link below concerning previous experience). The website popped up a message saying that the line would be reset by 7 PM the following Saturday. I knew this was not true, as the problem had to be fixed at the network interface thing inside my house, and no one from the phone company had proposed a visit. Previous experience with this same issue let me know this is not something to be fixed remotely. Sure enough, Saturday came and went, and the phone line still is not working. Sure wish I could remember to call The Phone Company. Maybe reporting it over the phone would encourage them to come out and fix it after all. Maybe. But previous experience also tells me that The Phone Company doesn't respond well to phone calls, either.

Also, I'm sending some student loan-related paper work to A Large Bank. My online login security image looks, to me, like a side of bacon. I'm not sure what they're trying to say about me. Anyway, they asked me to send a copy of my most recent W-2 and a pay stub. I scanned and emailed a pay stub but couldn't find where I'd put my W-2, so in the body of the email I said that I would send the W-2 the next day. In reply, I received an email message saying I needed to send a W-2. Yes, I know, I said to the computer. I told you that yesterday. I started to replay "Dear nitwits, attached to this message is the W-2 I told you yesterday I would send today." But I figured that might make the Large Bank mad, and they might mess with the student loans. So I sent the W-2 with no attachment.

I spilled coffee in the hallway at work today. It was a mild spill, no damage to clothing or flooring. But I did manage get something non-coffee on my pants, don't know what. And last week I knocked over my coffee cup with the phone cord. It's what I get for using a disposable cup.

Lately and Other Things

So, my grandfather passed away on Tuesday night. We found out about it last night. We tend to have delayed emotional reactions in my family, so I'm fine right now, but I know later (maybe in a few months, maybe next year), I'll be really, really sad and will grieve then. In the meantime, there is my family to deal with. We're not ones for communicating well with each other, and in fact, I'm almost surprised we already know Grandpa passed away.

I went to the grocery store last night to buy allergy-safe food for the road trip to the funeral. I'm in the process of filling up my ipod (thanks again, Deals!) so that I don't have to listen to my family members in the car. We love each other and usually get along very well, but on a road trip, we turn on each other (see this description from ImpatientChicken).

In other news, I am taking a tai chi class with JLR and our friend MJ. Last Monday, I was waiting for JLR at the entrance to the gardens where the class is held, and the instructor happened by. He made the mistake of saying hello. I started talking. Five, maybe ten minutes later, I saw his eyes make a very familiar motion. They made that surreptitious sideways glance that says "I want to be in *there* (eyes pointing in the direction of where the person wants to be), but I'm stuck out here because that person won't stop talking (eyes looking at the person--me--who won't stop talking)." And then I tried to figure out a way to turn off the verbal faucet, but I'm not good at that sort of thing. And then, praise God, one of our classmates walked up, and we had someone else to talk to (with whom to talk).

That's all for now. I'm signing off to go pack for the road trip.

I spent a lot of time last night saying, "I can't believe I'm *that* stupid."

Last night, in a moment of sheer genius, I forgot I was allergic to tomatoes. No, actually, that's not true. I forgot that barbecue sauce is made with tomatoes and that I am therefore also allergic to barbecue sauce.

Took an antihistamine, probably no real harm done on the EE side, but still! I can't believe I'm that stupid.

In other news, I love kabocha squash. Come to think of it, that's not really "news," since it isn't new information. So I will amend my statement to say, On a different topic, I love kabocha squash.

Song in My Head

JLR posted the other day about songs that get stuck in her head. It made me think of the songs that get stuck in my head on a regular basis, and then I decided to share them with you. They are: Good King Wenceslas (not just at Christmas!) and The Night They Invented Champagne. Go figure.

So, the other day, I accidentally sprayed vinegar in my hair just as I was about to leave for work. Needless to say, I was a bit late that day.

Those of you who know me know I loved Veronica Mars and Pushing Daisies and Life, and how mad I was when Life was cancelled (I think it was the last of the three to go), and I pretty much swore off network television after that. But the other day something made me think about other television shows I wish had stuck around longer, and do you know what show I miss right now? This one.

It's plain as it can be, they thought of you and me....

Ack! That song is still stuck in my head.

Mmmmmmm, mochi.

Um...can you tell I'm procrastinating? I guess I should get back to work.

Incident Report, 2.21.2011

Today's post isn't so much an incident report as it is a Fatcident Report. I ate way too much. I started off the day with homemade cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. JLR and I made these last evening based on a recipe for cinnamon bread. We made 6 rolls and then a mini-bundt cake loaf with the rest. We each had two rolls last night and then ate the rest today, so I pretty much had half a loaf of bread (with frosting) for breakfast. And then for lunch, I was not hungry, but I still had half a cup (?) of rice, half a piece of mackerel, and a whole lot of greens. And *then* I wasn't hungry for dinner, but since I was meeting a friend for sushi, I ate dinner anyway. And then when I got home, I had some yaksik. Just because it was there. And now I sit here typing with my jeans unbuttoned because my stomach is uncomfortably full.

*Sigh.*

In other news...there is no other news. So here are some incidents from a couple of weeks back:

The weather has been rather icky lately. The past few days have been lovely (ah, mid-February, I love your 70-degree wonderfulness), but the early part of the month? Not good. On Tuesday of one particular week, weather conditions were bad enough that many cities in this metro area were closed for business, but not the one that employs me, so I had to go in to work on the icy roads that had not yet been sanded. It was scary. And I got to the office only to discover that half the building had decided to stay home from work. Folks, I cannot express to you how angry I was. All the employees in my department, which provides no emergency services whatsoever, felt pressured to come in, but the other departments were allowed to stay home? So. not. happy.

Anyhow, I tell you about the bad weather to lead up to a series of incidents, to wit:

So the next day, roads were a bit better, but I was delaying going into work because my car door locks had frozen. George (my car) sleeps outside, you see, not in a garage. And the awful cold was just too much for him. I could put the key in the lock, but it would not turn. I marched the 50 or 60 feet back to the house, got a lighter, went back out to try to warm up my key and then maybe warm up the inside of the lock. Lighter wouldn't stay lit in the wind. Went back inside to get a different lighter, trudged back outside. This lighter fared marginally better, but still wouldn't work to unlock the doors. Back inside to figure out what to do, and JLR said I could take her car to work. Go to work in her car. JLR texts me later to tell me she managed to get the back passenger side door unlocked. After work, sit in car with engine running trying to warm up the car enough to unlock the doors. While car is running, I take a seat in the back. Close the only unlocked door to keep out the cold air. Realize door handle is broken on the inside, and I have just trapped myself in my car, since the other doors won't unlock. Call JLR on my cell phone and ask her to let me out. After a few minutes, press the unlock button repeatedly and manage to get the other doors unlocked.

The next day, JLR needed her car, so I had to take George to work, but not to worry! We had left my car unlocked the night before, so opening the doors wouldn't be a problem. Closing them, on the hand, was another matter. Went out to car in the morning to go to work, opened front passenger side door to drop purse, lunch bag, etc., in passenger seat, swing passenger door to, and passenger door will not close. Repeated attempts to close door, with no good result. Try warming the car up and then closing the door. Nothing. Go inside house, eat breakfast, text co-workers with "I'm late again because of my car" message, work on report due the next day. Go back out to car, finally get passenger door to close, but not without the driver's side door first failing to close on the first attempt, just to mock me, I think.

So that's the kind of week I was having. Then one day the next week, we decided to bake some things. We baked a loaf of bread, which requires a humid environment in the oven, so we did our usual trick of putting a glass baking dish with ice and water in the oven while we pre-heat, to add moisture. After the bread was done, we turned up the heat to 500 degrees for the pizza I was going to make. The oven was supposed to be at 500 for at least 30 minutes before we start baking the crust. After a little while, JLR comes downstairs and says "What's that burning smell?" I wonder if I've accidentally left something in the oven, open the door, and there's the glass baking dish, all dried out and angry. I carefully remove the baking dish. And that's when I did something extra stupid. I thought, 'Oh, that dish is too dry, it's going to be ruined, I need to put moisture in it.' So I poured in some water. From the tap. Some cold water from the tap. Despite having learned in elementary school that adding a cold liquid to a hot glass container is a bad, bad idea. And the baking dish broke into many pieces.

And that's when JLR and I did something even more stupid. We immediately reached down and started cleaning up the hot, hot pieces. And then stood up and ran our hands under cold water and put neosporin on our minor burns.

So it's been like that lately.

I think I misspelled a word in this post somewhere. Just so you know.

This is why I don't like going new places.

The other day, I discovered that near my office is a health foods store where I could buy gluten-free food. I've been driving past this place for nigh on two years and had no idea it was there. On the way back, I made a wrong turn down the street to back to the office, figured out I was going the wrong way, looped back, decide to go to The Starbucks to get a banana, turned the wrong way again, decided, oh forget it, who needs a banana, if I get desperate, I'll just eat my peanut butter by itself.

And this is why I don't like to go new places. But at least at this point in my life, I've reached an "I'll just wing it" attitude instead of my former "I'm absolutely terrified I'll get lost and never see anyone I know again" mental state.

*

January, I'm Glad to See the Back of Ye

This January has not been my favorite month. In fact, it's about the worst few weeks in recent memory. Every week, I kept thinking it would get better, but instead every work day involved me crying on the way home because I was exhausted and couldn't see how there would be a time would I be not be exhausted. And the weekends were filled with chores and work and very little relaxation or fun. But January is over! And although February promises to be super busy as well, I'm cultivating an "I don't care what projects have to get dropped" attitude for work, and I think things will be better because of it. I'm not going to be rude or disrespectful, but things are just going to take longer to get done, and my co-workers and supervisors will have to accept it. I'm not going to work 10- or 12- or 14-hour days every work day and then a few hours on weekends, as well. I don't make enough money to pay someone to do my cooking and cleaning for me so that although I work a lot of hours, at least I don't also have to take time for chores.

In other news, I have no other news because I have no personal life. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm training to run a 5K in April. I'm excited about it.

Also, we're having a bit of warmer weather, and one of my plants is still alive.

Also, I have more food allergies now. Darn it. Or rather, I've had them for some time, but my body just recently realized it, I guess. But at least I'll feel better now that I'm avoiding those foods.

And I bought two new sports bras, so I feel all sporty and athletic. Still can't do more than one push up or run more than a mile, but at least I have the right clothing for working out.


So, the other night, my supervisor and I needed to make a site visit after an evening meeting, and he went out to warm up the city vehicle. I dashed out a minute later, and as I climbed into the vehicle, he laughed and said, "You're so cute." And I thought, 'Oh, great, not again.' You see, I recognized the tone of voice and the smile behind "You're so cute." It's not the "I would want to date you" smile or feeling. It's the same laugh or smile my dad gets when I do or say something that makes him think of me as still an 8-year-old. It's the same smile and tone of voice Hils uses when I say something, and then after a pause she says, "You're so pretty." I don't mind it, 'cause it's not as though they're suggesting I'm mentally deficient, but it is, as JLR puts it, the reason my mom suggested when I was looking for a place to live after college, that maybe the assisted living center would have a spot for me.

*Sigh.*

*

Coffee Desperation at Work Today

There I was, wandering down the hall shortly after 10 AM for my first cup of coffee of the day (first cup all day, y’all). I heard the sound of fast-moving footsteps behind me, turned, and saw my co-worker K. running down the hall in my direction.


“Why is she running?” I wondered. Then I thought, “Aw, she hasn’t seen me much today and is hurriedly coming to give me a hug while she’s on a break from her morning-long meeting.”


Then I noticed the head-down, determined look on her face...and the coffee cup clutched in her hand. And that’s when I realized she was trying to beat me to the break room to get the last cup of coffee in the pot.


Fortunately, I had a head start.

Nothing gets between me and the coffee!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

In celebration of the new year, here is a clip from The Hudsucker Proxy of Norville Barnes (played by Tim Robbins) having a bad New Year's Eve and trying to get a martini from a character played (very briefly) by Steve Buscemi. I'm posting it because it's my favorite Steve Buscemi role ever, and that's saying a lot, since I thought he was fantastic in 28 Days. He does such a great job as a beatnik.

(On a side note, Have Suitcase, Will Travel -- I miss you! If you were still active in the blog world, you'd leave a lovely beatnik/Clue-related comment).

Incident Report, 12-16-2010

Things have been incident-y lately. Well, sort of. Monday a week ago, here was my day:

1. Arrived at work about 10 minutes late.
2. Opened up email, and my calendar popped up a reminder that I had a doctor’s appoint in 15 minutes. Doctor’s office is 45 minutes away. Called to cancel doctor’s appointment.
3. Went downtown to pick up tax certificates to file a plat. Was told the tax certificates wouldn’t be ready that day and I would have to come back.
4. Went to Starbucks for a compensatory coffee and waited patiently, and then impatiently, while the barista flirted with a co-worker who was distracting her, causing her to first get my order wrong and then forget about my order completely. Eventually another barista thought to ask me what drink I was waiting for.
5. Couldn’t find car in parking garage. Went to three different levels before I found it, with poor, not-feeling-well JLR trudging along beside me.


Came down with a cold over the weekend. It made me miserable, but I had too much work to do to stay home (although I did leave work 30 minutes early this past Monday).

So around the day of the missed doctor’s appointment and lost car in the parking garage, I noticed a spot appear on my abdomen that looked to me like maybe it was a hive. I have limited experience with hives, and I chalked it up to stress since I’d been working late a lot and have had a pretty tough schedule at work lately. Then, a few days later, another one appeared. And then a third. All on different parts of my body. I looked up pictures of ringworm online, just to be safe, and it didn’t look like that’s what I had. Went back to thinking it was hives. Scheduled appointment with allergist. Talked to my mom on the phone two nights ago and described the problem to her. She said, “I’ve never known anyone to get just one hive at a time. Ever.” I’ve known people to get just one hive, but I guess people don’t usually get one and then another one a few days later.

Went to the allergist today. She peered at the spots, touched them, gave me a look, and said, “Yeah, that’s not hives.”

Apparently, I have a fungus.

Bother.

Startling Food Realization Today

Today, JLR and I realized we like candied ginger and ginger-flavored candy more than we like chocolate.

Very, very strange for us.

Stop. Talking. to. Yourself.

Do it. Your co-workers will thank you.


In other news, third graders from the local elementary school toured city hall today, and I welcomed them into my office, giant aerial map in hand, eager to talk about planning. The first question out of their mouths? They wanted to know why my office is so messy.

At least they didn't ask me how old I am or how much I'm paid, which is what two lucky co-workers were asked.

It's Not Pink Eye.

It's just irritated, that's all.

No need to worry.




*

Ginger Spit Ouch

Accidentally aspirated some ginger-filled spit today. Coughed, of course, as one does in such cases. It burns, y'all. It burns.


*

Recent chat with Impatientchicken

[13:49] bee: Yo.

[13:49] bee: What up?

[13:50] bee: Saw that you were logged in. I just logged in to see if I could catch [friend from grad school] for a minute. I don't know when he logs in, but it's never at the same time as me. Aaaanywho, just sayin' howdy.

[13:50] bee: Howdy!

[13:50] chicken: whadup!

[13:50] chicken: I have a korean question for you!

[13:52] bee: Lay it on me!

...[chicken asks, and bee answers]...

[13:59] bee: Hotdog, I could answer a question.

[13:59] bee: I feel good.

[14:00] chicken: It took me a minute to realize that you were saying "hotdog" as an exclamation.

[14:00] bee: Ha!

[14:00] bee: Hahahahahahahahahahah

[14:00] bee: It says "hotdog"

[14:00] bee: Trust me.

[14:00] chicken: :)

[14:01] chicken: Actually, it's better than that. FIRST I thought you were saying that she said hotdog.

[14:01] chicken: Then I thought you were using one of your famous nonsequitors. randomly saying "hotdog" (like maybe you wanted one?) and then, "I could answer a question," as in, if you have one, I could answer it. Then I thought maybe you meant, if you had a hotdog, you could answer a question.

[14:02] chicken: and THEN I figured out what you meant.

[14:02] chicken: So my thoughts were, "that does not say hotdog," (2) ???, and (3) I'm sorry you don't have a hotdog.

[14:03] chicken: And THEN I figured out that you had answered my question and were excited. But for a few minutes there, it was really interesting.

[14:03] chicken: well, seconds, not minutes.

[14:06] chicken: And also, for about a nanosecond, I wasn't sure that you weren't calling me a hotdog.

Why Are So Many People Against A-Few-Hours-Old Coffee?

Conversation with co-worker, as I walked into the office late this afternoon from the general direction of the break room:

Co-worker: [with suspicion] Are you drinking old coffee?
Me: It's not old. It's from today.
Co-worker: [pause] I made it late in the morning. I'll give you this one.

*

So Far This Morning

The alt + left arrow key feature on my computer isn't working this morning, and it really bothers me that I have to move my mouse all the way over to the back arrow on web browsers. We lazy people like our shortcuts.

But now it's been 30 minutes since taking my medication and it's finally time for breakfast! Wheeeeee!

All That Effort, and Nothing to Show for It.

Yesterday, I had a meeting at 10:00, and I figured I'd prepare for it in the morning when I got to work. I didn't have anything else on my calendar, so I mentally reserved the time between 8:00 and 10:00 for meeting prep. But not too long after I'd sat down at my desk, my boss came in and said, "I have a meeting at 9:30. Can you make a developer packet for me?" And I thought, "Oh, that's what I'm doing this morning." And the rest of the day went like that.

Today was our office health fair! We had the results of our fitness challenge. Although I didn't win the challenge, I did walk more than my supervisor, so he had to wear my school colors to the health fair. All that hard work was worth it...if only it had made some difference in my actual physical appearance. Still the same size. Still can't fit those clothes I bought on sale last month because they juuuuuuust managed to fit, before I gained a couple of pounds.

And then I found out that I came in 2nd place in the fitness challenge!

And then I had toffee for lunch.

In other news, nothing interesting in going on with me.

(But the good news is that the toffee was recently found in the office fridge by a co-worker. I'd forgotten all about it! Sweet! Don't worry, it was still good.)

Lately

Went to New York. Had fun. Ate at some places with allergy-free (for me) food.
Went to San Antonio for a conference. Hotel was...okay. But ate at two restaurants that have allergy-free (for me) food.

At the post office, bought stamps, and when the post office employee asked me which stamps I wanted, I lied and said I wanted the painting ones (forget which). Although they were pretty stamps, what I really wanted was the Negro league baseball stamps, but since I'm white and the post office employee was African-American, I felt I'd be one of those "I'll prove to you that I appreciate your heritage" kind of people, and couldn't do it. Blah. Felt silly and wished I'd had the nerve to ask for the stamps I really wanted.

Not happy to be back at work after two weeks away. Also, and I'm not trying to make a joke out of this, I am serious about this beginning to seem like an issue to be concerned about:
Two weeks ago, one co-worker's grandmother passed away. Last week, one of my colleagues passed away unexpectedly. The week before that, another co-worker's spouse passed away. And this past weekend, another co-worker's father-in-law died. I'm starting to wonder if my office is under some sort of attack, and I'm only about 5% kidding when I say that.

Saw "Man from Nowhere" last weekend. It was fantastic. Very violent, and I had to not only close my eyes but plug my ears a few times, but also really, really well-done.

Incident Report, 8-17-10

First of all, it's been so long since I last posted anything that I forgot my login ID.

1. Went to visit BF/R the last week, a three hour drive. Made it all the way to her city limits without spilling a thing. A few miles in to the city, spilled coffee all over my linen pants.

2. Had dinner with a friend last night. She accidentally spilled her water glass, and almost all 12 ounces or so landed on me. Not one drop landed on her.

3. Gave presentation at city council meeting the other night and used the word "hooligans." Looked up to see city council member about to break into laughter, told him not to laugh at me. After the meeting, the council member, the mayor, and a Planning & Zoning Commissioner came up to me (separately) to make fun of me for using that word.

4. Dropped a piece of ginger candy in my car somewhere, and it has probably melted into the floor.

5. As I was leaving work today, walked across our small parking lot toward where I thought my car was. A co-worker said, "Where are you going? Your car's over there."

6. Accidentally cut my wrist (mildly) on broken t.v. antenna. Stupid rabbit ears.

7. Offended my mother by not telling her I had my esophagus dilated again until after the procedure was already over.

Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille Day, everyone!

Last night, JLR and I spared the life of a little bug crawling across the kitchen floor. This made us happy. Later, we saw it trapped in a spider web, with spider almost upon it. This made us sad.

But on the other hand, we found some ice cream JLR can eat. This makes us happy. It also makes us fat, which makes us sad--but happy-sad, which is better than just plain sad.

I'm going to drink some coffee now.


*

Incident Report, June 14, 2010

1. As I was about to leave for work, cat gets sick. Time spent cleaning up after cat takes up those few minutes separating "on time for work" from "late for work."
2. Went home on lunch break to check on cat. Large dead "waterbug" on floor. Decided to sweep up dead bug, which was, in fact, only mostly dead. Deadish bug flipped over and scurried a bit. Tried to squish it with swiffer. Failed. Vaccuumed up bug. Also vaccuumed up sister's sock.
3. Late returning from lunch.
4. In closing car door after arrival at office, accidentally stuck my hand on part of door with bird poo.

On the day before, banged knee into storage chest. Ten minutes later, banged it on same chest, again.


*

But They're So Good

How many Reed's Ginger Candy Chews is too many for one day? What do you think?

I've had, um, just over a dozen. That's a lot of ginger chews. But is it too many? I tried to resist eating so many (well, sort of), but they're just so irresistible.

And at least this time I didn't overeat nut butter. JLR's co-worker put the fear of Gall Bladder Removal in me, so for the time being I've cut back on all things extra fatty, but she didn't say anything about losing organs due to too much sugar intake.


*

I Hate Spring

I used to love spring. So pretty, so green, so refreshing. Everything new and bright and clean! And I still love spring for about 2 or 3 days, right when it first gets going in full swing. And then the hate starts in. I'm not allergic to the pollen, but the constant change in the weather irritates my nasal passages and gives me all the allergic-type reactions just the same. And then there's the tornadoes. And then...those dadgum baby birds. A week or so ago, I rescued a hatchling that had fallen out of its nest, but usually we're not so fortunate. Usually spring involves several days of coming home and finding already dead baby bird on the ground by where we park our cars. Coming home after a hard day at work, one hopes to find something a bit more uplifting.

Spring also makes the bugs come out in large quantities. And today, when I was digging in the ground behind our deck to see if the sweet potato plants from last year had produced any actual sweet potatoes, I uncovered something under a pile of leaves that looked very much like a vertebral (?) bone. And then another one. And another one. And as my gaze shifted to the right, I saw what looked like hip bone from a large cat-sized or smallish dog-sized animal.

Not. cool. Wedged right up against our deck. Not cool.

And I get that there's a cycle of life and that animals (including people) live and die all the time, but whatever, does it have to be right where I garden, right where I try to grow vegetables?

Not that I'm blaming spring for the dead animal, but still.
*

Incident Report -- Lately

I haven't been keeping up with a daily log, but here are some of the incidents that have occurred lately:

1. Spilled my breakfast on my pants (while at work).
2. Spent quite a bit of time ironing my shirt one night, but I hadn't been at work for long the next day when it looked like instead of ironing it, I had balled it up and stomped on it repeatedly.
3. I didn't want to get out the iron for my pants in the morning, so I used the flat iron. This had worked before, but this time I must have had styling products on the flat iron because it smudged something down the front of my pants.
4. Smudged my nail polish. So that I could go ahead and leave for work, painted over the smudge instead of removing the polish and starting over. Put lunch in fridge at work and smudged the polish.
5. Came home on lunch break to find a (still living) baby bird on the ground. Put it back in the nest.
6. Took a sip of water, spilled water down the front of my shirt.
7. Got in to my car to go to work, and something floated in to the car and landed on my pants. Attempted to brush it off the pants. Smeared the whatever it was on to the pants.
8. City council member walked in to my office while I was talking to myself.
9. On the same day as Item 8, co-worker saw me talking to myself in the parking lot.
10. Came home on lunch break to find dead baby bird on the ground.
11. Went to allergist for environmental allergy testing. Results were that I am allergic to rabbit but not pollen, dust, mold, trees, or anything like that, but that I do have vasomotor rhinitis. In other words, strong smells, changes in barometric pressure, and that sort of thing could cause what seems like an allergic reaction. JLR said that was bad because it meant I couldn't get shots to get rid of the sneezing and congestion. I said, "Whatever, sister. I do not care about such things as allergy shots because I am invincible! I can spend all day outside and not feel a thing because I am INVINCIBLE!" And then we had a lot of rapid weather changes, and I spent all yesterday sneezy and congested. Pride goeth before a fall, y'all.


And also, my eyebrows are becoming unsightly again. Must pluck soon.



*

New Year's Resolution

It's New Year's Resolution time for me. You know those people who make the same resolution year after year, hoping this time they'll really stick with it (the whatever it is they swear they're actually going to accomplish)? I'm one of those people. My resolution comes not in January, but in late spring. Every year, without fail, I think 'This is it. This is the year I will garden successfully.' No, I don't seriously believe that all my plants will make it. But I do believe that I will tend to my plants carefully, accurately diagnose problems when they arise, and treat plants as needed to eliminate pests and climate-related ailments--even though a voice in the back of my mind reminds me that I'm not the outdoorsy type and am unlikely to spend much time gardening once the temperature rises above 90.

This year is no exception.

Yesterday, I planted six cherry tomato plants. I already had planted a regular tomato plant and a bell pepper plant, and one of my pepper plants from last year is coming back [!]. The cherry tomatoes, well, they look a little sad already. I had them outside in their little pots, waiting until I had time to put them into bigger pots. They were up on a ledge to protect them from whatever it is that sometimes digs up my plants, but I forgot about the wind. When I went outside yesterday, I saw that they had all fallen off the ledge and looked miserable. Going into action right away, I quickly repotted them and watered them well, but today they still don't look so hot.

Bother.

Maybe I need to play them some Pink Martini.


*

Eat Like Us for a Day Challenge 2010

Hello, People Who Read My Blog! I'm posting a request for you to participate in Eat Like Us for a Day Challenge 2010. The two people who still read my blog I also communicate with in other ways, so you've probably already heard about this, but just in case someone else happens to stop here for a moment, I'm posting some information about the event.

Here's how the Atlanta/North Georgia American Partnership for Eosinophilic Disorders Support Group describes it:

Can you imagine life without food? Could you cope?

Could you help your child to cope?

Eosinophils (eos) are white blood cells and are a component of your immune system which normally play a role in fighting parasitic infections. They can also play a role in allergic diseases as well. In patients with eosinophilic diseases, eosinophils are inappropriately called to areas which normally do not contain eosinophils or present in areas that do contain eosinophils, but do so significantly exaggerated numbers. It is thought that these eosinophils then cause damage by releasing inflammatory chemicals, normally intended for infectious organisms, on normal body tissues. Eosinophilic diseases are an emerging and quickly expanding field of study...Treatments may include dietary modification, formulas, systemic steroids, oral topical steroids, or leukotriene/mast cell agents. New therapies are emerging as well.

Many people with Eosinophilic disorders must maintain strict diets. Sometimes only one or two kinds of foods are able to be safely consumed. Many patients survive without any food at all, by drinking elemental formulas or by consuming them through a tube inserted directly into the stomach.

I'm blessed that my condition is nothing like what is described above; that said, however, I do have a restricted diet. I have to avoid corn, wheat, barley, rye, and soy. My allergist says I may have wheat, barley, rye, and soy in limited quantities, but after having dysphagia in inconvenient places a couple of times, I've chosen to avoid them entirely. If eating those foods means there will be one more time when I have to excuse myself from the table (whether eating with family or attending a networking lunch in a restaurant) to go stick my finger down my throat and cough up what I've just eaten, I'd rather do without. And many, many thanks to the one family member who has patiently helped me deal with this (ahem, *JLR*) and who reminds me that, oh, I don't know, maybe I should see my doctor every now and again.

If you decide to join me, read the labels at the grocery store very carefully. Here's a list of corn-derived ingredients: http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php.

If you take the challenge, be prepared also to avoid almost every restaurant and all fast food.

Here's a facebook page for the event: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=313283326802.

I will greatly appreciate anyone out there who participates with me.

*

Vertical Pack Green Beans

A year (or so) ago, I saw these in the grocery store and wanted to buy them. I don’t remember the conversation, but I’m reasonably sure JLR made one of two remarks: either (1) ‘Hey, if you’re actually interested in green beans, let’s go for it’; or (2) ‘Sure. Why not? We both know you’re not really going to eat them, but since I like green beans, let's buy them anyway, I’ll eat them.’

Fast-forward a year (or so), and no one has eaten the Vertical Pack Green Beans. To tell you the truth, I think we're both a little afraid of them. At the time of purchase, I thought, ‘These green beans are different! Their being packed vertically means they will someone taste different from regular green beans!’ But once they were in my home, the realistic side of my brain took over and said, ‘No, they won’t. No matter how you pack them, they’re still green beans.’

And I can’t bring myself to get rid of them.

Comments on K-Pop, Part 1: The Bad Boy

Look, if you look like you're about, oh, 16 years old, and you're in a boy band, you shouldn't refer to yourself as a 'bad boy.' You're only setting yourself up for mockery. This is, of course, in addition to the mockery you will already experience merely for being in a boy band.

Now, granted, I don't speak Korean, so maybe you didn't say you were a bad boy. Maybe you said, "Some people think I'm a bad boy, but I'm not, so please love me," or "I'm so glad I'm not some stupid bad boy." But I doubt it, and I cannot take you seriously. You sing that line, and I snicker, "All right. Sure. We'll go with that."

And don't even get me started on men who use the term "my lady."

Rain, on the other hand? If he wants to sing pop music, and if wants to say he's a bad boy, that is fine with me, because the man himself is just fine with me. He is fine. I feel kind of like a gross old woman for saying than since I think he's just barely above the age of consent, but still. Man (he's only six years younger than me! That's not too much, right? No. Sadly, you're right. It is too much).

Besides, he was in Ninja Assassin, and even though that's just a movie, I'm pretty sure he could kick my behind and the behinds of most of the people I know.

*

In Other Gardening News

The peppermint plant is definitely dead. The rosemary, however, was managing to hang on--though just barely. Encouraged, I bought a bell pepper plant last weekend, which we named Douglas (although he is not a runner bean plant). It made it through the week indoors, and on Sunday I did the right thing by the plants and repotted them, used both mulch and compost, and placed them outside, where they could have plentiful sunshine.

This evening, I peeked outside to see if both plants were still alive. Y'all, something pulled out the rosemary. My little rosemary plant! It's been yanked out of its pot!

I'm worried for Douglas.



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One Way to Make Sure I Don't Work Late

Our code compliance officer, who is only a few years away from retirement, thinks I work too many hours. As he was leaving on Friday, he told me he was having my car towed at 5:15. I think he was only half joking.




*

In Memory of Dixie Carter

One of my favorite clips of Ms. Carter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NclMJGQrCek

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

*

The Peppermint Has A Friend

We recently acquired a little rosemary plant. If we can keep that one alive, too, who knows what we'll do next?! Look out, (gardening) world!


*

It's Time for the Annual Birthday Confusion!

Howdy, y'all. My friend Hils' birthday is on Wednesday. It's on February 10th. I know this because she mentioned it in an email to me today. I also know this because it's on my calendar already from last year. It's a source of confusion to me every year. You see, for some reason, I cannot disabuse my mind of the idea that her birthday is not on February 9th. So every year I have this same conversation with myself:

Self: [looking at calendar] February 10th? That can't be right. Her birthday is on the 9th. Hmm. But I wrote it down on as the 10th. Is it the 10th? No, it can't be.

It is at this point that I usually involve JLR. "Is Hils' birthday on the 9th or the 10th?" I ask. To which she replies:

"It's the 9th, isn't it?"

So happy birthday, Hils, albeit a day early! Or right on time! But probably a day early!

Incident Report, 2-5-10

1. Spilled tea on menu and table at restaurant (but just a little bit)
2. Spilled coffee on hand
3. Spilled food off plate onto table
4. Spilled water on self
5. Spilled coffee on hand, again
6. Ran into doorway
7. Did all of the above while on a date.

*

Incident Report, 2-3-2010

1. Spilled tea on myself 3 times
2. Almost fell out of my chair while rolling away from my desk
3. Gave myself the shakes from drinking too much coffee
4. Failed to clear wall
5. Almost spilled coffee on myself--but just got a little on my chin instead
6. Co-worker mocked my lack of upper body strength by asking if I needed help carrying a box of plastic cups.
7. City council member mocked my lack of upper body strength. I told him about the chin-up bar I want to buy, and he asked if I was planning to use it as a clothesline.

And in other news, the peppermint plant still lives! It might need to be moved to a bigger pot, though.


*

Take the Shot

About a week and a half ago, I noticed that the pinky finger on my right hand looked a bit irritated--red and slightly puffy. I thought at first that it was just my usual dry, wintry-old-lady hands. But then I noticed that even when the rest of my fingers looked normal, this one did not. After checking with several websites and JLR, I decided to pay a visit to a doctor. Just in case. Not that I thought there was anything really wrong, but, you know, I didn't want to lose a finger because I thought the problem would go away on its own and left it untreated. Mistakenly thinking a medical problem is getting better (when it most definitely is not) is more JLR's thing.

But as it turns out, my finger was infected. I don't know how or when it happened. I didn't have any stuff oozing out of my finger, but infected it was just the same. So the doctor put me on antibiotics and a steroid. She offered me an antibiotics shot to get treatment off to a big start, which I declined. I didn't want to overdo it on the medication, you see. I guess I forgot that one should never take lightly an infection...but the doctor didn't. And when I came back a couple of days later for a follow-up visit, I was given another antibiotic to take, since I hadn't taken the shot. I don't know if it was one the medicines or the combination, but something did not sit well. So during the next week I had alternating bouts of nausea and shakiness and exhaustion.

At work I acted like EVERYTHING IS OKAY, NO NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME, and so, of course, no one did. And so of course I didn't feel like I could take any sick time, especially since someone else would have had to take over a project that was due on Friday.

Yuck.

The point of this post is simply this: when the doctor offers, take the shot.



*

Plants again!

My success with growing (read: not killing) both jalepeno plants and sweet potato plants this year has encouraged me to keep trying. JLR and I recently bought a peppermint plant. This one is going to be tricky. I can't leave it in any of our home's prime windowsill locations because Wally will eat it. So during the day I leave it in the one window Wally can't reach, but this window isn't insulated very well, and with the cold temperatures, the plant has been looking a bit pitiful lately. And by "lately," I mean, "basically since the day after I brought it home."

But I'm hopeful yet.

Come on, little peppermint, you can do it!

*

Problems with English

I don't know if it's a lack of sleep, a lack of proper nutrition, or just generally getting older, but JLR and I have been having some problems speaking properly. The other night, for example, she told me that she was having breathing problems, "because of the nases." I think she meant her sinus/nasal passages? I couldn't laugh at her because earlier that evening I had made quite a statement of my own.

We were listening to Christmas music on an online radio station. I really liked one song, and JLR told me that it was a Manheim Steamroller song. I was surprised. Not that I don't like any of their music, mind you, but it's not generally my taste. I wanted to say, "Get out!" but my brain was having none of it. It reached for something similar, something that would do, and before I could stop it, my mouth spat it out.

"Go home!" I said with gusto.

Go home. I just--I don't know.


*

Planning in a Small City

I work for a city of about 7,000 people and about 6 1/2 square miles. Definitely a small city. We're in an urbanized area, however, and are surrounded by larger cities. The city bordering us to the west has about 750,000 people, and the one sharing our eastern border has about 300,000. Many of our problems, then, are distinctly urban in nature. But despite finding ourselves in the midst of big cities, we still have to deal with rural-type problems, and when we do, well, the suburbanite in me is tickled pink. I can't help it.

Today, a co-worker and I were driving around town posting signs about an upcoming meeting, when my co-worker pointed out that Mr. Carter's goats had gotten out of his field and had wandered into the cemetery next door. Mind you, they weren't in the part with graves, but still. It had potential to become An Issue. After all, who would want to see their loved ones' gravestones being nibbled on by wayward goats? I needn't have worried, though. When I drove back by a little bit later, the goats had moved on. They had somehow circumvented the fence and were now calmly grazing across the street in front of the insurance office.

Conference

Last month, I went to a professional conference on the coast. The warm weather and beach view were great, as was the break from work--oh, no, wait. There was no break. I took my computer and worked in my hotel room at night. Except--there were two nights when I hung out with other professionals at the pre-arranged evening conference activities and the later trips to local bars. And I had no idea people acted that crazy when they're away from home. See, when I'd been at conferences before, I'd skipped the evening activities. But now I see what I've been missing. This appears to be the typical conference agenda:

First day:
Attend workshops all day. Go out drinking with other attendees until midnight.

Second day:
Get up in time to attend all day workshops. Go out drinking with other attendees until, oh, 1 or 2 in the morning when the bars close. Go to IHOP.

Third day:
Repeat activities from second day, except go to game room in swanky resort hotel to play shuffle board instead of going to IHOP.

Fourth day:
Improve on activities from 2nd and 3rd days by hiring a mini-bus to drive you around so you don't have to worry about drinking and driving while bar-hopping.

Y'all, I have no idea how they do it. I'm younger than most of the people I hung around with, and I hadn't a hope of participating in their, um, scheduled activities. There was no way. I stayed up with them on the 2nd and 3rd nights, and even without drinking I couldn't stay awake as long as they could.

And also, there were so many times when I wanted to say, "Does your wife know you're behaving like that?!?"

They're crazy, y'all.


*

I wish I could work on a project with Danica McKellar...

...because then I'd have a finite Erdős-Bacon number.



*

Yum!

Tonight, JLR made a delicious tomato basil soup, totally from scratch. Well, she did use a wee smidge of leftover tomato sauce. But she also chopped and cooked down fresh tomatoes, she added the right amount of seasoning, she figured out how much other stuff to throw in to thicken it and make it taste good, grain-free and impatientbee-and-impatientchicken-allergen-free. And oh, how it does taste good!

Good job, JLR!


(This is a noteworthy accomplishment because neither JLR nor I are good at cooking. Our list of failures is much, much longer than our list of successes.)
*

It Be The 19th, And Ye Know What Day That Do Be.

TLAPD

Dear ArcMap,

I appreciate your working with me on georeferencing our zoning map, I really do. I just wish--and don't take offense and stop working--I do wish that it hadn't taken all day for this to happen. All day and part of my evening.

Oh, it's the computer's fault you say? But it runs my other programs just fine. Not that I'm accusing you of causing problems! Please don't stop working.

*******

In other news, the co-workers have been commenting on the state of my office. In particular, they have been commenting on the barrenness of the walls. Yes, the walls probably would look better if I put up pictures or something, but I don't like to personalize my work space too much. I'm going to have to do something, though, just so that my co-workers won't think I'm strange. Also, one of the city council members said my office looked like a bureaucrat's office.



*

Watermelon, I Love You

I ate a pound of watermelon today. I know this not only because the package said it contained a pound of this yummy, sweet, watery treat but also because I weighed myself before and after eating the watermelon.

If I had had more, I would have eaten it.



*

Ha Ha, You Will Not Compress My Old Files!

God bless those folks over at Halff. They’re happy to answer my GIS questions as best they can. I say “as best they can” not to disparage their ability to use GIS but rather to indicate the number of GIS-related issues I’ve been having that don’t seem to have an obvious solution. You know the kind; you explain the problem to the tech people, they offer a solution, you tell them you’ve already tried that (many times), and they say, “Huh. That should have worked.”

Anyway, so I’ve been having some computer-ish problems. And this only serves to remind me that I’ve already reached that stage in life when new technologies (or updates to old ones) leave one completely baffled. For instance, on Facebook, I cannot figure out how to figure out what groups I’m in.

This is me on Facebook (see red part of the pie chart):



(Thank you, GraphJam). [http://graphjam.com/page/7/]

My point in saying all this is that just now, when I ran a Disk Cleanup, I refused to let the computer compress my old files. I’m sure this would help my computer a lot, but somehow, it just seems like it would mess up my files, that somehow my files will be lower in quality. I know this is unreasonable, but I can’t help feeling that way, and so no, thank you, do not compress my old files, Computer. I saw that you checked that little box to compress them, but I’m unchecking it. Oh, yes.

Incident Report, 08.11.09

1. Spilled coffee on my pants.
2. Spilled coffee on my shirt and pants.
3. Left out a few words from a legal notice for a public hearing, and now we have to re-run the ad ($) and postpone the hearing. I think the notice was still good, but my supervisor disagrees, and so I had to make the "I'm sorry we can't hear your case yet" phone call to the applicant. All this after our finance director explicitly told all departments they need to be extra careful about sticking to their projected expenditures for the rest of the fiscal year.
4. Was really excited to find an elementary school classmate on Facebook and added him to my friends list, only to discover after reading his profile and wall postings that we have just as little in common now as we did 12 years ago, and maybe reconnecting wasn't a good idea after all. Could be awkward. His status messages all seem to be about partying, drinking, and Prodigy, and my status messages do not. (But I used to think one of the guys from Prodigy was cute; does that count for something?)
5. Hit self in face with windshield sun blocker thing, hope none of my co-workers saw it.

But at least I didn't fall down, right?

You Keep Forgetting I'm New

A slight problem at work, I think my superiors keep forgetting that I’m new. Not just new to this city, but new to the planning profession in general. Several times lately, we’ve been in meetings about important projects, and someone looks at me and says, “Have you done the such-and-such yet?”

Blink. Blink-blink-blink-blink.

Oh, was I supposed to do that, then?

I didn’t know that. Because I’m new…to everything .


Another work issue:
I’ve had to listen to tapes of myself speaking at meetings, and I’ve noticed a disturbing speech pattern of mine in these situations.

It goes like this:
Normal speed, normal speed, normal speed, really…slow…at…end…of…sen…tence.

Example:
“Item n, the Commission agreed to recommend adopting language similar to that used in [other city] concerning the screening of compressors, and we should meet with [gas company] to get more information on this top…ic. And then you’re approving the language suggested by staff concerning noise levels. All we have from [the gas company] is what we gave…to…you. Concerning the screening of compressors, I have a suggestion there, borrowed from [other city], and this would be added to the proposed section a…bove.”

It doesn’t happen with every sentence, but it does happen often enough to be noticeable. Bother.

Also, I almost fell out of chair yesterday. This was at home, so only JLR saw me.


*

Good job, Masterpiece Mystery. You totally screwed up again.

Why, why , WHY did I spend an hour and a half of my precious little free time watching that horrible excuse for an Agatha Christie?

And will Masterpiece Mystery ever get it right? Ever?

I beginning to doubt it. I don't think I will be watching anymore of their Christie adaptations. They've messed it up too many times now.




Is it too much to ask that they at least pretend to keep the same plot? Or characters? Or motives?

*

No Incidents Lately

Hello. There have been no incidents to report lately. There have been several misses, several almost-run-in-to-wall moments and similar moments, but nothing major to report. Well, that's not true. The other day I was shaking my spill-proof (I thought) drink container, and green tea came splashing out. I don't think I spilled anyway--no, wait. I did spill on myself. Okay, so there has been one incident.

Also, I keep accidentally choosing "print" instead of "print selection" at work so that instead of printing a 2-page excerpt from the city code, I print an entire chapter. So now I have several complete copies of the planning and zoning code in a desk drawer at work. But other than that, everything has been incident-free, really.

And that's because JLR is having all of the incidents. I declare, that woman has spilled more and dropped more in the past couple of weeks than I've seen happen to one person in a long time. While I hope it gets better for her, I hope that when it does get better, she doesn't pass it back to me.

Gee, I can’t wait to graduate and not have to do so much research...oh. Never mind.

This is what I get for saying so often that research was the part of school I liked the most. I should have told everyone that hanging out with friends at the coffee place was what I liked best about school.

Hi. At my new-ish job, we’re revising several of our ordinances. To prepare for ordinance revisions, one does a bit of research on issues, possible ways to address said issues, how other cities have changed their ordinances, and possible additional problems that may stem from trying to address the original problems though ordinances. Only as it turns out, it’s not just a bit of research; it’s a lot of research. It’s a lot of working until midnight, with just a break for dinner and shower.

I like having a real planning job, and I like my co-workers; I just wish I had a wee smidgen of free time.

And if you’re wondering why I’ve been posting even less frequently than usual, this is why.

In other news, I embarrassed myself in front of one of our city council members by demonstrating my complete lack of mathematical ability. He said he gets to the gym at 4:30 in the morning (I know!) and is still there at 7:30 when another council member gets there.

Me: I don’t know what I’d do at the gym for 4 hours.

Him: It’s 3 hours.

Great.

I had to present our strategic plan to the city council last week, and the city manager told me to take about 45 minutes. It took me 4 minutes. I was debating inwardly about whether I should try to stretch it out some more, you know, maybe read every page of the plan to them, when I looked around the council chambers and noticed one of the council members sorting his mail, paying his bills. And then I wasn’t so worried about taking up their time. To be fair to him, they had all read the strategic plan before, there was nothing new—and it made me feel much better about being 41 minutes short of material.

Also, minor incident report: I was using the work-issued headphones to transcribe minutes from the Planning & Zoning Commission, and used only one hand to yank the headphones off my head. What I didn’t realize is that the metal earpiece/headband part is attached to the cord by a magnet…and when I yanked the cord too hard, the metal earpiece snapped back onto my head.

And that’s me lately.

I hereby heartily agree with JLR's post

And then some.





-

In the Language of I Can Has Cheezburger,

I has a job.

And thus I has a happy.


-

On Getting Older

JLR and I bought a 10x mirror this weekend. It was time.

*Sigh*.



-

Chew, Chew, Chew Your Food

Dear RR,

This is a note from Your Esophagus. Please note that all food must be chewed quite thoroughly before swallowing. Any food not thoroughly chewed before swallowing will be rejected and returned to you. While we understand that you are sometimes in a hurry to eat, it is our policy not to make exceptions to this rule. This policy is clearly stated in our handbook. Please note that this policy was not set by us, Your Esophagus, but was put in place by our governing institution, Eosinophilic Esophagitis, and cannot be changed by us.

Sincerely,
Your Esophagus

-

I'm Not Getting Sick

I've made up my mind. I've made up my mind, and I'm not getting sick. So there, lurking illness.

In other news, still don't have a job, but the volunteer work is keeping me plenty busy. I'm involved in three projects right now, and one of them might even pay me a little bit. Not much, but it should buy groceries for a week--meaning I don't have to take grocery money out of my savings. Hurray!

As it turns out, there are plenty of planning jobs in the area, but they're all for people with experience...hence the volunteer work. I've got to do something to get real world experience on the resume. The work I'm doing may not pay, but it's worth a lot to be able to put it on the ol' c.v.

Last Saturday, went to a friend's birthday party at a local restaurant. The food was good, the company was entertaining, the restaurant's bathroom was great, the shoes were un.comfortable. The group went out dancing after dinner, but JLR and I had to check out of the party. Why do pretty shoes hurt so much? That's it, I said. I'm saving up for some Cole Haan Nike Air. I bet we wouldn't have had to go home if I'd been wearing these: http://shrinkster.com/14yu

By golly.

-
P.S. If you know of anyone who has worn Cole Haan Nike Air shoes and can say whether they really are as comfortable as they're supposed to be, please do let me know.

-

One Day When I Was Bored

That's candle wax, mes amis.

Not bad, what?

-



-

Any idea how often I'm supposed to take this?

It's not quite clear to me.



-

A Note about "The Unconcious Witness"

Let me tell you something about this book. Or more specifically, something about the cover of this book. Did you look at the picture? Did you take a good look at it?

Now, I like hardboiled detective fiction, so although I found the cover a bit cheesy, it did not deter me from reading the book. I'd been meaning to read a Dr. Thorndyke story since reading Partners in Crime, so while I wasn't expecting any incidents in the book to match the scene depicted on the cover, what did I know? I'd never read anything from the series.

But as it turns out, I did know.

I draw your attention again to the cover.

Among the characters in the story are a man and a blonde woman. That's about where the cover's relation to the story ends. At no point in the story does anyone wear an evening gown. At no point does the protagonist --or any other character--wear a tuxedo. At no point in the story does a woman faint. At no point does the protagonist--or anyone else--wield a gun.

This begs the question for the illustrators--what story did they read?



-

What the--is THAT what I look like these days?

I freely admit that since I stopped taking classes to focus on my thesis, I kind of let myself go. This trend was not reversed when I finished the thesis, graduated, and began my job search. I stopped exercising. I stopped ironing my clothes or taking the trouble to put on clothes that matched (unless I planned to leave the house, which was not often). I haven't had a hair cut in I don't know how long. But I have nevertheless maintained some standards...or so I thought.
Today, I glanced in the mirror before heading out the door to a meeting. To my horror, I noticed that my eyebrows have taken on an appallingly unattractive pattern. While I've been sure to stave off the monobrow, and while I've remembered to tweeze the hairs growing under the main brow line, I've totally neglected the hairs growing to the upper ends of my brows. In other words, I looked vaguely like that guy from the Hudsucker Proxy ("He didn't look unhappy..."). As usual, I was running behind schedule, and I had no time to dash upstairs and remove or trim the offending eyebrow hairs. All I could do was slick the hairs down as best I could and hope that no one would notice.




In other news, here are the latest incidents:
1) In trying to scoop out the pit from an avocado, I accidentally sent it shooting across the counter and onto the floor, where it landed in the pitcher I use to water the plants.
2) Tried to make mung bean/broad bean noodles for the first time the other day. Thought instructions said to cut into pieces, then soak for ten minutes. Cutting the noodles was like trying to cut fishing wire, and I sent pieces of noodle flying all over the kitchen. After cutting noodles, looked at package for cooking instructions and realized that the instructions were to soak the noodles for ten minutes, and then cut them...when they're softer.
3) Have started eating persimmons, but wasn't sure which parts were edible. Read online description of fruit that said it could be eaten like an apple. Have been slicing and eating them, skin and all. Read today that the skin is definitely not to be eaten.
4) Forgot to take coffee grounds I've been saving to friend who composts. Coffee grounds now growing mold but can't bring myself to throw them out. Would put them in own small compost bin, but the neglected compost is now growing seedlings, and I can't bring myself to disturb them.
5) Landlord is giving us a new refrigerator and oven this weekend, which means I have to clean the refrigerator and oven in the next two days. More importantly, when they move the fridge, they'll see the piece of chicken bone I accidentally shot behind the fridge when I was chopping chicken bones for stock.
6) Mystery cuts on fingers of right hand. Am afraid they're the result of having old lady easily-cut dry hands.
7) Blood blister on left pinky toe from stubbing foot on banister.

Legume Day, My Favorite!

Must. get. motivated. to. find. job.

The rational side of me realizes that the contents of my savings account are rapidly disappearing. The used-to-student-loans-coming-in side of me says, "What's the big deal? You'll get another check in a week or so. Right? Right?!?"

Anyway, in other news, JLR and I are on a rotation diet in an effort to avoid developing sensitivities to other foods. So if we eat something from one food family on Monday, we don't eat it again until Friday. We're doing this mainly because we our diet had been consisting of legumes, fruit, oats, and rice. Since oats and rice are both in the same plant family as wheat (to which I already have a sensitivity), and since JLR has already demonstrated an allergic reaction (we think that's what it was) to eating too much peanut butter (legumes) over a short period of time, a rotation diet seems a good idea. I won't tell you what happened, since it's her story, but it had never happened to JLR before and hasn't happened since. And that's a good thing. Nothing gross--just midly frightening.

Today is legume diet. It is our favorite. Today, we may have: black bean soup; hummus; cannellini dip; peanut butter cookies; green beans; black eyes peas; or any other member of the much-beloved-by-us plant family. It's hard not to think about food all day when it's legume day. Or Lara Bar Day. Yum, lara bars...I've been thinking about food all day.

Sad. *Sigh*.

Last Post of 2008

Hi, folks! Let's see, what's been going on with me lately...

I finished the thesis. I graduated. I only recently started looking for a job, so needless to say, I do not have a job yet. ["Don't panic! Don't panic!"]

There have been very few incidents lately. The other day I missed the last step coming down the stairs, but the wall was there to hold me up, so no physical injuries. Just surprise. A few minutes later, I knocked over our space heater, and it hasn't sounded quite the same since. I'm a little afraid of it now, to tell you the truth.

I recently remembered that I have eosinophilic esophagitis, not just food allergies, so maybe I shouldn't be eating the foods I'm not supposed to have. I have a very mild case of EE, though. I think if I had a bad case of it, there's no way I would have forgotten I had it. I've read stories of other people who have it, and wow, I just thank God my case is so mild.

Wally is just fine. His digestive issues might be getting under control now that he's on Pepcid AC, which we have to try to sneak into his food. That cat. I declare.

I have a plan to slowly get my family to go on the same corn-free, wheat-free diet that I'm on. I'm not sure how much success I'll have, but I'm working on it. Mwah-ha-ha-ha. Hey, studies show that some food allergies may be genetic, so it's not just selfish motivations here (wanting everyone else to be on the same restricted diet). It could be that one of my parents suffer from the same sensitivities that I do. And JLR's already on board, so that's one down, three to go. Of course, JLR has good reasons to follow the same diet as me. For one thing, we share groceries. And for another, her health has greatly improved since giving up corn and wheat. And since neither of us could eat corn as children without getting violently ill, it makes sense that she would have problems with it now, just as I do. At least now it just takes the form of acid reflux instead of other, more uncomfortable kinds of problems.

JLR found a really, really good flourless peanut butter cookie recipe online, so we've been having a good time with that. And that might be why none of my pants fit me anymore. It's going to be interesting when I start going on interviews. I'm pretty sure all of my work clothes are a size smaller. Bother. I guess this calls for one of those exercise/eat right New Year's resolutions.

I badly need to do laundry, so today I'm dressed in the whatever's-left-over clothes. Please, no one come to the door today.

That's it for now. I hope all is well with you.

Well, boo.

Es ist kalt, y'all. Es. ist. kalt. And I just ate my last peanut butter cookie. I was going to save it for after lunch, but I was turning a corner. I still was turnin' that corner after I ate the cookie, and since the oatmeal I made for lunch wasn't ready yet, I had to grab whatever was available in the fridge, which was carrots. Carrots. Mmm.

But in other news, the thesis is almost done. Supposedly.

The Thesis

I hate it.




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Also, Wally does not recognize the end of daylight saving's time and has begun a program of plaintive, annoying meowing for his dinner every day at 3:30...right about the time the sun disappears from his napping spot on the stairs.

Well, Hi There

Dear Reader,

Hello. I haven't been posting much lately, have I? And I will tell you why. It's that darned thesis. I'm trying to graduate this semester, and I'm not sure if it's going to happen.


Morale is low.
Grooming standards are low.



Be glad you're not around right now.

Well, That's Interesting

http://shrinkster.com/12jj




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Why Not Pass the Time by Playing a Little Solitaire?

I'm waiting for a document to attach to an email I need to send to night so that I can finally go to bed. My word, so sleepy. In the meantime, allow me to tell you a little story about that cat. (No solitaire or jumping in lakes involved.)

That. Cat.

Y'all, I declare. That cat.

So, jlr and I were planning to make a lasagna to take to our grandparents tomorrow. I thought I'd get a head start on it before she got home from work by going ahead and browning the meat. So I got the meat cooked, and then, because I had noticed His Highness hanging around the kitchen in an interested way, transferred the meat to a bowl, which I covered in plastic wrap. I went upstairs for something and was up there for less than a minute when I heard a licking / lapping sound coming from downstairs.

I raced downstairs, and there he was on the counter, licking up fresh grease from the frying pan. I could not believe it. (Well, I say now that I could not believe it, but I seem to remember saying at the time something like "Aha! I knew it!") Some yelling on my part ensued, punctuated frequently with "Bad cat! You're a very bad cat!" and then he calmly sat in the dining room and cleaned the grease off his face for the next ten minutes. The next ten minutes he spent puking all over our town home. And then, of course, he wouldn't eat his dinner.

Of course.


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Avast, Me Readers! It Be That Day Again!

Ahoy! Today be one of my and jlr's (and especially jlr's) favorite days o' the year, Talk Like A Pirate Day! Aye, it be a day for celebrating all things pirate (but not all things really pirate, as real pirates be bad people deserving o' walking the plank).

Enjoy, me hearties! Be aye t' talk like a pirate t' all your buckos and mateys. Indeed, talk like a pirate t'all and sundry, and smartly!

I Was Right To Be Worried

Yesterday I noticed this big black spot on my ceiling, and I told myself, "Don't be paranoid; it's not a bug. It's just a black spot on your ceiling." And today? Not there.

And there's a spider on my wall.




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This Is What Happens When You're Lazy

See, when the Toadies broke up, I was too lazy to find out what the band members moved on to do. And thus while I've been replaying Rubberneck for thirteen years, I've been missing out on the Burden Brothers. Of course, now the Toadies have released a new album, so it's almost like I didn't need to bother with following what the individual band members have been doing in the meantime, but because I didn't bother, I missed out on this.

Yes, I know, I can still buy the album, but the point is, I could have been listening to it sooner.

But yea! New Toadies album (No Deliverance)! It drops today, y'all. Happy times.


(p.s. Thanks to John for telling jlr about the Burden Brothers.)

I See Another Cup of Coffee in My Near Future

It's only 10 AM, and I've already eaten part of my lunch.

And in other news, I recently found out that the new FOTC season isn't airing until January. Bother. And since I don't have cable, I'll have to wait even longer to see it. I'll have to wait until the second season comes out on DVD and T. buys it, then lends it to me.

And speaking of T. and FOTC, we had a good laugh about it when I gave him a lift to the train station last month. The train was running a few hours late, so we walked to a nearby bar to pass the time (him with sandwich and beer, and me with my usual glass of water). As we walked down the street on the way to the bar, T. started laughing and then moved around to walk on the outside of me.* We both had a good laugh over that one.

Guess you had to be there.




*See 6:41 through 7:03.

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Patting Myself on the Back

Y'all, jlr made a pound cake last night and left it here with me today, and I have not touched it, despite having been in the kitchen many times to ogle it, and despite my being very aware of its presence in the next room, and despite the fact that I can see the pound cake from where I'm sitting.

But the pound cake is for jlr's work, and so it remains untouched. I haven't even lifted the cover of the cake carrier to get a whiff. So proud of myself.


Also, is my air conditioner supposed to leak orange-colored, um, water? Not brown, as in rusty, but orange?


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Scary Google People

Y'all:

I was just signed in to gmail, sending a message, when at the top of my gmail page I saw an ad for on-sale Hello Kitty underwear.

And, looking around the room for the Scary Google People monitoring devices, I thought, ‘How did they know???’

Spooky.

Dear Pandora,

While we don't always get along, I do appreciate my Kinks radio station. I really do. But--speaking of not getting along--could you please stop playing the Who? Please. Stop it.

The Bike!

T. fixed my bike for me this weekend (you know, the one I acquired this day). He spent the weekend at his mom's house babysitting her cat, and he needed something to do. I myself have never felt so great a need for something to do that I would volunteer to fix someone's bike, but I guess T.'s handy like that.

Also, I think he wants someone to bike with. I have told him that I'm not getting up at 5:45 A.M. (as he does) to go for a ride. I am also not going biking when it's 100+ degrees outside. T. says it's cooler in the morning, and I reiterate that I'm not getting up at 5:45. T. also is mapping out a 14-mile ride for us. I have also repeatedly told him that I can't go 14 miles, that I am sadly out of shape. I don't think my comments are making much of a dent, though, even when I told him the story about my last bike ride. But at least his other friend G., who is similarly reluctant to take long bike rides, will probably go with us, so I won't be the only one griping about how far it is.

So, anyway, when T. called Friday afternoon to say that he was free to come over and pick up my bike, I thought, what? Company? But...but that means I have to brush my teeth. And put on deodorant. And pants. But at least my bike is getting fixed. Poor T. had to see me in my usual working-on-thesis attire (and accompanying coiffure). Not pretty.

Incident Report, July 25, 2008

1. Banged knee on desk.
2. Modem died. Again.
3. Cut finger while moving the food processor blade.
4. Mystery bruise on left knee.
5. Mystery cut on right elbow.
6. Mystery cut on right ankle.
7. Mystery cut on left knee. [When did I do all this to myself? What, did I serve as Ponyboy's backup in last night's rumble?]
8. Apparently, I acquired a tank top tan just by sitting at my window all day this summer. Sigh. I guess I need to vary my wardrobe just a little bit.

And in other news, the tramp stamp sunburn is beginning to peel.

And it itches.

Dear jlr,

Thank you for posting again. I appreciate it.


Yours,
rr

Unidentified Fruit

At dinner last night, my meal came with a lovely side of mixed fruit. Ingredients: grapes, watermelon, orange, melon, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, and...? Couldn't figure out what the last one was. I didn't eat it, just in case it was grapefruit, although D. says it wasn't. And she would know.

So what was it?

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In case you were worried I'd abandoned that annoying habit of talking about my thesis all the time

So, how’s the thesis going, rr?

I’ll tell you, gentle reader. It’s going like the following description of a recent visit to Municode.com.

Me: Wait a minute, this isn’t a list of states! This is a list of cities.
Municode: Yes, that's correct. It's a list of cities. You're brilliant.
Me: What–Abilene? Is this Texas? I didn’t click on Texas.
Municode: Yes, you did. Else I wouldn't have pulled up a list of cities in Texas.
Me: No, I clicked on Calif–oh, wait, yes I did. Oops.

[backspace]
[click on California]






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Greeeeeeeeeen Roof ! Planted.

Remember back in April when I said I got a ridiculous-looking sunburn? Remember I said I would post a picture of it later? Well, I'm finally getting around to posting it. That awful-looking sunburn has now faded to an awful-looking tan (tan by my standards).

The reason I remembered to post the picture is because I helped with some upkeep on the green roof today. We had a lot of new plants to add, so I spent an hour and a half planting on the roof of one of the science buildings. In my effort to avoid getting burned like last time, I carefully applied sunscreen to every exposed part of my body before heading up to campus. I even put sunscreen on my shoulders in case my sleeves rode up as I was planting.

So guess where I forgot to put sunscreen? My lower back. Where my t-shirt rode up as I was planting. I was so concerned about people being able to see my unmentionables that I forgot to be worried about sunburn. And I now have a huge sunburn tramp stamp. Bother.

Is it a mistake to listen to "Beethoven at Bedtime" when I'm this sleepy?

And supposed to be getting work done?


Also, does anyone else often feel compelled to pronounce it "Beethe-Oven"**?

**(And you know where I get that from, right? Right? Tell me you know where I get that from.)

Two of Wally's Favorite Activities

True to typical feline form, two of Wally's favorite activities involve bothering me.

Here, I will show you.

Staring at me (usually followed by my demanding "What? What?!" and his giving no indication as to what he actually wants but continuing to stare):


Stealing my chair:


Staring at me:

















Stealing my chair:













Staring at me while stealing my chair:

Dear Doc-uh-ments

Ye shall be copied from my hard drive and pasted onto my flash drive, and ye shall not give me any trouble about this. And ye shall not fill up my flash drive.

I mean it.

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Ich habe sleepy

Stupid brokeness, won't allow me to buy k-cups.


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Incident Report, lunch with my family last Thursday

1. My grandmother wants to set me up with her doctor. Um, no. "I know how to say it," she says, thinking, I guess, that she'll manage to convince the both of us that this is a good idea. I may have offended my grandmother by my reaction. And also by my comment that I don't want to have children.

2. Asked the waitress if the french fries were made from potato. Unable to explain that what I meant was did they make the french fries fresh, in-house, or did they have a bag of pre-cut french fries that they throw in the fryer. Laughter and eye-rolling from Dad. I'm just glad my uncle wasn't there; he already has a french fry story about me.

Ohmywordiftheneighbor'sdogdoesn'tstopbarking

Look, I love dogs, and as someone who grew up with shelties, I understand that sometimes they have days when they're a little bit barky. Or a lot barky. But on those days, if you own a barky dog, maybe you should close your windows. That's all I'm saying. Just close the windows.




On a side note, this quote from the Wikipedia article on shelties is spot-on:
"Care should be taken when using gasoline powered yard care equipment in the presence of Shelties...The strong herding instinct quickly comes into play, but subsides just as quickly as the Sheltie finds that his/her job has been done."

My parents' current sheltie tries to herd the lawn-mower when Dad is pushing it while it's not on (when it is on, she just barks at it. A lot. See earlier note about understanding that sometimes a dog gets a bit barky). She runs and runs around it in typical herding movements while Dad pushes it across the yard, but as soon as he gets it to the storage shed, the efforts to herd stop. And then she looks at us as if to say that she's very proud of herself for a job well done. I don't know, maybe you have to be there to see it, but it's hilarious. It's a lot like this, only with a lawn mower instead of sheep.

Incident Report, May 18-19, 2008

1. Banged hand on doorway

2. Mystery bruise on knee

3. Got whipped in the face by Wally’s rapidly-thwacking ears. It hurt, y’all.

4. Spilled soapy water on myself while washing dishes

5. Picked at bump on my arm until it got all red and irritated. Typical.

6. Behind on my thesis (yes, again).

7. Got whupped at Wii Tennis by my dad, and then again by my sister.

On my afternoon so far

Ich habe hunger, aber ich kann nicht essen. Or rather, I can eat, but I'm not going to eat because I’m saving my calories for dinner. *Sigh*. Dieting is even less fun than working on my thesis.

By the way, I haven’t had a German class in 12 years, so I don't guarantee that the above sentence is correct. Also, I think my thesis has become like Amy Archer’s Pulitzer. You could start making bets on whether I’ll mention it.

Pitiful

My daily food intake, per dailyplate.com.

Holy Pet Peeve Blog, Batman!

Today, I "visited" the "website" for The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and "found" a "link" to a "blog" about one of my biggest "pet peeves."

Hurray! Oh, pardon me. I meant, "Hurray!"



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If/Then Statements

If I sleep with my window open, then the lawn care guys will show up in the morning (with their obnoxiously-loud, wasteful, gas-guzzling lawn care equipment) and will use their ridiculous air blower thingy to blow leaves off my front porch, never mind the fact that I have a broom standing right there, as if to tell them “I sweep leaves off my porch on a regular basis, so there's no need to use your ridiculous air blower thingy.”

Else if I sleep with my window open, then it will rain.

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