Um...Incident Report, 3-30-2006

So Deals and I went on a bike ride tonight around the lake. It was fun. Except for when I ran in to the wall...but even that was funny.

It started with Deals having to lower the seat for me on the bike I was borrowing from her sister. Yes, her sister is shorter than me, and I still needed the seat lowered. Y'all, my feet could not touch the ground when I was on the seat. It needed to be lowered. My feet are my secondary bicycle braking system, and they're my primary bicycle braking system when I panic...which is often.

So we're going along fine except for those few times when I wobbled dangerously while attempting to brush hair off my face, or stand and bike at the same time, or go up a steep hill. Didn't fall though, which is what I was really afraid it would happen. After all, it's been about 10 to 15 years since I've ridden a bike. You know what they say about riding a bike? Not true. Oh, sure, you can still manage the balancing part, but not very well. It's like you can always remember how to ride, but if it's been too long between rides, every time you try it again, it's like when you just learned to ride.

Anyhow, we go over a bridge. It's neat. Picturesque. I can see up ahead that there's a turn. One can go left, right, or straight on in to the lake. Or rather, one would go in to the lake, except that there's a wall there. It's sort of a wall/gate mixture. I can't tell which way Deals is going to turn because Deals doesn't signal, not that I can blame her for that. At one point during the ride, I lifted my left arm off the handle bars to signal a turn and did that previously-mentioned dangerous wobbling and decided I wasn't going to risk signaling anymore. The people behind me could just take a wild guess. Which is what I was doing with Deals. 'Will she go left? Will she go right? Ah, she's going right. It's kind of a steep right. Hmm. If I turn at the speed I'm going, I will definitely fall over. Maybe I can slow down enough to come to a complete stop while missing the turn, then turn, and--nope, nope, I'm going to run in to the wall. Yep, I ran in to the wall.'

I am happy to say that the bike took most of the impact of the crash. I had a couple of scrapes on my leg, and that's it. Of course, the chain came off the bike. Deals informs me that, at this point, we are at the farthest point of the ride. Great. So she calls the Boy Toy to come pick us up while I grab a stick and try to get the chain to go back on. Yes, a stick. I don't know anything about bikes--not even how to shift the gears--and my hands were getting all kinds of greasy from the little bit I did handle the chain. The Boy Toy was at the pet food store, but he said he'd come get us. I was bummed because I really wanted to finish the ride. Then Deals merely touches the chain and it goes back on. So I felt kind of silly, yet happy at the same time, because we were able to finish the ride.

At one point the wind was blowing so hard that I. thought. I. was. not. going. to. be. able. to. make. it. I thought of that line from The Lady Eve, "They would've had to bury me at sea." Only "at lake," instead of at sea.

We finally get almost to the end when I see a rather alarming sign that reads:
HIDDEN AND STEEP CURVE AHEAD. REDUCE SPEED.

Um. Y'all know I have a problem with steep curves. I was a tad bit nervous. However, if you were looking for another incident here, you're going to be disappointed because there wasn't one. Well, except for when the Boy Toy was waiting for us at the end, and his dog wrapped its leash around Deals' legs, and she fell over. And then there wasn't much room in his vehicle after we put the bikes in it, so Deals and I had to share the front seat. With our bike helmets on, in case our heads knocked together.