Monday, August 29, 2005

Incident Report, 8/29/05

1. Spilled water on front of shirt.
2. Banged head on bathroom cabinet.
3. Tripped on flower bed border.
4. Tripped on floor plug.
5. Tripped on floor plug.
6. Tripped on floor plug. (I'm not the only one at my office who does this, by the way.)
7. Cut finger on something. Not sure what.
8. Spilled cats' water bowl...for the fourth time in as many days.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Weekend Incident Report, 8/26-8/28/2005

1. Spilled queso on pants leg.
2. Took gulp of water; most of the water missd my mouth and wound up on my face and my shirt (making, I'm sure, a great impression on the people I'd just met).
3. At mall food court, JLR accidentally squirted mayonnaise on her shirt and in her hair. This didn't happen to me, but I felt like sharing. I think it gets to count on my list because I cleaned the mayo out of her hair.
4. Also at mall, dropped slice of cookie cake (as well as the bit of cheesecake brownie JLR had given me) on the floor.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Incident Report, 8/22/2005

No major incidents to report, just my usual banging in to doors, door frames, counter tops, furniture, and protruding objects and, as usual, stepping on my own feet. Today I did bang my head on the underside of a table with three witnesses standing by. I assured them that I was fine, did not have a concussion, and suffered no real pain, being by now used to head wounds.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Mosquito Ambush

I opened my pantry a few minutes ago, and there was a mosquito, sitting on the shelf like it had been waiting for me. I swatted, missed, and closed the pantry door. A minute later, I opened the door again, and there it was. I swatted and missed again. The mosquito flew out of the pantry and is now lurking somewhere in my apartment. Makes it hard to relax.

Dadgum Bathtub

I declare, I have scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed that dadgum bathtub, and it never looks clean.

Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to reassure overnight guests that, yes, I have cleaned the tub, and, yes, it is safe to take a shower?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Someone Else's Incidents

His incidents are usually reported one at a time, but they're much worse than mine, and they make me feel so much better about myself. Just take a look at the picture of his arm displayed on the right half of his screen, for example.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Rustlin', Wranglin', and General Mayhem

Last Friday week, D. and I went on a work field trip with three other co-workers to several museums in the area. Now, I don't know that I'd pay six bucks to go back to the museum dedicated to cowpokes, but I had a great time. D. and I posed for one of those "put your face in a fake movie poster" things. It didn't go so well, but it was fun. First, D. kept trying to put bunny ears on me. (What's with the tall person picking on the average-height person? I think our boss rolled his eyes a lot.) There was also this fake bronco thing we did. They film it in front of a green screen, and they drop your picture into an old bronco ridin' scene. It's cool. The bummer part is that you have to work the fake horse yourself. D. was kind enough to let me talk her in to moving the horse for me so that it would--in theory--look like I was actually riding a horse. Didn't work. But you can download your video from the web! And I did! And now I have a video momento!

Plus, I paid $4.50 for a picture of one of the fake posters. The top part of my face is cut off in the picture, but I think it looks artsy.

At work, things are only somewhat improved. Blah. And since I've already complained about this to everyone at work (and they're tired of hearing about it), I'm telling the four people who read my blog that I'm supposed to be on vacation this week, but I have to be at work to take care of the crisis instead. Double boo.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Um, *No*

Ringwald Mulls 'Sixteen Candles' Sequel

I can only think of two ways they would write it. Either
they got married after college and now, 20 years later, they're having
problems, or they went their separate ways and run into each other now,
after 20 years. I don't want to imagine them ever having any problems.
Ever. It's supposed to be happily ever after, like a fairy tale. The end.