Monday, February 21, 2011

Incident Report, 2.21.2011

Today's post isn't so much an incident report as it is a Fatcident Report. I ate way too much. I started off the day with homemade cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. JLR and I made these last evening based on a recipe for cinnamon bread. We made 6 rolls and then a mini-bundt cake loaf with the rest. We each had two rolls last night and then ate the rest today, so I pretty much had half a loaf of bread (with frosting) for breakfast. And then for lunch, I was not hungry, but I still had half a cup (?) of rice, half a piece of mackerel, and a whole lot of greens. And *then* I wasn't hungry for dinner, but since I was meeting a friend for sushi, I ate dinner anyway. And then when I got home, I had some yaksik. Just because it was there. And now I sit here typing with my jeans unbuttoned because my stomach is uncomfortably full.


In other news...there is no other news. So here are some incidents from a couple of weeks back:

The weather has been rather icky lately. The past few days have been lovely (ah, mid-February, I love your 70-degree wonderfulness), but the early part of the month? Not good. On Tuesday of one particular week, weather conditions were bad enough that many cities in this metro area were closed for business, but not the one that employs me, so I had to go in to work on the icy roads that had not yet been sanded. It was scary. And I got to the office only to discover that half the building had decided to stay home from work. Folks, I cannot express to you how angry I was. All the employees in my department, which provides no emergency services whatsoever, felt pressured to come in, but the other departments were allowed to stay home? So. not. happy.

Anyhow, I tell you about the bad weather to lead up to a series of incidents, to wit:

So the next day, roads were a bit better, but I was delaying going into work because my car door locks had frozen. George (my car) sleeps outside, you see, not in a garage. And the awful cold was just too much for him. I could put the key in the lock, but it would not turn. I marched the 50 or 60 feet back to the house, got a lighter, went back out to try to warm up my key and then maybe warm up the inside of the lock. Lighter wouldn't stay lit in the wind. Went back inside to get a different lighter, trudged back outside. This lighter fared marginally better, but still wouldn't work to unlock the doors. Back inside to figure out what to do, and JLR said I could take her car to work. Go to work in her car. JLR texts me later to tell me she managed to get the back passenger side door unlocked. After work, sit in car with engine running trying to warm up the car enough to unlock the doors. While car is running, I take a seat in the back. Close the only unlocked door to keep out the cold air. Realize door handle is broken on the inside, and I have just trapped myself in my car, since the other doors won't unlock. Call JLR on my cell phone and ask her to let me out. After a few minutes, press the unlock button repeatedly and manage to get the other doors unlocked.

The next day, JLR needed her car, so I had to take George to work, but not to worry! We had left my car unlocked the night before, so opening the doors wouldn't be a problem. Closing them, on the hand, was another matter. Went out to car in the morning to go to work, opened front passenger side door to drop purse, lunch bag, etc., in passenger seat, swing passenger door to, and passenger door will not close. Repeated attempts to close door, with no good result. Try warming the car up and then closing the door. Nothing. Go inside house, eat breakfast, text co-workers with "I'm late again because of my car" message, work on report due the next day. Go back out to car, finally get passenger door to close, but not without the driver's side door first failing to close on the first attempt, just to mock me, I think.

So that's the kind of week I was having. Then one day the next week, we decided to bake some things. We baked a loaf of bread, which requires a humid environment in the oven, so we did our usual trick of putting a glass baking dish with ice and water in the oven while we pre-heat, to add moisture. After the bread was done, we turned up the heat to 500 degrees for the pizza I was going to make. The oven was supposed to be at 500 for at least 30 minutes before we start baking the crust. After a little while, JLR comes downstairs and says "What's that burning smell?" I wonder if I've accidentally left something in the oven, open the door, and there's the glass baking dish, all dried out and angry. I carefully remove the baking dish. And that's when I did something extra stupid. I thought, 'Oh, that dish is too dry, it's going to be ruined, I need to put moisture in it.' So I poured in some water. From the tap. Some cold water from the tap. Despite having learned in elementary school that adding a cold liquid to a hot glass container is a bad, bad idea. And the baking dish broke into many pieces.

And that's when JLR and I did something even more stupid. We immediately reached down and started cleaning up the hot, hot pieces. And then stood up and ran our hands under cold water and put neosporin on our minor burns.

So it's been like that lately.

I think I misspelled a word in this post somewhere. Just so you know.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

This is why I don't like going new places.

The other day, I discovered that near my office is a health foods store where I could buy gluten-free food. I've been driving past this place for nigh on two years and had no idea it was there. On the way back, I made a wrong turn down the street to back to the office, figured out I was going the wrong way, looped back, decide to go to The Starbucks to get a banana, turned the wrong way again, decided, oh forget it, who needs a banana, if I get desperate, I'll just eat my peanut butter by itself.

And this is why I don't like to go new places. But at least at this point in my life, I've reached an "I'll just wing it" attitude instead of my former "I'm absolutely terrified I'll get lost and never see anyone I know again" mental state.