Sunday, November 29, 2009


Last month, I went to a professional conference on the coast. The warm weather and beach view were great, as was the break from work--oh, no, wait. There was no break. I took my computer and worked in my hotel room at night. Except--there were two nights when I hung out with other professionals at the pre-arranged evening conference activities and the later trips to local bars. And I had no idea people acted that crazy when they're away from home. See, when I'd been at conferences before, I'd skipped the evening activities. But now I see what I've been missing. This appears to be the typical conference agenda:

First day:
Attend workshops all day. Go out drinking with other attendees until midnight.

Second day:
Get up in time to attend all day workshops. Go out drinking with other attendees until, oh, 1 or 2 in the morning when the bars close. Go to IHOP.

Third day:
Repeat activities from second day, except go to game room in swanky resort hotel to play shuffle board instead of going to IHOP.

Fourth day:
Improve on activities from 2nd and 3rd days by hiring a mini-bus to drive you around so you don't have to worry about drinking and driving while bar-hopping.

Y'all, I have no idea how they do it. I'm younger than most of the people I hung around with, and I hadn't a hope of participating in their, um, scheduled activities. There was no way. I stayed up with them on the 2nd and 3rd nights, and even without drinking I couldn't stay awake as long as they could.

And also, there were so many times when I wanted to say, "Does your wife know you're behaving like that?!?"

They're crazy, y'all.