Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Incident Report, lunch with my family last Thursday

1. My grandmother wants to set me up with her doctor. Um, no. "I know how to say it," she says, thinking, I guess, that she'll manage to convince the both of us that this is a good idea. I may have offended my grandmother by my reaction. And also by my comment that I don't want to have children.

2. Asked the waitress if the french fries were made from potato. Unable to explain that what I meant was did they make the french fries fresh, in-house, or did they have a bag of pre-cut french fries that they throw in the fryer. Laughter and eye-rolling from Dad. I'm just glad my uncle wasn't there; he already has a french fry story about me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Look, I love dogs, and as someone who grew up with shelties, I understand that sometimes they have days when they're a little bit barky. Or a lot barky. But on those days, if you own a barky dog, maybe you should close your windows. That's all I'm saying. Just close the windows.

On a side note, this quote from the Wikipedia article on shelties is spot-on:
"Care should be taken when using gasoline powered yard care equipment in the presence of Shelties...The strong herding instinct quickly comes into play, but subsides just as quickly as the Sheltie finds that his/her job has been done."

My parents' current sheltie tries to herd the lawn-mower when Dad is pushing it while it's not on (when it is on, she just barks at it. A lot. See earlier note about understanding that sometimes a dog gets a bit barky). She runs and runs around it in typical herding movements while Dad pushes it across the yard, but as soon as he gets it to the storage shed, the efforts to herd stop. And then she looks at us as if to say that she's very proud of herself for a job well done. I don't know, maybe you have to be there to see it, but it's hilarious. It's a lot like this, only with a lawn mower instead of sheep.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Incident Report, May 18-19, 2008

1. Banged hand on doorway

2. Mystery bruise on knee

3. Got whipped in the face by Wally’s rapidly-thwacking ears. It hurt, y’all.

4. Spilled soapy water on myself while washing dishes

5. Picked at bump on my arm until it got all red and irritated. Typical.

6. Behind on my thesis (yes, again).

7. Got whupped at Wii Tennis by my dad, and then again by my sister.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

On my afternoon so far

Ich habe hunger, aber ich kann nicht essen. Or rather, I can eat, but I'm not going to eat because I’m saving my calories for dinner. *Sigh*. Dieting is even less fun than working on my thesis.

By the way, I haven’t had a German class in 12 years, so I don't guarantee that the above sentence is correct. Also, I think my thesis has become like Amy Archer’s Pulitzer. You could start making bets on whether I’ll mention it.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Monday, May 05, 2008

Holy Pet Peeve Blog, Batman!

Today, I "visited" the "website" for The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and "found" a "link" to a "blog" about one of my biggest "pet peeves."

Hurray! Oh, pardon me. I meant, "Hurray!"


Friday, May 02, 2008

If/Then Statements

If I sleep with my window open, then the lawn care guys will show up in the morning (with their obnoxiously-loud, wasteful, gas-guzzling lawn care equipment) and will use their ridiculous air blower thingy to blow leaves off my front porch, never mind the fact that I have a broom standing right there, as if to tell them “I sweep leaves off my porch on a regular basis, so there's no need to use your ridiculous air blower thingy.”

Else if I sleep with my window open, then it will rain.