Incident Report, lunch with my family last Thursday

1. My grandmother wants to set me up with her doctor. Um, no. "I know how to say it," she says, thinking, I guess, that she'll manage to convince the both of us that this is a good idea. I may have offended my grandmother by my reaction. And also by my comment that I don't want to have children.

2. Asked the waitress if the french fries were made from potato. Unable to explain that what I meant was did they make the french fries fresh, in-house, or did they have a bag of pre-cut french fries that they throw in the fryer. Laughter and eye-rolling from Dad. I'm just glad my uncle wasn't there; he already has a french fry story about me.

Ohmywordiftheneighbor'sdogdoesn'tstopbarking

Look, I love dogs, and as someone who grew up with shelties, I understand that sometimes they have days when they're a little bit barky. Or a lot barky. But on those days, if you own a barky dog, maybe you should close your windows. That's all I'm saying. Just close the windows.




On a side note, this quote from the Wikipedia article on shelties is spot-on:
"Care should be taken when using gasoline powered yard care equipment in the presence of Shelties...The strong herding instinct quickly comes into play, but subsides just as quickly as the Sheltie finds that his/her job has been done."

My parents' current sheltie tries to herd the lawn-mower when Dad is pushing it while it's not on (when it is on, she just barks at it. A lot. See earlier note about understanding that sometimes a dog gets a bit barky). She runs and runs around it in typical herding movements while Dad pushes it across the yard, but as soon as he gets it to the storage shed, the efforts to herd stop. And then she looks at us as if to say that she's very proud of herself for a job well done. I don't know, maybe you have to be there to see it, but it's hilarious. It's a lot like this, only with a lawn mower instead of sheep.

Incident Report, May 18-19, 2008

1. Banged hand on doorway

2. Mystery bruise on knee

3. Got whipped in the face by Wally’s rapidly-thwacking ears. It hurt, y’all.

4. Spilled soapy water on myself while washing dishes

5. Picked at bump on my arm until it got all red and irritated. Typical.

6. Behind on my thesis (yes, again).

7. Got whupped at Wii Tennis by my dad, and then again by my sister.

On my afternoon so far

Ich habe hunger, aber ich kann nicht essen. Or rather, I can eat, but I'm not going to eat because I’m saving my calories for dinner. *Sigh*. Dieting is even less fun than working on my thesis.

By the way, I haven’t had a German class in 12 years, so I don't guarantee that the above sentence is correct. Also, I think my thesis has become like Amy Archer’s Pulitzer. You could start making bets on whether I’ll mention it.

Pitiful

My daily food intake, per dailyplate.com.

Holy Pet Peeve Blog, Batman!

Today, I "visited" the "website" for The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and "found" a "link" to a "blog" about one of my biggest "pet peeves."

Hurray! Oh, pardon me. I meant, "Hurray!"



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If/Then Statements

If I sleep with my window open, then the lawn care guys will show up in the morning (with their obnoxiously-loud, wasteful, gas-guzzling lawn care equipment) and will use their ridiculous air blower thingy to blow leaves off my front porch, never mind the fact that I have a broom standing right there, as if to tell them “I sweep leaves off my porch on a regular basis, so there's no need to use your ridiculous air blower thingy.”

Else if I sleep with my window open, then it will rain.

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Bad Wally

We do not chew on my foot, Wally. We do not.





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Incident Report, Week of April 11 - April 18

1. Got a ridiculous-looking sunburn (photo to be provided at a later date)

2. When pulling up covers in bed, punched self in face. It hurt, y'all.

3. Spilled milk on shirt.

4. Attended faculty meeting as student representative on the dean search committee. Faculty asked my opinion on a matter to which I hadn't yet given much thought (but ought to have done). Looked like unprepared idiot in front of entire faculty.


Update, 4-29-08: Ridiculous-looking sunburn has faded to a ridiculous-looking tan. Boo.

Speck of Dust, Dust, Dust

This one's for you, Hils!






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Plants, Day 6

It's been six days since jlr and I added plants to our patio, and, y'all, they are still alive. That's right. Still alive. I've even watered them twice.

I don't want to be too optimistic, but we're off to a good start this year.

Also, I made some truly terrible coffee this morning, but that's another story.

Incident report, since this past weekend

1. Knocked sticky notes off of desk.
2. Dropped cell phone.
3. Knocked over bottle of saline solution.
4. Hit head on lamp post.
5. Literally ran into friend while shopping. Twice.
6. Accidentally punched fellow shopper in the arm.
7. Spilled baby food all over pants leg while giving medicine to Wally (not my fault! He did it!)
8. Spilled unknown substance (probably frosting) on jeans.

New Language Setting

I'm just trying it for a short while, 'tay-'tay? Then we'll be back to French as usual. Pomise.





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I'm remembering now that my advisor said she spent a lot of time baking during this same point in her life

I'm for real going to work on my paper now, y'all. For real.




And by "my paper," I mean "my thesis."



(Don't panic! Don't panic!)

More on Being Ill; and Also, Some Incidents

If you’ve read Impatientchicken lately, you know that I’ve been ill. I’m blessed with a hearty constitution—isn’t that how they used to put it—and don’t get sick very often. This means, of course, that when I do get sick, I become rather mopey and sad and, basically, unable to cope with doing anything more than feeling sorry for myself. I have therefore been avoiding posting to my blog.

See how I always have an excuse for not posting more often?

Anyhow, since jlr and I have both been ill, I’ve been amused at our mutual attempts to boss the other one around. When one of us is ill, the other one shifts into Bossy Nurse mode, becoming rather like the person Anne Cattrell described when she said, “I saw her on The World at War, and she wasn’t fighting for the Allies.” When jlr and I are both ill, then, it becomes a contest about who does a better job of insisting that the other one is more ill and therefore in need of more care (and thus more bossing around). I’ll admit that jlr had the upper hand at first because she didn’t get sick as soon as I did. I’ll also admit to standing in my closet with the door closed to take my temperature because I suspected that my fever had not gone away (it hadn’t), and I didn’t want jlr to know about it—and if she had heard the thermometer beeping, she would have demanded to know what my temperature was. Soon, however, the tables turned. As I got better, jlr’s cold grew worse. I think she might have had a bit of an infection. Might still have, in fact. So now I’m waiting for her to get home so I can boss her around some more. She didn’t go to bed early enough last night. I’ll have to do a better job of monitoring her tonight. I’ve kind of slacked off lately. Bad, rr, bad.

And for those of you who miss the incident reports, I’ll tell you that I hit myself in the head with the phone the other day. It hurt...and it made me mad at the phone. I did have an incident report list going, but I can’t find it. Here are two things, though, that I remember from the list:

1. Tripped over Wally. Did not spill tea!

2. Tripped on phone cord. Spilled tea.

Tell Jocelyn, Got Me, Too

I might have finally caught that winter-time cold I've been dodging for months. Boo! Boo, I say!

Of course, I might just be tired and will wake up tomorrow feeling much better. Let us hope.


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As If I Didn't Already Have Enough Ways to Waste My Time

Lately, I've been watching a lot of programs on the Internet. For example, I've been watching Full House. No, not that Full House. This Full House. And also, jlr and I have been enjoying Overboard. No, not that Overboard. This Overboard.

And also, as if they've tapped into my brain and figured out what I think has been missing from Internet-available television, there's now this (Book 'em, Dano!).


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I Need to Vacuum

Wally just ate something off the floor.

"What are you eating?" I asked him. "Drop it! Drop it right now!"

He just chewed faster.

"WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" I asked again.

He swallowed.

"What?" he meowed, all attiduninally.


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Word Games

The word verification for a comment I posted to someone's blog today was "misjue." I was uber pleased, y'all; it's so very Mad Gabs.

As in, "Oh, Tanya, we misjue at the picnic last week. I wish you could have been there."


Eggs sell lent.

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Dear Fruit,

You're wonderful, and I love you.

Faithfully yours,
RR