Conference

Last month, I went to a professional conference on the coast. The warm weather and beach view were great, as was the break from work--oh, no, wait. There was no break. I took my computer and worked in my hotel room at night. Except--there were two nights when I hung out with other professionals at the pre-arranged evening conference activities and the later trips to local bars. And I had no idea people acted that crazy when they're away from home. See, when I'd been at conferences before, I'd skipped the evening activities. But now I see what I've been missing. This appears to be the typical conference agenda:

First day:
Attend workshops all day. Go out drinking with other attendees until midnight.

Second day:
Get up in time to attend all day workshops. Go out drinking with other attendees until, oh, 1 or 2 in the morning when the bars close. Go to IHOP.

Third day:
Repeat activities from second day, except go to game room in swanky resort hotel to play shuffle board instead of going to IHOP.

Fourth day:
Improve on activities from 2nd and 3rd days by hiring a mini-bus to drive you around so you don't have to worry about drinking and driving while bar-hopping.

Y'all, I have no idea how they do it. I'm younger than most of the people I hung around with, and I hadn't a hope of participating in their, um, scheduled activities. There was no way. I stayed up with them on the 2nd and 3rd nights, and even without drinking I couldn't stay awake as long as they could.

And also, there were so many times when I wanted to say, "Does your wife know you're behaving like that?!?"

They're crazy, y'all.


*

I wish I could work on a project with Danica McKellar...

...because then I'd have a finite Erdős-Bacon number.



*

Yum!

Tonight, JLR made a delicious tomato basil soup, totally from scratch. Well, she did use a wee smidge of leftover tomato sauce. But she also chopped and cooked down fresh tomatoes, she added the right amount of seasoning, she figured out how much other stuff to throw in to thicken it and make it taste good, grain-free and impatientbee-and-impatientchicken-allergen-free. And oh, how it does taste good!

Good job, JLR!


(This is a noteworthy accomplishment because neither JLR nor I are good at cooking. Our list of failures is much, much longer than our list of successes.)
*

It Be The 19th, And Ye Know What Day That Do Be.

TLAPD

Dear ArcMap,

I appreciate your working with me on georeferencing our zoning map, I really do. I just wish--and don't take offense and stop working--I do wish that it hadn't taken all day for this to happen. All day and part of my evening.

Oh, it's the computer's fault you say? But it runs my other programs just fine. Not that I'm accusing you of causing problems! Please don't stop working.

*******

In other news, the co-workers have been commenting on the state of my office. In particular, they have been commenting on the barrenness of the walls. Yes, the walls probably would look better if I put up pictures or something, but I don't like to personalize my work space too much. I'm going to have to do something, though, just so that my co-workers won't think I'm strange. Also, one of the city council members said my office looked like a bureaucrat's office.



*

Watermelon, I Love You

I ate a pound of watermelon today. I know this not only because the package said it contained a pound of this yummy, sweet, watery treat but also because I weighed myself before and after eating the watermelon.

If I had had more, I would have eaten it.



*

Ha Ha, You Will Not Compress My Old Files!

God bless those folks over at Halff. They’re happy to answer my GIS questions as best they can. I say “as best they can” not to disparage their ability to use GIS but rather to indicate the number of GIS-related issues I’ve been having that don’t seem to have an obvious solution. You know the kind; you explain the problem to the tech people, they offer a solution, you tell them you’ve already tried that (many times), and they say, “Huh. That should have worked.”

Anyway, so I’ve been having some computer-ish problems. And this only serves to remind me that I’ve already reached that stage in life when new technologies (or updates to old ones) leave one completely baffled. For instance, on Facebook, I cannot figure out how to figure out what groups I’m in.

This is me on Facebook (see red part of the pie chart):



(Thank you, GraphJam). [http://graphjam.com/page/7/]

My point in saying all this is that just now, when I ran a Disk Cleanup, I refused to let the computer compress my old files. I’m sure this would help my computer a lot, but somehow, it just seems like it would mess up my files, that somehow my files will be lower in quality. I know this is unreasonable, but I can’t help feeling that way, and so no, thank you, do not compress my old files, Computer. I saw that you checked that little box to compress them, but I’m unchecking it. Oh, yes.

Incident Report, 08.11.09

1. Spilled coffee on my pants.
2. Spilled coffee on my shirt and pants.
3. Left out a few words from a legal notice for a public hearing, and now we have to re-run the ad ($) and postpone the hearing. I think the notice was still good, but my supervisor disagrees, and so I had to make the "I'm sorry we can't hear your case yet" phone call to the applicant. All this after our finance director explicitly told all departments they need to be extra careful about sticking to their projected expenditures for the rest of the fiscal year.
4. Was really excited to find an elementary school classmate on Facebook and added him to my friends list, only to discover after reading his profile and wall postings that we have just as little in common now as we did 12 years ago, and maybe reconnecting wasn't a good idea after all. Could be awkward. His status messages all seem to be about partying, drinking, and Prodigy, and my status messages do not. (But I used to think one of the guys from Prodigy was cute; does that count for something?)
5. Hit self in face with windshield sun blocker thing, hope none of my co-workers saw it.

But at least I didn't fall down, right?

You Keep Forgetting I'm New

A slight problem at work, I think my superiors keep forgetting that I’m new. Not just new to this city, but new to the planning profession in general. Several times lately, we’ve been in meetings about important projects, and someone looks at me and says, “Have you done the such-and-such yet?”

Blink. Blink-blink-blink-blink.

Oh, was I supposed to do that, then?

I didn’t know that. Because I’m new…to everything .


Another work issue:
I’ve had to listen to tapes of myself speaking at meetings, and I’ve noticed a disturbing speech pattern of mine in these situations.

It goes like this:
Normal speed, normal speed, normal speed, really…slow…at…end…of…sen…tence.

Example:
“Item n, the Commission agreed to recommend adopting language similar to that used in [other city] concerning the screening of compressors, and we should meet with [gas company] to get more information on this top…ic. And then you’re approving the language suggested by staff concerning noise levels. All we have from [the gas company] is what we gave…to…you. Concerning the screening of compressors, I have a suggestion there, borrowed from [other city], and this would be added to the proposed section a…bove.”

It doesn’t happen with every sentence, but it does happen often enough to be noticeable. Bother.

Also, I almost fell out of chair yesterday. This was at home, so only JLR saw me.


*

Good job, Masterpiece Mystery. You totally screwed up again.

Why, why , WHY did I spend an hour and a half of my precious little free time watching that horrible excuse for an Agatha Christie?

And will Masterpiece Mystery ever get it right? Ever?

I beginning to doubt it. I don't think I will be watching anymore of their Christie adaptations. They've messed it up too many times now.




Is it too much to ask that they at least pretend to keep the same plot? Or characters? Or motives?

*

No Incidents Lately

Hello. There have been no incidents to report lately. There have been several misses, several almost-run-in-to-wall moments and similar moments, but nothing major to report. Well, that's not true. The other day I was shaking my spill-proof (I thought) drink container, and green tea came splashing out. I don't think I spilled anyway--no, wait. I did spill on myself. Okay, so there has been one incident.

Also, I keep accidentally choosing "print" instead of "print selection" at work so that instead of printing a 2-page excerpt from the city code, I print an entire chapter. So now I have several complete copies of the planning and zoning code in a desk drawer at work. But other than that, everything has been incident-free, really.

And that's because JLR is having all of the incidents. I declare, that woman has spilled more and dropped more in the past couple of weeks than I've seen happen to one person in a long time. While I hope it gets better for her, I hope that when it does get better, she doesn't pass it back to me.

Gee, I can’t wait to graduate and not have to do so much research...oh. Never mind.

This is what I get for saying so often that research was the part of school I liked the most. I should have told everyone that hanging out with friends at the coffee place was what I liked best about school.

Hi. At my new-ish job, we’re revising several of our ordinances. To prepare for ordinance revisions, one does a bit of research on issues, possible ways to address said issues, how other cities have changed their ordinances, and possible additional problems that may stem from trying to address the original problems though ordinances. Only as it turns out, it’s not just a bit of research; it’s a lot of research. It’s a lot of working until midnight, with just a break for dinner and shower.

I like having a real planning job, and I like my co-workers; I just wish I had a wee smidgen of free time.

And if you’re wondering why I’ve been posting even less frequently than usual, this is why.

In other news, I embarrassed myself in front of one of our city council members by demonstrating my complete lack of mathematical ability. He said he gets to the gym at 4:30 in the morning (I know!) and is still there at 7:30 when another council member gets there.

Me: I don’t know what I’d do at the gym for 4 hours.

Him: It’s 3 hours.

Great.

I had to present our strategic plan to the city council last week, and the city manager told me to take about 45 minutes. It took me 4 minutes. I was debating inwardly about whether I should try to stretch it out some more, you know, maybe read every page of the plan to them, when I looked around the council chambers and noticed one of the council members sorting his mail, paying his bills. And then I wasn’t so worried about taking up their time. To be fair to him, they had all read the strategic plan before, there was nothing new—and it made me feel much better about being 41 minutes short of material.

Also, minor incident report: I was using the work-issued headphones to transcribe minutes from the Planning & Zoning Commission, and used only one hand to yank the headphones off my head. What I didn’t realize is that the metal earpiece/headband part is attached to the cord by a magnet…and when I yanked the cord too hard, the metal earpiece snapped back onto my head.

And that’s me lately.

I hereby heartily agree with JLR's post

And then some.





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In the Language of I Can Has Cheezburger,

I has a job.

And thus I has a happy.


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On Getting Older

JLR and I bought a 10x mirror this weekend. It was time.

*Sigh*.



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Chew, Chew, Chew Your Food

Dear RR,

This is a note from Your Esophagus. Please note that all food must be chewed quite thoroughly before swallowing. Any food not thoroughly chewed before swallowing will be rejected and returned to you. While we understand that you are sometimes in a hurry to eat, it is our policy not to make exceptions to this rule. This policy is clearly stated in our handbook. Please note that this policy was not set by us, Your Esophagus, but was put in place by our governing institution, Eosinophilic Esophagitis, and cannot be changed by us.

Sincerely,
Your Esophagus

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I'm Not Getting Sick

I've made up my mind. I've made up my mind, and I'm not getting sick. So there, lurking illness.

In other news, still don't have a job, but the volunteer work is keeping me plenty busy. I'm involved in three projects right now, and one of them might even pay me a little bit. Not much, but it should buy groceries for a week--meaning I don't have to take grocery money out of my savings. Hurray!

As it turns out, there are plenty of planning jobs in the area, but they're all for people with experience...hence the volunteer work. I've got to do something to get real world experience on the resume. The work I'm doing may not pay, but it's worth a lot to be able to put it on the ol' c.v.

Last Saturday, went to a friend's birthday party at a local restaurant. The food was good, the company was entertaining, the restaurant's bathroom was great, the shoes were un.comfortable. The group went out dancing after dinner, but JLR and I had to check out of the party. Why do pretty shoes hurt so much? That's it, I said. I'm saving up for some Cole Haan Nike Air. I bet we wouldn't have had to go home if I'd been wearing these: http://shrinkster.com/14yu

By golly.

-
P.S. If you know of anyone who has worn Cole Haan Nike Air shoes and can say whether they really are as comfortable as they're supposed to be, please do let me know.

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One Day When I Was Bored

That's candle wax, mes amis.

Not bad, what?

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-

Any idea how often I'm supposed to take this?

It's not quite clear to me.



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A Note about "The Unconcious Witness"

Let me tell you something about this book. Or more specifically, something about the cover of this book. Did you look at the picture? Did you take a good look at it?

Now, I like hardboiled detective fiction, so although I found the cover a bit cheesy, it did not deter me from reading the book. I'd been meaning to read a Dr. Thorndyke story since reading Partners in Crime, so while I wasn't expecting any incidents in the book to match the scene depicted on the cover, what did I know? I'd never read anything from the series.

But as it turns out, I did know.

I draw your attention again to the cover.

Among the characters in the story are a man and a blonde woman. That's about where the cover's relation to the story ends. At no point in the story does anyone wear an evening gown. At no point does the protagonist --or any other character--wear a tuxedo. At no point in the story does a woman faint. At no point does the protagonist--or anyone else--wield a gun.

This begs the question for the illustrators--what story did they read?



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What the--is THAT what I look like these days?

I freely admit that since I stopped taking classes to focus on my thesis, I kind of let myself go. This trend was not reversed when I finished the thesis, graduated, and began my job search. I stopped exercising. I stopped ironing my clothes or taking the trouble to put on clothes that matched (unless I planned to leave the house, which was not often). I haven't had a hair cut in I don't know how long. But I have nevertheless maintained some standards...or so I thought.
Today, I glanced in the mirror before heading out the door to a meeting. To my horror, I noticed that my eyebrows have taken on an appallingly unattractive pattern. While I've been sure to stave off the monobrow, and while I've remembered to tweeze the hairs growing under the main brow line, I've totally neglected the hairs growing to the upper ends of my brows. In other words, I looked vaguely like that guy from the Hudsucker Proxy ("He didn't look unhappy..."). As usual, I was running behind schedule, and I had no time to dash upstairs and remove or trim the offending eyebrow hairs. All I could do was slick the hairs down as best I could and hope that no one would notice.




In other news, here are the latest incidents:
1) In trying to scoop out the pit from an avocado, I accidentally sent it shooting across the counter and onto the floor, where it landed in the pitcher I use to water the plants.
2) Tried to make mung bean/broad bean noodles for the first time the other day. Thought instructions said to cut into pieces, then soak for ten minutes. Cutting the noodles was like trying to cut fishing wire, and I sent pieces of noodle flying all over the kitchen. After cutting noodles, looked at package for cooking instructions and realized that the instructions were to soak the noodles for ten minutes, and then cut them...when they're softer.
3) Have started eating persimmons, but wasn't sure which parts were edible. Read online description of fruit that said it could be eaten like an apple. Have been slicing and eating them, skin and all. Read today that the skin is definitely not to be eaten.
4) Forgot to take coffee grounds I've been saving to friend who composts. Coffee grounds now growing mold but can't bring myself to throw them out. Would put them in own small compost bin, but the neglected compost is now growing seedlings, and I can't bring myself to disturb them.
5) Landlord is giving us a new refrigerator and oven this weekend, which means I have to clean the refrigerator and oven in the next two days. More importantly, when they move the fridge, they'll see the piece of chicken bone I accidentally shot behind the fridge when I was chopping chicken bones for stock.
6) Mystery cuts on fingers of right hand. Am afraid they're the result of having old lady easily-cut dry hands.
7) Blood blister on left pinky toe from stubbing foot on banister.

Legume Day, My Favorite!

Must. get. motivated. to. find. job.

The rational side of me realizes that the contents of my savings account are rapidly disappearing. The used-to-student-loans-coming-in side of me says, "What's the big deal? You'll get another check in a week or so. Right? Right?!?"

Anyway, in other news, JLR and I are on a rotation diet in an effort to avoid developing sensitivities to other foods. So if we eat something from one food family on Monday, we don't eat it again until Friday. We're doing this mainly because we our diet had been consisting of legumes, fruit, oats, and rice. Since oats and rice are both in the same plant family as wheat (to which I already have a sensitivity), and since JLR has already demonstrated an allergic reaction (we think that's what it was) to eating too much peanut butter (legumes) over a short period of time, a rotation diet seems a good idea. I won't tell you what happened, since it's her story, but it had never happened to JLR before and hasn't happened since. And that's a good thing. Nothing gross--just midly frightening.

Today is legume diet. It is our favorite. Today, we may have: black bean soup; hummus; cannellini dip; peanut butter cookies; green beans; black eyes peas; or any other member of the much-beloved-by-us plant family. It's hard not to think about food all day when it's legume day. Or Lara Bar Day. Yum, lara bars...I've been thinking about food all day.

Sad. *Sigh*.

Last Post of 2008

Hi, folks! Let's see, what's been going on with me lately...

I finished the thesis. I graduated. I only recently started looking for a job, so needless to say, I do not have a job yet. ["Don't panic! Don't panic!"]

There have been very few incidents lately. The other day I missed the last step coming down the stairs, but the wall was there to hold me up, so no physical injuries. Just surprise. A few minutes later, I knocked over our space heater, and it hasn't sounded quite the same since. I'm a little afraid of it now, to tell you the truth.

I recently remembered that I have eosinophilic esophagitis, not just food allergies, so maybe I shouldn't be eating the foods I'm not supposed to have. I have a very mild case of EE, though. I think if I had a bad case of it, there's no way I would have forgotten I had it. I've read stories of other people who have it, and wow, I just thank God my case is so mild.

Wally is just fine. His digestive issues might be getting under control now that he's on Pepcid AC, which we have to try to sneak into his food. That cat. I declare.

I have a plan to slowly get my family to go on the same corn-free, wheat-free diet that I'm on. I'm not sure how much success I'll have, but I'm working on it. Mwah-ha-ha-ha. Hey, studies show that some food allergies may be genetic, so it's not just selfish motivations here (wanting everyone else to be on the same restricted diet). It could be that one of my parents suffer from the same sensitivities that I do. And JLR's already on board, so that's one down, three to go. Of course, JLR has good reasons to follow the same diet as me. For one thing, we share groceries. And for another, her health has greatly improved since giving up corn and wheat. And since neither of us could eat corn as children without getting violently ill, it makes sense that she would have problems with it now, just as I do. At least now it just takes the form of acid reflux instead of other, more uncomfortable kinds of problems.

JLR found a really, really good flourless peanut butter cookie recipe online, so we've been having a good time with that. And that might be why none of my pants fit me anymore. It's going to be interesting when I start going on interviews. I'm pretty sure all of my work clothes are a size smaller. Bother. I guess this calls for one of those exercise/eat right New Year's resolutions.

I badly need to do laundry, so today I'm dressed in the whatever's-left-over clothes. Please, no one come to the door today.

That's it for now. I hope all is well with you.

Well, boo.

Es ist kalt, y'all. Es. ist. kalt. And I just ate my last peanut butter cookie. I was going to save it for after lunch, but I was turning a corner. I still was turnin' that corner after I ate the cookie, and since the oatmeal I made for lunch wasn't ready yet, I had to grab whatever was available in the fridge, which was carrots. Carrots. Mmm.

But in other news, the thesis is almost done. Supposedly.

The Thesis

I hate it.




-

Also, Wally does not recognize the end of daylight saving's time and has begun a program of plaintive, annoying meowing for his dinner every day at 3:30...right about the time the sun disappears from his napping spot on the stairs.

Well, Hi There

Dear Reader,

Hello. I haven't been posting much lately, have I? And I will tell you why. It's that darned thesis. I'm trying to graduate this semester, and I'm not sure if it's going to happen.


Morale is low.
Grooming standards are low.



Be glad you're not around right now.

Well, That's Interesting

http://shrinkster.com/12jj




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Why Not Pass the Time by Playing a Little Solitaire?

I'm waiting for a document to attach to an email I need to send to night so that I can finally go to bed. My word, so sleepy. In the meantime, allow me to tell you a little story about that cat. (No solitaire or jumping in lakes involved.)

That. Cat.

Y'all, I declare. That cat.

So, jlr and I were planning to make a lasagna to take to our grandparents tomorrow. I thought I'd get a head start on it before she got home from work by going ahead and browning the meat. So I got the meat cooked, and then, because I had noticed His Highness hanging around the kitchen in an interested way, transferred the meat to a bowl, which I covered in plastic wrap. I went upstairs for something and was up there for less than a minute when I heard a licking / lapping sound coming from downstairs.

I raced downstairs, and there he was on the counter, licking up fresh grease from the frying pan. I could not believe it. (Well, I say now that I could not believe it, but I seem to remember saying at the time something like "Aha! I knew it!") Some yelling on my part ensued, punctuated frequently with "Bad cat! You're a very bad cat!" and then he calmly sat in the dining room and cleaned the grease off his face for the next ten minutes. The next ten minutes he spent puking all over our town home. And then, of course, he wouldn't eat his dinner.

Of course.


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Avast, Me Readers! It Be That Day Again!

Ahoy! Today be one of my and jlr's (and especially jlr's) favorite days o' the year, Talk Like A Pirate Day! Aye, it be a day for celebrating all things pirate (but not all things really pirate, as real pirates be bad people deserving o' walking the plank).

Enjoy, me hearties! Be aye t' talk like a pirate t' all your buckos and mateys. Indeed, talk like a pirate t'all and sundry, and smartly!

I Was Right To Be Worried

Yesterday I noticed this big black spot on my ceiling, and I told myself, "Don't be paranoid; it's not a bug. It's just a black spot on your ceiling." And today? Not there.

And there's a spider on my wall.




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This Is What Happens When You're Lazy

See, when the Toadies broke up, I was too lazy to find out what the band members moved on to do. And thus while I've been replaying Rubberneck for thirteen years, I've been missing out on the Burden Brothers. Of course, now the Toadies have released a new album, so it's almost like I didn't need to bother with following what the individual band members have been doing in the meantime, but because I didn't bother, I missed out on this.

Yes, I know, I can still buy the album, but the point is, I could have been listening to it sooner.

But yea! New Toadies album (No Deliverance)! It drops today, y'all. Happy times.


(p.s. Thanks to John for telling jlr about the Burden Brothers.)

I See Another Cup of Coffee in My Near Future

It's only 10 AM, and I've already eaten part of my lunch.

And in other news, I recently found out that the new FOTC season isn't airing until January. Bother. And since I don't have cable, I'll have to wait even longer to see it. I'll have to wait until the second season comes out on DVD and T. buys it, then lends it to me.

And speaking of T. and FOTC, we had a good laugh about it when I gave him a lift to the train station last month. The train was running a few hours late, so we walked to a nearby bar to pass the time (him with sandwich and beer, and me with my usual glass of water). As we walked down the street on the way to the bar, T. started laughing and then moved around to walk on the outside of me.* We both had a good laugh over that one.

Guess you had to be there.




*See 6:41 through 7:03.

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Patting Myself on the Back

Y'all, jlr made a pound cake last night and left it here with me today, and I have not touched it, despite having been in the kitchen many times to ogle it, and despite my being very aware of its presence in the next room, and despite the fact that I can see the pound cake from where I'm sitting.

But the pound cake is for jlr's work, and so it remains untouched. I haven't even lifted the cover of the cake carrier to get a whiff. So proud of myself.


Also, is my air conditioner supposed to leak orange-colored, um, water? Not brown, as in rusty, but orange?


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Scary Google People

Y'all:

I was just signed in to gmail, sending a message, when at the top of my gmail page I saw an ad for on-sale Hello Kitty underwear.

And, looking around the room for the Scary Google People monitoring devices, I thought, ‘How did they know???’

Spooky.

Dear Pandora,

While we don't always get along, I do appreciate my Kinks radio station. I really do. But--speaking of not getting along--could you please stop playing the Who? Please. Stop it.

The Bike!

T. fixed my bike for me this weekend (you know, the one I acquired this day). He spent the weekend at his mom's house babysitting her cat, and he needed something to do. I myself have never felt so great a need for something to do that I would volunteer to fix someone's bike, but I guess T.'s handy like that.

Also, I think he wants someone to bike with. I have told him that I'm not getting up at 5:45 A.M. (as he does) to go for a ride. I am also not going biking when it's 100+ degrees outside. T. says it's cooler in the morning, and I reiterate that I'm not getting up at 5:45. T. also is mapping out a 14-mile ride for us. I have also repeatedly told him that I can't go 14 miles, that I am sadly out of shape. I don't think my comments are making much of a dent, though, even when I told him the story about my last bike ride. But at least his other friend G., who is similarly reluctant to take long bike rides, will probably go with us, so I won't be the only one griping about how far it is.

So, anyway, when T. called Friday afternoon to say that he was free to come over and pick up my bike, I thought, what? Company? But...but that means I have to brush my teeth. And put on deodorant. And pants. But at least my bike is getting fixed. Poor T. had to see me in my usual working-on-thesis attire (and accompanying coiffure). Not pretty.

Incident Report, July 25, 2008

1. Banged knee on desk.
2. Modem died. Again.
3. Cut finger while moving the food processor blade.
4. Mystery bruise on left knee.
5. Mystery cut on right elbow.
6. Mystery cut on right ankle.
7. Mystery cut on left knee. [When did I do all this to myself? What, did I serve as Ponyboy's backup in last night's rumble?]
8. Apparently, I acquired a tank top tan just by sitting at my window all day this summer. Sigh. I guess I need to vary my wardrobe just a little bit.

And in other news, the tramp stamp sunburn is beginning to peel.

And it itches.

Dear jlr,

Thank you for posting again. I appreciate it.


Yours,
rr

Unidentified Fruit

At dinner last night, my meal came with a lovely side of mixed fruit. Ingredients: grapes, watermelon, orange, melon, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, and...? Couldn't figure out what the last one was. I didn't eat it, just in case it was grapefruit, although D. says it wasn't. And she would know.

So what was it?

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In case you were worried I'd abandoned that annoying habit of talking about my thesis all the time

So, how’s the thesis going, rr?

I’ll tell you, gentle reader. It’s going like the following description of a recent visit to Municode.com.

Me: Wait a minute, this isn’t a list of states! This is a list of cities.
Municode: Yes, that's correct. It's a list of cities. You're brilliant.
Me: What–Abilene? Is this Texas? I didn’t click on Texas.
Municode: Yes, you did. Else I wouldn't have pulled up a list of cities in Texas.
Me: No, I clicked on Calif–oh, wait, yes I did. Oops.

[backspace]
[click on California]






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Greeeeeeeeeen Roof ! Planted.

Remember back in April when I said I got a ridiculous-looking sunburn? Remember I said I would post a picture of it later? Well, I'm finally getting around to posting it. That awful-looking sunburn has now faded to an awful-looking tan (tan by my standards).

The reason I remembered to post the picture is because I helped with some upkeep on the green roof today. We had a lot of new plants to add, so I spent an hour and a half planting on the roof of one of the science buildings. In my effort to avoid getting burned like last time, I carefully applied sunscreen to every exposed part of my body before heading up to campus. I even put sunscreen on my shoulders in case my sleeves rode up as I was planting.

So guess where I forgot to put sunscreen? My lower back. Where my t-shirt rode up as I was planting. I was so concerned about people being able to see my unmentionables that I forgot to be worried about sunburn. And I now have a huge sunburn tramp stamp. Bother.

Is it a mistake to listen to "Beethoven at Bedtime" when I'm this sleepy?

And supposed to be getting work done?


Also, does anyone else often feel compelled to pronounce it "Beethe-Oven"**?

**(And you know where I get that from, right? Right? Tell me you know where I get that from.)

Two of Wally's Favorite Activities

True to typical feline form, two of Wally's favorite activities involve bothering me.

Here, I will show you.

Staring at me (usually followed by my demanding "What? What?!" and his giving no indication as to what he actually wants but continuing to stare):


Stealing my chair:


Staring at me:

















Stealing my chair:













Staring at me while stealing my chair:

Dear Doc-uh-ments

Ye shall be copied from my hard drive and pasted onto my flash drive, and ye shall not give me any trouble about this. And ye shall not fill up my flash drive.

I mean it.

-

Ich habe sleepy

Stupid brokeness, won't allow me to buy k-cups.


-

Incident Report, lunch with my family last Thursday

1. My grandmother wants to set me up with her doctor. Um, no. "I know how to say it," she says, thinking, I guess, that she'll manage to convince the both of us that this is a good idea. I may have offended my grandmother by my reaction. And also by my comment that I don't want to have children.

2. Asked the waitress if the french fries were made from potato. Unable to explain that what I meant was did they make the french fries fresh, in-house, or did they have a bag of pre-cut french fries that they throw in the fryer. Laughter and eye-rolling from Dad. I'm just glad my uncle wasn't there; he already has a french fry story about me.

Ohmywordiftheneighbor'sdogdoesn'tstopbarking

Look, I love dogs, and as someone who grew up with shelties, I understand that sometimes they have days when they're a little bit barky. Or a lot barky. But on those days, if you own a barky dog, maybe you should close your windows. That's all I'm saying. Just close the windows.




On a side note, this quote from the Wikipedia article on shelties is spot-on:
"Care should be taken when using gasoline powered yard care equipment in the presence of Shelties...The strong herding instinct quickly comes into play, but subsides just as quickly as the Sheltie finds that his/her job has been done."

My parents' current sheltie tries to herd the lawn-mower when Dad is pushing it while it's not on (when it is on, she just barks at it. A lot. See earlier note about understanding that sometimes a dog gets a bit barky). She runs and runs around it in typical herding movements while Dad pushes it across the yard, but as soon as he gets it to the storage shed, the efforts to herd stop. And then she looks at us as if to say that she's very proud of herself for a job well done. I don't know, maybe you have to be there to see it, but it's hilarious. It's a lot like this, only with a lawn mower instead of sheep.

Incident Report, May 18-19, 2008

1. Banged hand on doorway

2. Mystery bruise on knee

3. Got whipped in the face by Wally’s rapidly-thwacking ears. It hurt, y’all.

4. Spilled soapy water on myself while washing dishes

5. Picked at bump on my arm until it got all red and irritated. Typical.

6. Behind on my thesis (yes, again).

7. Got whupped at Wii Tennis by my dad, and then again by my sister.

On my afternoon so far

Ich habe hunger, aber ich kann nicht essen. Or rather, I can eat, but I'm not going to eat because I’m saving my calories for dinner. *Sigh*. Dieting is even less fun than working on my thesis.

By the way, I haven’t had a German class in 12 years, so I don't guarantee that the above sentence is correct. Also, I think my thesis has become like Amy Archer’s Pulitzer. You could start making bets on whether I’ll mention it.

Pitiful

My daily food intake, per dailyplate.com.

Holy Pet Peeve Blog, Batman!

Today, I "visited" the "website" for The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and "found" a "link" to a "blog" about one of my biggest "pet peeves."

Hurray! Oh, pardon me. I meant, "Hurray!"



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If/Then Statements

If I sleep with my window open, then the lawn care guys will show up in the morning (with their obnoxiously-loud, wasteful, gas-guzzling lawn care equipment) and will use their ridiculous air blower thingy to blow leaves off my front porch, never mind the fact that I have a broom standing right there, as if to tell them “I sweep leaves off my porch on a regular basis, so there's no need to use your ridiculous air blower thingy.”

Else if I sleep with my window open, then it will rain.

-

Bad Wally

We do not chew on my foot, Wally. We do not.





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Incident Report, Week of April 11 - April 18

1. Got a ridiculous-looking sunburn (photo to be provided at a later date)

2. When pulling up covers in bed, punched self in face. It hurt, y'all.

3. Spilled milk on shirt.

4. Attended faculty meeting as student representative on the dean search committee. Faculty asked my opinion on a matter to which I hadn't yet given much thought (but ought to have done). Looked like unprepared idiot in front of entire faculty.


Update, 4-29-08: Ridiculous-looking sunburn has faded to a ridiculous-looking tan. Boo.

Speck of Dust, Dust, Dust

This one's for you, Hils!






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Plants, Day 6

It's been six days since jlr and I added plants to our patio, and, y'all, they are still alive. That's right. Still alive. I've even watered them twice.

I don't want to be too optimistic, but we're off to a good start this year.

Also, I made some truly terrible coffee this morning, but that's another story.

Incident report, since this past weekend

1. Knocked sticky notes off of desk.
2. Dropped cell phone.
3. Knocked over bottle of saline solution.
4. Hit head on lamp post.
5. Literally ran into friend while shopping. Twice.
6. Accidentally punched fellow shopper in the arm.
7. Spilled baby food all over pants leg while giving medicine to Wally (not my fault! He did it!)
8. Spilled unknown substance (probably frosting) on jeans.

New Language Setting

I'm just trying it for a short while, 'tay-'tay? Then we'll be back to French as usual. Pomise.





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I'm remembering now that my advisor said she spent a lot of time baking during this same point in her life

I'm for real going to work on my paper now, y'all. For real.




And by "my paper," I mean "my thesis."



(Don't panic! Don't panic!)

More on Being Ill; and Also, Some Incidents

If you’ve read Impatientchicken lately, you know that I’ve been ill. I’m blessed with a hearty constitution—isn’t that how they used to put it—and don’t get sick very often. This means, of course, that when I do get sick, I become rather mopey and sad and, basically, unable to cope with doing anything more than feeling sorry for myself. I have therefore been avoiding posting to my blog.

See how I always have an excuse for not posting more often?

Anyhow, since jlr and I have both been ill, I’ve been amused at our mutual attempts to boss the other one around. When one of us is ill, the other one shifts into Bossy Nurse mode, becoming rather like the person Anne Cattrell described when she said, “I saw her on The World at War, and she wasn’t fighting for the Allies.” When jlr and I are both ill, then, it becomes a contest about who does a better job of insisting that the other one is more ill and therefore in need of more care (and thus more bossing around). I’ll admit that jlr had the upper hand at first because she didn’t get sick as soon as I did. I’ll also admit to standing in my closet with the door closed to take my temperature because I suspected that my fever had not gone away (it hadn’t), and I didn’t want jlr to know about it—and if she had heard the thermometer beeping, she would have demanded to know what my temperature was. Soon, however, the tables turned. As I got better, jlr’s cold grew worse. I think she might have had a bit of an infection. Might still have, in fact. So now I’m waiting for her to get home so I can boss her around some more. She didn’t go to bed early enough last night. I’ll have to do a better job of monitoring her tonight. I’ve kind of slacked off lately. Bad, rr, bad.

And for those of you who miss the incident reports, I’ll tell you that I hit myself in the head with the phone the other day. It hurt...and it made me mad at the phone. I did have an incident report list going, but I can’t find it. Here are two things, though, that I remember from the list:

1. Tripped over Wally. Did not spill tea!

2. Tripped on phone cord. Spilled tea.

Tell Jocelyn, Got Me, Too

I might have finally caught that winter-time cold I've been dodging for months. Boo! Boo, I say!

Of course, I might just be tired and will wake up tomorrow feeling much better. Let us hope.


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As If I Didn't Already Have Enough Ways to Waste My Time

Lately, I've been watching a lot of programs on the Internet. For example, I've been watching Full House. No, not that Full House. This Full House. And also, jlr and I have been enjoying Overboard. No, not that Overboard. This Overboard.

And also, as if they've tapped into my brain and figured out what I think has been missing from Internet-available television, there's now this (Book 'em, Dano!).


-

I Need to Vacuum

Wally just ate something off the floor.

"What are you eating?" I asked him. "Drop it! Drop it right now!"

He just chewed faster.

"WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" I asked again.

He swallowed.

"What?" he meowed, all attiduninally.


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Word Games

The word verification for a comment I posted to someone's blog today was "misjue." I was uber pleased, y'all; it's so very Mad Gabs.

As in, "Oh, Tanya, we misjue at the picnic last week. I wish you could have been there."


Eggs sell lent.

-

Dear Fruit,

You're wonderful, and I love you.

Faithfully yours,
RR

Incident Report, Week of 1-13-08

1. Dropped jar of eye cream, which spilled out all over the counter.
2. Dropped container of cranberries, spilling cranberries all over the stove.
3. Tripping going upstairs.
4. Punched self in neck.
5. Spilled coffee in purse.

Wally is Snoring

Wally, who is taking up two-thirds of my chair (the most comfortable two-thirds, at that), is snoring.

It's a good thing he's so cute.



The new semester starts tonight! I'm not excited about it, but going to class is on my to-do list for today, and when I come home, I'll get to cross it off. It's the little things, right, folks?

The Latest Round of Complaints

So, I had made the decision to be a more positive person. This was not a New Year’s Resolution but rather stemmed from two things: (1) I’m tired of being stressed all the time, and if I were more positive, maybe things wouldn’t bother me so much, and (2) believe it or not, some tapes my grandmother gave me that point out how easy it is not to stress about little things. I had been making remarkable progress (for me). But then.

Oh, but then.

Our project for my environmental planning class needed some revisions over Christmas break before we turned the final report in to the group on behalf of which it was written, and the changes need to be made by a certain date (today). I spend a very large chunk of my break making changes to the thing because the majority of my teammates couldn't be bothered. Never mind the fact that they PLAGIARIZED (as it turns out, it was more than one person using that particular style of writing). They couldn’t be bothered with the revisions. And as I don’t want to turn in bad work that could get us kicked out of school, I made the changes myself. Two other students on the team (the ones who didn’t plagiarize) said they would help but were in reality only a tiny bit of help.

I’m having some unkind, very unpositive thoughts about two certain Ph.D. students right now.

Why Am I Still at Work?

I'm going to miss Perry Mason.


Boo.





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Digital camera

JLR and I bought a digital camera (finally), so expect to see a lot more of this:



And by "a lot more," you know I don't mean that I'll be posting more frequently, right? Right. 'Cause you've noticed the infrequent posting. All three of you.

Dear Lia,

As I take an afternoon blog tour, I see from the trail of your comments that you are doing the same. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one procrastinating.

Yours,
RR
P.S. You'll notice that, unlike you, I'm too lazy to post any comments.

Wally knows how to negotiate.

Wally and I had a stand off the other day.

He wanted me to share my tuna with him. I set it down on top of my printer for a moment while getting my study things together. He jumped on my desk and headed straight for my bowl. When I told him "no," he dutifully turned around from my bowl...and then sat down.

On my book. The one that I needed to study.




Here's a close-up of his game face.



As you can see, the desk is a mess. There was no way to extricate the book with Wally causing everything else on my desk to go tumbling down.

He is a skilled negotiator, that cat.

Tij = AiBjOiDjdij-b

And also, Sij = ΣiCiAjFj^aDij-b = ΣiSij.

I miss my theory classes.

Can't I just write another paper?

Sigh.

Back to the flashcards.

Sij = ΣiCiAjFjaDij-b = ΣiSij

Thinking + Tired = Not Really Thinking After All

It's 1 A.M., and I still have a lot of work to do before I can go to bed so I can get up (later) in the morning and study some more. My lips are chapped, and I'm staring at a tube of chapstick that jlr left on my desk, wondering if she'd mind if I used it. And then I realize that it's my chapstick; it's the chapstick that Hils sent me as part of my finals care package. And I think, "Oh."

It's still wrapped. Too much effort to unwrap. Bummer.

Does anyone remember what I was going to look up online?




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Dear Deals, Tell Me If This Sounds Familiar

We had to do a group project in one of my planning classes. There's a woman in my group who, while she seemed really nice at first, managed to be remarkably unhelpful to the project. We had to ask her repeatedly for the information she was supposed to supply to the group. When she missed the scheduled "exchange information so we can compile one report" date by a week, and when we asked her for the information for what was, I don't know, the third or fourth time (AND THE LAST TIME WAS ON THE DAY BEFORE OUR PAPER WAS DUE), she acted like she didn't know what we were talking about. And then when she did get it to us, it was unusable. And then when we didn't use much of her work in the final project, she got mad at us and scheduled a meeting with our professor to lodge a complaint. Not so nice after all.

Sound like anyone you have to work with, Deals?

Stood Up

A classmate and I have to interview people who provide cultural programming at places that might not be thought of as cultural resources (ex., churches that have dance groups). We had an interview with a senior community that has a choir. It had taken a bit of finangling to get this interview, as the interviewee didn't seem particularly interested in our project, but we needed this interview, by golly, so I persisted. We set an interview date and time. On the correct day, at the correct time, my classmate and I drove the 30 minutes to the interview site, walked in, and said that we were there to see [interviewee's name]. The person who greeted us said, "I'm sorry she's on vacation this week."

Picture me flabbergasted.

Finals Time. Yea.

In case you were wondering why I've been posting even less than usual, it's because finals are right around the corner. I have a project due Monday. The next week, I have an exam on Monday, a project due on Tuesday, an assignment due Thursday, and an exam due on Thursday. Somewhere in that time frame, I need to squeeze in about 6 interviews for one of my projects. The only one I've really started working on is the project due on Monday. The other project has me a little bit nervous because (a) it should be around 30 pages, which would be no big deal except we've only got about, oh, two pages done so far and (b) it's a group project, and two of my teammates are slackers. They're slackers, people. It's been like pulling teeth just to get them to do the work they've done so far, and I don't have time to hold their hands. Only I have to hold their hands because group project = group grade. If they do a bad job, I get a bad grade. Sigh.
And if you think I've complained a lot so far, wait 'til it gets a bit closer to the due date. There will be much more complaining. It's my finals coping mechanism (which reminds me, I need more coffee).

Also, on Thanksgiving, I helped make the gravy, and I dropped the whisk. It splattered gravy on my left shoe and pants leg. Mom laughed. A lot. Also, I ate half an apple pie. And two bags of peanut butter cups.

My Favorite Quote from Today

" Moving too slow to be measured by the eye of man, the Great Meat Glacier pushed inexorably south."

(featured in the Meat! Meat! Meat! Part 2 section on one of my favorite websites)




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Oh, Yuck

No time to wash my hair. Must meet with professor. Hope meeting is short enough that I can sneak away and do the reading assignment for his class this afternoon. Plus, must make flyers for GIS day. Also, not panicking about trying to squeeze in 9 interviews with arts people before the end of the semester. Not panicking about the amount of work I have left to do before finals.

Okay, that's not true. I am panicking.

And my hair stinks.




-

Apparently, I Can't Do Very, Very Simple Math

And in other news, my planning techniques & administrative analysis mid-term exam is now over.




-

So Good

Misarang Hatsal Rice Crackers....mmmm.......



And these are the ones I overate yesterday:

Bleh

Tongue dry. Ate too many rice cookies. Talking difficult. Tongue very, very dry. Bleh.




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All Right. Who Was It?

Now, I'm not saying that someone--some invisible someone--drank my coffee. I'm just saying that there isn't as much coffee in my mug as I think there ought to be, and I didn't drink it.


So who was it?


-

Incident Report, the past few days

1. Failed to clear doorway
2. Punched self in jaw with box from Target
3. Knocked glasses askew with car door
4. Bumped head on door
5. Dropped roll of paper towels on floor
6. This one I can't remember, but that may have something to do with the fact that I keep hitting my head.

Dear Conference Organizers,

Tonight, classmate Sue told me about the silvery-inked pen she found in the bag you gave her at the conference yesterday. I attended the conference today. When I returned home from class this evening, I checked my bag, and there was no silvery-inked pen. Classmate Sue spoke highly of the silvery-inked pen. She told me how nice the writing looked when the pen was used with the blue sticky notes you handed out (which I do have). I would like to have a silvery-inked pen, please.

(What's that you say? That I cleaned out my pen collection this weekend and said I didn't need any more pens? Shhhh.......)

-

Snapshot of my day so far

Oversleep. Get up in time to get dressed, have breakfast, and turn on the computer before my professor calls to discuss a project. Tell him I will have the changes he recommended made in a couple of hours. Seven hours later, I’m still working on it. I was going to finish writing a paper today, but I might as well put that off. My professor thinks my classmates and I will be up all night working on it before it’s due on Tuesday; we might as well live up to his prediction.

The cats do not like their new food and have been bugging me all day to give them the old stuff. I tell them that the old stuff made them sick, but (a) they don’t speak English and (b) they don’t care. They want the old stuff.

I’m in the home stretch on the project when I hear a tell-tale cry from Gabby. I run downstairs, and, sure enough, she’s licking her lips in the way she does right before she throws up. I run into the kitchen to grab a roll of paper towels. She follows, sits down, and stares out the window. A sneaking suspicion creeps over me that her “about to throw up” symptoms were just a ploy to get me near the food bowls.

"Don’t act like you weren’t about to be sick, because you totally were,” I say to her. She casually inspects the rug. I look around the corner, and there’s Wally, big eyes staring at me, and both food bowls untouched.

I’ll admit it. They wore me down. It’s tuna tonight.

But at least it’s a Robert Cray day, so I’m happy.

Oh, Lovely Day

I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but here, it's a Robert-Cray-and-open-windows kind of day.




If you follow the link, try song 3. Fabu.



-

Dear Deals,

I saw this, and I thought of you.

Yours sincerely,
RR

P.S. D.C. Donut--I thought of you, too. I have first-hand knowledge of what Deals is going through; I reeeeaaaaally hope your situation isn't quite as bad. If it is...oh, man. That's bad.

Incident Report, Lately

1. Knocked over moisturizer bottle while reaching for hair clip
2. A bug flew into my mouth while I was talking to a classmate in the parking lot after class
3. Hit grocery store employee's foot with my grocery cart
4. I came home from class tonight with a plastic cup from the boba tea place I go to every Thursday; the intention was to recycle the plastic cup. As I came into the house, JLR gave me a look.
"[RR]," she said reprovingly, pointing to the plastic cup I brought home last week and still haven't put in the recycle bin.
5. Had the following conservation with professor:
Me: I really enjoyed Loukaitou-Sideris's article on sidewalks.
Him: Oh, really? When did you read that?
Me: Last fall in Professor Smith's class.
Him: I'm Professor Smith.
Me: [pause due to confusion followed by embarrassment] I mean, in Professor Stone's class.

Le Sigh.



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Aye, Me Hearties, It's That Day Again!!

Happy TALK LIKE A PIRATE day, everyone!

(And thanks to Jes for being the first to comment on this before I had even posted it. You rock, Jes.)


Now, go out there and celebrate! You can start by spreading around a joke sure to amuse your co-workers (if they haven't already heard it); it's near and dear to jlr's heart because it (a) involves a pun and (b) involves one of her favorite things.

"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!" [from talklikeapirate.com]












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Studyblock

Apparently, while I was downloading Leechblock onto the computer, my brain was downloading Studyblock. No studying after 3 P.M. Nope, not going to do it. Now my brain and my computer are working at cross purposes.

Brain: I will not study. I will look at cuteoverload and icanhascheezburger.
Computer: Um, no. I've blocked those, and you can't remember your password to bypass me.
Brain: Bother! But you won't fool me! I'll think of some other way to pass the time!
Computer: No, you won't. You're not really working right now, now that it's late afternoon. You've already put yourself on standby. Here, I'll give you something to do. How about working on that art inventory your professor has been waiting for? That doesn't require much brain power.
Brain: Sigh, oh, all right...Oh, look, a website for the Visionary Arts Museum! It's not going on the inventory, but I'll spend ten minutes reading about it anyway.
Computer: Sigh. I'm going to have to shut down the Internet again, aren't I?


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How to Remove Honey from Hands While in GRA Office

1. Wipe hands on napkin. Note that hands are still sticky.

2. Use hand sanitizer. Note that hands still have honey on them.

3. Look around office to make sure no one is watching.

4. Wipe hands on pants.

Can I Add Leechblock to Leechblock?

Well, folks, only two weeks in to the new semester, and already my academic output would rate about a 7 out of 10 on the ol' Crumm-E scale.

To help increase my productivity (both quantity and quality), I've installed Leechblock. The problem is that I spend much longer than I should have just trying to find Leechblock. Moreover, I can picture myself spending a good deal of time in the next week wasting time trying to think of more sites to block myself from accessing (in other words, procrastinating...again). Grrr, RR. Grrr.

Oh, well, it's installed now, and here's hoping it will actually work.

Happy Monday, y'all!


-

I'm supposed to do something on Friday, but I don't remember what it is.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone? I believe it is a mid-day appointment.









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Dude, I Smell Like Outside

I have a meeting with a professor (of whom I am very much in awe) in 20 minutes, and I smell like outside. Le sigh.






-

On the plus side, the Runt finally posted again! She says she's going to post pictures of her new puppy, but we shall see...

Woe to you, Fiskars!

Woe to you for cutting my finger! We were friends, but no longer. I do not trust you.

But I am impressed with how sharp you are.

-

Do You Ever Feel Like This?

http://shrinkster.com/sbn

(slightly longer version at http://shrinkster.com/sbo)

I, for one, feel this way all the time (though on a more modest scale).




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Corn-I-cannot-copia

Or, no longer “corn-o-plenty”

I love corn. Straight off the cob or from a can, sweet kernel or cream, I do not care. I love corn products, such as popcorn, corn chips, and wonderful, wonderful corn bread. More than these, I love things made from corn products such as corn syrup. And I can no longer have these things.

You see, I am allergic to corn. Or rather, according to my newly-acquired allergist, I have a sensitivity to corn. This means that, while consuming corn will not cause anaphylaxis for me, it will cause stomach acid to enter my esophagus, which, over time, will irritate it to the point that my esophagus will begin to close…which is what happened in all these years before I discovered I had corn “sensitivity” and why I had to have my esophagus widened a couple of months back.

Now, the good news is that if I cut out all corn products from my diet for the next, say, two years, my body may forget that it has this particular allergy, and I can go back to eating corn. Maybe. The bad news is that it’s hard to find products that don’t have corn, corn syrup, or corn starch (shoot, even most baking powder is made with corn starch). I will now be spending most of my grocery money at Whole Foods, where I’ve managed to find a number of things that I can eat and that don’t also require me to spend much time in the kitchen.

I guess I should pick up with yoga again; then I can really be one of those Whole Foods people.

There are only so many places it could be.

And yet I cannot find the cord to my "fauxpod" knock-off MP3 player. Where is it?

I mean, seriously, y'all.

There are only so many places it could be.


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