Woe to you, Fiskars!

Woe to you for cutting my finger! We were friends, but no longer. I do not trust you.

But I am impressed with how sharp you are.

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Do You Ever Feel Like This?

http://shrinkster.com/sbn

(slightly longer version at http://shrinkster.com/sbo)

I, for one, feel this way all the time (though on a more modest scale).




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Corn-I-cannot-copia

Or, no longer “corn-o-plenty”

I love corn. Straight off the cob or from a can, sweet kernel or cream, I do not care. I love corn products, such as popcorn, corn chips, and wonderful, wonderful corn bread. More than these, I love things made from corn products such as corn syrup. And I can no longer have these things.

You see, I am allergic to corn. Or rather, according to my newly-acquired allergist, I have a sensitivity to corn. This means that, while consuming corn will not cause anaphylaxis for me, it will cause stomach acid to enter my esophagus, which, over time, will irritate it to the point that my esophagus will begin to close…which is what happened in all these years before I discovered I had corn “sensitivity” and why I had to have my esophagus widened a couple of months back.

Now, the good news is that if I cut out all corn products from my diet for the next, say, two years, my body may forget that it has this particular allergy, and I can go back to eating corn. Maybe. The bad news is that it’s hard to find products that don’t have corn, corn syrup, or corn starch (shoot, even most baking powder is made with corn starch). I will now be spending most of my grocery money at Whole Foods, where I’ve managed to find a number of things that I can eat and that don’t also require me to spend much time in the kitchen.

I guess I should pick up with yoga again; then I can really be one of those Whole Foods people.

There are only so many places it could be.

And yet I cannot find the cord to my "fauxpod" knock-off MP3 player. Where is it?

I mean, seriously, y'all.

There are only so many places it could be.


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