See if you can make the following poorly-written sentence even worse:
"The equity planning paradigm is an off-shoot, or 'spin-off,' if you will, of the advocacy planning paradigm that began in the 1960s after Paul Davidoff wrote an article about the paradigm (advocacy planning, that is)."
Good luck, ladies.
9 comments:
I wasn't asked to participate in the challenge, so I'm not even going to try.
Unless maybe, you added "written by Paul Davidoff (that is) in the 1960's (if you will).
You're welcome to join, AM. I just didn't know if anyone but Hils and JLR would be interested. :)
I don’t know, rr, that’s pretty bad, and I don't know if I can do better than AM's "improvement" without getting a little ridiculous.
Let’s see (does the pre-typing hand stretch thing):
After Paul Davidoff wrote an article about the advocacy planning paradigm, the planning paradigm that advocates advocacy planning, as it is known, in the 1960s, the equity planning paradigm spun off from it (“it” being advocacy planning), that is, it became an “off-shoot,” similar in nature to advocacy planning, but a little different, as spin-offs are, like “Rhoda” was to “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”
Okay, I seriously cannot make that worse than JLR. Impossible. That's hilarious.
But if I were to try, I would just add this:
After Paul Davidoff wrote an article about the advocacy planning paradigm, the planning paradigm that advocates advocacy planning, as it is known, in the 1960s, the equity planning paradigm spun off from it (“it” being advocacy planning), that is, it became an “off-shoot,” similar in nature to advocacy planning, but a little different (in that it advocates equity planning instead of advocating advocacy planning), as spin-offs are, like “Rhoda” was to “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”
Oooh, wait!
After Paul Davidoff wrote an
article about the advocacy planning paradigm, the planning paradigm that advocates advocacy planning, as it is known, in the 1960s, the equity planning paradigm spun off from it (“it” being advocacy planning), that is, it became an “off-shoot,” similar in nature to advocacy planning (in that equity planning and advocacy planning are both socially aware forms of planning paradigms), but a little different (in that it advocates equity planning instead of advocating advocacy planning), as spin-offs are, like “Rhoda” was to “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”
So I don't really know about the "socially aware" part. Not having ever studied planning, I wasn't sure what adjective to add.
JLR and HMC: Hi-larious! What a good laugh. I think I'm going to have to make this a semi-regular feature.
Thanks to all three of you for participating!
Bring. It. On.
I'm participating since my initials were JLR once upon a time. (8 yrs ago)
I HAVE to add mine. :o)
"The equity planning paradigm is not the advocacy planning brought about in the 1960's article written by Paul Davidoff about the paradigm, but is an off-shoot or child to the original advocacy planning, as it is not exactly the same as the paradigm mentioned in the article, and should be noted as an off-shoot, or "spin-off", if you will, of the advocacy planning paradigm first mentioned (seeing they are not the same)."
Oh, Emma, that's *fabulous*. JLR and I were admiring how you took the sentence in an entirely different direction than had been previously established, or, to be more clear, it's a different direction than that in which we gone heretofore. That is, it is not the same.
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