Democrats and Republicans, Please Remove Me from Your Mailing Lists

In the last presidential election cycle, I gave money to the Republican candidate. I wasn’t particularly fond of his political views, but I liked him better than the other options. Because I didn’t know how to give money to the candidate directly, I donated through the Republican Party. I don’t know why I was surprised to wind up on the Republican Party’s mailing list, but surprised I was.

I’m not a Republican (although I once voted in a Republican primary), and that is the only time I have ever donated to the Grand Old Party. Yet for four years now, the GOP has wasted its money sending me surveys asking for money, letters about the alarming state of America asking for money, and just plain requests for money. They ask me if I’ve abandoned the cause, if I’ve just given up, and so forth. And the answer is no, I haven’t given up on what I believe in, but the GOP hasn’t managed to figure out yet that its values don’t overlap much with mine. They haven’t realized it despite my saying so quite plainly on at least one of the surveys I dutifully filled out and sent back to them—I wrote “I DO NOT SUPPORT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY,” yet I still keep getting phone calls and letters from them. It’s as though I’ve broken up with them, and they just can’t believe it’s real because they never listened to me in the first place and have no clue what I think or want. The last time I filled out one of their surveys, I even purposely chose all the answers I thought would get me labeled a crazy Commie leftie by the folks on the right. We’ll see it if works and the letters, surveys, and occasional phone calls will stop (fingers crossed!).

Although I’m not a Republican, I’m not a Democrat, either. But I am a member of an environmentalist group, and I’ve signed a few environmentally-focused petitions that required my mailing address. A month or so ago, I received a letter from the Democrats asking me to help (sign a petition maybe? I don’t know, I shredded the letter without opening it) with recall elections in Wisconsin. And then today in the mail I had a letter from Planned Parenthood about something political. I would really like to know who sold me out.

Both major political parties—yes, both of you!—you’re on my bad list.