Lunch today

Oh, zee pasta, eet was good.
Oh, zee breath, eet ees bad.

A Bit More about Wally

Given name: Walis Olivia
Nicknames: Wally; Wally Olly; Wally Oliphant; Mr. Bun; Mr. Pitman; the Purring Mantis; Mr. Whiskers; Mr. Mooster; Woogie; Muffin; Pumpkin; Moo shu.

They Make Me Happy

Hee hee. Hee hee hee hee.

Dear Blogger,

I do not like you. I do not like being forced to switch to the new, "improved" blogger. I'd break up with you, but then you might not let me have all my posts.

Signed,
RR

I need a new word because "Crackjass" isn't strong enough

Amy is a small person. I don't what she may have said, and I don't care, because no matter what she may (or may not) have said, she did not deserve this.

For Hils and JLR: a Challenge

See if you can make the following poorly-written sentence even worse:

"The equity planning paradigm is an off-shoot, or 'spin-off,' if you will, of the advocacy planning paradigm that began in the 1960s after Paul Davidoff wrote an article about the paradigm (advocacy planning, that is)."




Good luck, ladies.

Who Really Runs This Household?

A little while ago, I sat down in my desk chair so that I could warm up the jeans I wanted to wear today. (Yes, during the winter months, I sit on my jeans before putting them on so that when I do put them on, they're nice and warm). Gabby, my cat, jumped up in my lap. When I decided the jeans should be sufficiently heated, I tried to get up, and Gabby yelled at me. She then moved over to stand on the part of my jeans that were sticking out to one side of me. I tried to grab the jeans and stand in one swift motion while she was temporarily out of my lap, but then she yelled at me again and jumped back on my lap.

So here I sit.

I need to go to the post office.



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Now You Know Something Else About Me

Sitting here listening to a Glenn Miller album has prompted me to share a life dream with you. It’s the kind of dream that you might mock, one that comes from being raised on old movies, but I don’t care. I’m going to share it anyway.

I have long wanted to be a member of a dance troupe that performs for the troops at USO’s and at other locations. I’m talking the kind of dancing you see in “Singing in the Rain,” “Good News,” “Lady of Burlesque” (minus the stripping, more the opening number and not so much the others) and all those other musicals I watched and loved as a kid.

“But, rr,” you say, “the troops don’t like that kind of thing now-a-days. It’s too old-fashioned. And moreover, you can’t dance.”

You’re right, and I don’t care. A girl can dream, can’t she?

_

Incident report, Week of Jan. 21, 2007 (so far)

1. Burned hand while making caramel frosting for Dad's birthday cake.
2. Two paper cuts.
3. Stepped on cat, who is now afraid of me.
4. Knocked water bottle and cat's medicine bottle off the counter.
5. While doing a Pilates balancing move, fell over. ("Mrow? inquired Gabby. "I'm okay," I told her.)
6. Knocked trash can against wall while trying to do another balancing move.
7. Nicked leg whilst shaving.


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Incident Report, Week of January 7, 2006

1. While pulling up bed covers, punched self in face.
2. While putting away the dishes, accidentally stepped into an empty Clementine box, stumbled forward, and set down clean spatula into my water glass, instead of into the spatula holder.
3. Tried to "crinkle" plastic bottle before putting it in recycling bin, but it uncrinkled itself and leapt out of my hand.
4. Knocked medication bottle off of nightstand.
5. While trying to hit snooze, swept alarm clock off of nightstand.
6. Knocked laptop computer into JLR's toes (laptop was propped up on her bed).

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A Pleasant Discovery

I don't think it will be a surprise to anyone that this has been added to my wish list.








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I Love McGarrett

I’m watching Hawaii Five-O, and I’m pretty sure I just heard McGarrett answer the phone with “Yello.”

When I have my own business one day, I'd better not catch one of my employees listing this as a "business expense".

The topless bar I pass on the way home from my parents’ house has wireless Internet. Good to know there’s a place where businessmen can mix business and pleasure during the lunch hour. Yeah.

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Happy Monday, Everyone!

Maybe the phone company can fix my phone today. We'll see. They didn't fix it last week when I submitted a trouble report. They seem to think my phone is off the hook. Well, Phone Company, I have checked, re-checked, and re-checked my phones, and they are all hung up appropriately. Sheesh.






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Am I Thin Yet?

Does this even happen to you? Yesterday, I exercised and I ate right (for me). I immediately expected to be thinner. Alas, if only it really worked that way.








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Does This Seem Weird to You?

I was recently tagged by Deals, and now I’m supposed to list six weird things about myself and then tag six other people. Reading over other posts in response to this tag, I realized that I don’t define weird the same way some other people do. I adhere to definitions such as those posted on Merriam-Webster online, which are as follows:

“1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : MAGICAL
2 : of strange or extraordinary character : ODD, FANTASTIC”

Think of the Weird Sisters in Macbeth. Granted, they represented the Fates, but they are also, by modern standards, weird. More than strange, they are just plain weird.

I can’t think of six weird things about me. Six things that may seem strange (as in foreign) to others, but not six weird things.

I’ve given this topic some thought, and the only thing I could come up with is the fact that I tend deliberately to pronounce words incorrectly or strangely. This isn’t just me, though; several members of my family are like this. For example, instead of “mug” (as in coffee mug), earlier today I referred that object as a “muggy-muggy-mug.” We call sugar “ragus,” which is sugar spelled backwards (Dad came up with that). Knife is pronounced “kuh-niff.” Garage is “guh-rah-guh.”

Even the above isn’t exactly weird, and if I could think of six weird things about myself, I’m not sure I would post them on the Internet. Weirdness tends to be frowned upon.

I don't have freakishly long fingers or toes, I don't sleep with two stuffed animals (just the one), and I'm not afraid of donuts. So that's it. I’m sure there’s something, but can’t think of what it is. Sorry, folks.

Also, I’m not going to tag anyone else. For one thing, I don’t think I know six people in blogland who haven’t already done this. For another, I agree with JLR that tags are like the chain letters of blogland (“You must tag six people or something horrible will happen to your blog in six days!”). Some people like to be tagged, but as much as I like to talk about myself, when it comes to tags I have Eeyore-like feelings ("Nobody wants to read this stuff about me.")

Some people like to be tagged, but since I don’t know which of you do, I’m going to say that if you weren’t tagged by Deals, and if you’re a regular reader of my blog (you know who you are, all four of you), and if you don’t mind doing this, consider yourself tagged.

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Last Final Exam of the Semester Was Tonight

Igh.





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Two Down, One to Go

First of all, let me just say that baby, it’s cold outside. I know, I know, it isn’t Canadian Tundra-level cold, but for here, it’s cold.

Moving on, today I turned in my first grad school term paper. Frankly, I don’t think it was even up to my undergraduate standards, but at least I didn’t put it off to the very last minute, unlike when I was an undergrad. Each of us was also supposed to do a five-minute presentation about our papers, but thanks to the slow ramblings of several of my classmates, we only had to do a one-minute summary. Hurray!

This means that three of my classes are now officially over (there was no final in my Plan Implementation class).

Next Tuesday: the final I’m told that everyone fails, for the class in which I am, yes, that’s right, 14 chapters behind.

Incident Reports

In case any of you were wondering, "Hey, what's-a-matter no incident reports lately?" I will tell you that I have been remarkably unclumsy lately. This is only because I have been spending most of my time seated, studying for exams. I should add that the cord for my Internet connection runs across my room in front of my door, and I trip on it almost on a daily basis. At least I've finally reached the point where I don't trip on it every single time I leave my room. Also, I was eating Pringles yesterday while Wally sat in my lap, and after a while I looked down to pet him and discovered that he had a nice little display of Pringles crumbs on him. Poor little guy.




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Exams

I was going to complain about the statistics exam I have to take this afternoon, but then I read AmStaff Mom's post, so...never mind.



Good luck (not that you'll need it!) and God bless you, AM!