Scary Google People

Y'all:

I was just signed in to gmail, sending a message, when at the top of my gmail page I saw an ad for on-sale Hello Kitty underwear.

And, looking around the room for the Scary Google People monitoring devices, I thought, ‘How did they know???’

Spooky.

Dear Pandora,

While we don't always get along, I do appreciate my Kinks radio station. I really do. But--speaking of not getting along--could you please stop playing the Who? Please. Stop it.

The Bike!

T. fixed my bike for me this weekend (you know, the one I acquired this day). He spent the weekend at his mom's house babysitting her cat, and he needed something to do. I myself have never felt so great a need for something to do that I would volunteer to fix someone's bike, but I guess T.'s handy like that.

Also, I think he wants someone to bike with. I have told him that I'm not getting up at 5:45 A.M. (as he does) to go for a ride. I am also not going biking when it's 100+ degrees outside. T. says it's cooler in the morning, and I reiterate that I'm not getting up at 5:45. T. also is mapping out a 14-mile ride for us. I have also repeatedly told him that I can't go 14 miles, that I am sadly out of shape. I don't think my comments are making much of a dent, though, even when I told him the story about my last bike ride. But at least his other friend G., who is similarly reluctant to take long bike rides, will probably go with us, so I won't be the only one griping about how far it is.

So, anyway, when T. called Friday afternoon to say that he was free to come over and pick up my bike, I thought, what? Company? But...but that means I have to brush my teeth. And put on deodorant. And pants. But at least my bike is getting fixed. Poor T. had to see me in my usual working-on-thesis attire (and accompanying coiffure). Not pretty.

Incident Report, July 25, 2008

1. Banged knee on desk.
2. Modem died. Again.
3. Cut finger while moving the food processor blade.
4. Mystery bruise on left knee.
5. Mystery cut on right elbow.
6. Mystery cut on right ankle.
7. Mystery cut on left knee. [When did I do all this to myself? What, did I serve as Ponyboy's backup in last night's rumble?]
8. Apparently, I acquired a tank top tan just by sitting at my window all day this summer. Sigh. I guess I need to vary my wardrobe just a little bit.

And in other news, the tramp stamp sunburn is beginning to peel.

And it itches.

Dear jlr,

Thank you for posting again. I appreciate it.


Yours,
rr

Unidentified Fruit

At dinner last night, my meal came with a lovely side of mixed fruit. Ingredients: grapes, watermelon, orange, melon, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, and...? Couldn't figure out what the last one was. I didn't eat it, just in case it was grapefruit, although D. says it wasn't. And she would know.

So what was it?

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In case you were worried I'd abandoned that annoying habit of talking about my thesis all the time

So, how’s the thesis going, rr?

I’ll tell you, gentle reader. It’s going like the following description of a recent visit to Municode.com.

Me: Wait a minute, this isn’t a list of states! This is a list of cities.
Municode: Yes, that's correct. It's a list of cities. You're brilliant.
Me: What–Abilene? Is this Texas? I didn’t click on Texas.
Municode: Yes, you did. Else I wouldn't have pulled up a list of cities in Texas.
Me: No, I clicked on Calif–oh, wait, yes I did. Oops.

[backspace]
[click on California]






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Greeeeeeeeeen Roof ! Planted.

Remember back in April when I said I got a ridiculous-looking sunburn? Remember I said I would post a picture of it later? Well, I'm finally getting around to posting it. That awful-looking sunburn has now faded to an awful-looking tan (tan by my standards).

The reason I remembered to post the picture is because I helped with some upkeep on the green roof today. We had a lot of new plants to add, so I spent an hour and a half planting on the roof of one of the science buildings. In my effort to avoid getting burned like last time, I carefully applied sunscreen to every exposed part of my body before heading up to campus. I even put sunscreen on my shoulders in case my sleeves rode up as I was planting.

So guess where I forgot to put sunscreen? My lower back. Where my t-shirt rode up as I was planting. I was so concerned about people being able to see my unmentionables that I forgot to be worried about sunburn. And I now have a huge sunburn tramp stamp. Bother.

Is it a mistake to listen to "Beethoven at Bedtime" when I'm this sleepy?

And supposed to be getting work done?


Also, does anyone else often feel compelled to pronounce it "Beethe-Oven"**?

**(And you know where I get that from, right? Right? Tell me you know where I get that from.)

Two of Wally's Favorite Activities

True to typical feline form, two of Wally's favorite activities involve bothering me.

Here, I will show you.

Staring at me (usually followed by my demanding "What? What?!" and his giving no indication as to what he actually wants but continuing to stare):


Stealing my chair:


Staring at me:

















Stealing my chair:













Staring at me while stealing my chair:

Dear Doc-uh-ments

Ye shall be copied from my hard drive and pasted onto my flash drive, and ye shall not give me any trouble about this. And ye shall not fill up my flash drive.

I mean it.

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Ich habe sleepy

Stupid brokeness, won't allow me to buy k-cups.


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Incident Report, lunch with my family last Thursday

1. My grandmother wants to set me up with her doctor. Um, no. "I know how to say it," she says, thinking, I guess, that she'll manage to convince the both of us that this is a good idea. I may have offended my grandmother by my reaction. And also by my comment that I don't want to have children.

2. Asked the waitress if the french fries were made from potato. Unable to explain that what I meant was did they make the french fries fresh, in-house, or did they have a bag of pre-cut french fries that they throw in the fryer. Laughter and eye-rolling from Dad. I'm just glad my uncle wasn't there; he already has a french fry story about me.

Ohmywordiftheneighbor'sdogdoesn'tstopbarking

Look, I love dogs, and as someone who grew up with shelties, I understand that sometimes they have days when they're a little bit barky. Or a lot barky. But on those days, if you own a barky dog, maybe you should close your windows. That's all I'm saying. Just close the windows.




On a side note, this quote from the Wikipedia article on shelties is spot-on:
"Care should be taken when using gasoline powered yard care equipment in the presence of Shelties...The strong herding instinct quickly comes into play, but subsides just as quickly as the Sheltie finds that his/her job has been done."

My parents' current sheltie tries to herd the lawn-mower when Dad is pushing it while it's not on (when it is on, she just barks at it. A lot. See earlier note about understanding that sometimes a dog gets a bit barky). She runs and runs around it in typical herding movements while Dad pushes it across the yard, but as soon as he gets it to the storage shed, the efforts to herd stop. And then she looks at us as if to say that she's very proud of herself for a job well done. I don't know, maybe you have to be there to see it, but it's hilarious. It's a lot like this, only with a lawn mower instead of sheep.

Incident Report, May 18-19, 2008

1. Banged hand on doorway

2. Mystery bruise on knee

3. Got whipped in the face by Wally’s rapidly-thwacking ears. It hurt, y’all.

4. Spilled soapy water on myself while washing dishes

5. Picked at bump on my arm until it got all red and irritated. Typical.

6. Behind on my thesis (yes, again).

7. Got whupped at Wii Tennis by my dad, and then again by my sister.

On my afternoon so far

Ich habe hunger, aber ich kann nicht essen. Or rather, I can eat, but I'm not going to eat because I’m saving my calories for dinner. *Sigh*. Dieting is even less fun than working on my thesis.

By the way, I haven’t had a German class in 12 years, so I don't guarantee that the above sentence is correct. Also, I think my thesis has become like Amy Archer’s Pulitzer. You could start making bets on whether I’ll mention it.

Pitiful

My daily food intake, per dailyplate.com.

Holy Pet Peeve Blog, Batman!

Today, I "visited" the "website" for The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and "found" a "link" to a "blog" about one of my biggest "pet peeves."

Hurray! Oh, pardon me. I meant, "Hurray!"



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If/Then Statements

If I sleep with my window open, then the lawn care guys will show up in the morning (with their obnoxiously-loud, wasteful, gas-guzzling lawn care equipment) and will use their ridiculous air blower thingy to blow leaves off my front porch, never mind the fact that I have a broom standing right there, as if to tell them “I sweep leaves off my porch on a regular basis, so there's no need to use your ridiculous air blower thingy.”

Else if I sleep with my window open, then it will rain.

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