Happy New Year, Everyone!

In celebration of the new year, here is a clip from The Hudsucker Proxy of Norville Barnes (played by Tim Robbins) having a bad New Year's Eve and trying to get a martini from a character played (very briefly) by Steve Buscemi. I'm posting it because it's my favorite Steve Buscemi role ever, and that's saying a lot, since I thought he was fantastic in 28 Days. He does such a great job as a beatnik.

(On a side note, Have Suitcase, Will Travel -- I miss you! If you were still active in the blog world, you'd leave a lovely beatnik/Clue-related comment).

Incident Report, 12-16-2010

Things have been incident-y lately. Well, sort of. Monday a week ago, here was my day:

1. Arrived at work about 10 minutes late.
2. Opened up email, and my calendar popped up a reminder that I had a doctor’s appoint in 15 minutes. Doctor’s office is 45 minutes away. Called to cancel doctor’s appointment.
3. Went downtown to pick up tax certificates to file a plat. Was told the tax certificates wouldn’t be ready that day and I would have to come back.
4. Went to Starbucks for a compensatory coffee and waited patiently, and then impatiently, while the barista flirted with a co-worker who was distracting her, causing her to first get my order wrong and then forget about my order completely. Eventually another barista thought to ask me what drink I was waiting for.
5. Couldn’t find car in parking garage. Went to three different levels before I found it, with poor, not-feeling-well JLR trudging along beside me.


Came down with a cold over the weekend. It made me miserable, but I had too much work to do to stay home (although I did leave work 30 minutes early this past Monday).

So around the day of the missed doctor’s appointment and lost car in the parking garage, I noticed a spot appear on my abdomen that looked to me like maybe it was a hive. I have limited experience with hives, and I chalked it up to stress since I’d been working late a lot and have had a pretty tough schedule at work lately. Then, a few days later, another one appeared. And then a third. All on different parts of my body. I looked up pictures of ringworm online, just to be safe, and it didn’t look like that’s what I had. Went back to thinking it was hives. Scheduled appointment with allergist. Talked to my mom on the phone two nights ago and described the problem to her. She said, “I’ve never known anyone to get just one hive at a time. Ever.” I’ve known people to get just one hive, but I guess people don’t usually get one and then another one a few days later.

Went to the allergist today. She peered at the spots, touched them, gave me a look, and said, “Yeah, that’s not hives.”

Apparently, I have a fungus.

Bother.

Startling Food Realization Today

Today, JLR and I realized we like candied ginger and ginger-flavored candy more than we like chocolate.

Very, very strange for us.

Stop. Talking. to. Yourself.

Do it. Your co-workers will thank you.


In other news, third graders from the local elementary school toured city hall today, and I welcomed them into my office, giant aerial map in hand, eager to talk about planning. The first question out of their mouths? They wanted to know why my office is so messy.

At least they didn't ask me how old I am or how much I'm paid, which is what two lucky co-workers were asked.

It's Not Pink Eye.

It's just irritated, that's all.

No need to worry.




*

Ginger Spit Ouch

Accidentally aspirated some ginger-filled spit today. Coughed, of course, as one does in such cases. It burns, y'all. It burns.


*

Recent chat with Impatientchicken

[13:49] bee: Yo.

[13:49] bee: What up?

[13:50] bee: Saw that you were logged in. I just logged in to see if I could catch [friend from grad school] for a minute. I don't know when he logs in, but it's never at the same time as me. Aaaanywho, just sayin' howdy.

[13:50] bee: Howdy!

[13:50] chicken: whadup!

[13:50] chicken: I have a korean question for you!

[13:52] bee: Lay it on me!

...[chicken asks, and bee answers]...

[13:59] bee: Hotdog, I could answer a question.

[13:59] bee: I feel good.

[14:00] chicken: It took me a minute to realize that you were saying "hotdog" as an exclamation.

[14:00] bee: Ha!

[14:00] bee: Hahahahahahahahahahah

[14:00] bee: It says "hotdog"

[14:00] bee: Trust me.

[14:00] chicken: :)

[14:01] chicken: Actually, it's better than that. FIRST I thought you were saying that she said hotdog.

[14:01] chicken: Then I thought you were using one of your famous nonsequitors. randomly saying "hotdog" (like maybe you wanted one?) and then, "I could answer a question," as in, if you have one, I could answer it. Then I thought maybe you meant, if you had a hotdog, you could answer a question.

[14:02] chicken: and THEN I figured out what you meant.

[14:02] chicken: So my thoughts were, "that does not say hotdog," (2) ???, and (3) I'm sorry you don't have a hotdog.

[14:03] chicken: And THEN I figured out that you had answered my question and were excited. But for a few minutes there, it was really interesting.

[14:03] chicken: well, seconds, not minutes.

[14:06] chicken: And also, for about a nanosecond, I wasn't sure that you weren't calling me a hotdog.

Why Are So Many People Against A-Few-Hours-Old Coffee?

Conversation with co-worker, as I walked into the office late this afternoon from the general direction of the break room:

Co-worker: [with suspicion] Are you drinking old coffee?
Me: It's not old. It's from today.
Co-worker: [pause] I made it late in the morning. I'll give you this one.

*

So Far This Morning

The alt + left arrow key feature on my computer isn't working this morning, and it really bothers me that I have to move my mouse all the way over to the back arrow on web browsers. We lazy people like our shortcuts.

But now it's been 30 minutes since taking my medication and it's finally time for breakfast! Wheeeeee!

All That Effort, and Nothing to Show for It.

Yesterday, I had a meeting at 10:00, and I figured I'd prepare for it in the morning when I got to work. I didn't have anything else on my calendar, so I mentally reserved the time between 8:00 and 10:00 for meeting prep. But not too long after I'd sat down at my desk, my boss came in and said, "I have a meeting at 9:30. Can you make a developer packet for me?" And I thought, "Oh, that's what I'm doing this morning." And the rest of the day went like that.

Today was our office health fair! We had the results of our fitness challenge. Although I didn't win the challenge, I did walk more than my supervisor, so he had to wear my school colors to the health fair. All that hard work was worth it...if only it had made some difference in my actual physical appearance. Still the same size. Still can't fit those clothes I bought on sale last month because they juuuuuuust managed to fit, before I gained a couple of pounds.

And then I found out that I came in 2nd place in the fitness challenge!

And then I had toffee for lunch.

In other news, nothing interesting in going on with me.

(But the good news is that the toffee was recently found in the office fridge by a co-worker. I'd forgotten all about it! Sweet! Don't worry, it was still good.)

Lately

Went to New York. Had fun. Ate at some places with allergy-free (for me) food.
Went to San Antonio for a conference. Hotel was...okay. But ate at two restaurants that have allergy-free (for me) food.

At the post office, bought stamps, and when the post office employee asked me which stamps I wanted, I lied and said I wanted the painting ones (forget which). Although they were pretty stamps, what I really wanted was the Negro league baseball stamps, but since I'm white and the post office employee was African-American, I felt I'd be one of those "I'll prove to you that I appreciate your heritage" kind of people, and couldn't do it. Blah. Felt silly and wished I'd had the nerve to ask for the stamps I really wanted.

Not happy to be back at work after two weeks away. Also, and I'm not trying to make a joke out of this, I am serious about this beginning to seem like an issue to be concerned about:
Two weeks ago, one co-worker's grandmother passed away. Last week, one of my colleagues passed away unexpectedly. The week before that, another co-worker's spouse passed away. And this past weekend, another co-worker's father-in-law died. I'm starting to wonder if my office is under some sort of attack, and I'm only about 5% kidding when I say that.

Saw "Man from Nowhere" last weekend. It was fantastic. Very violent, and I had to not only close my eyes but plug my ears a few times, but also really, really well-done.

Incident Report, 8-17-10

First of all, it's been so long since I last posted anything that I forgot my login ID.

1. Went to visit BF/R the last week, a three hour drive. Made it all the way to her city limits without spilling a thing. A few miles in to the city, spilled coffee all over my linen pants.

2. Had dinner with a friend last night. She accidentally spilled her water glass, and almost all 12 ounces or so landed on me. Not one drop landed on her.

3. Gave presentation at city council meeting the other night and used the word "hooligans." Looked up to see city council member about to break into laughter, told him not to laugh at me. After the meeting, the council member, the mayor, and a Planning & Zoning Commissioner came up to me (separately) to make fun of me for using that word.

4. Dropped a piece of ginger candy in my car somewhere, and it has probably melted into the floor.

5. As I was leaving work today, walked across our small parking lot toward where I thought my car was. A co-worker said, "Where are you going? Your car's over there."

6. Accidentally cut my wrist (mildly) on broken t.v. antenna. Stupid rabbit ears.

7. Offended my mother by not telling her I had my esophagus dilated again until after the procedure was already over.

Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille Day, everyone!

Last night, JLR and I spared the life of a little bug crawling across the kitchen floor. This made us happy. Later, we saw it trapped in a spider web, with spider almost upon it. This made us sad.

But on the other hand, we found some ice cream JLR can eat. This makes us happy. It also makes us fat, which makes us sad--but happy-sad, which is better than just plain sad.

I'm going to drink some coffee now.


*

Incident Report, June 14, 2010

1. As I was about to leave for work, cat gets sick. Time spent cleaning up after cat takes up those few minutes separating "on time for work" from "late for work."
2. Went home on lunch break to check on cat. Large dead "waterbug" on floor. Decided to sweep up dead bug, which was, in fact, only mostly dead. Deadish bug flipped over and scurried a bit. Tried to squish it with swiffer. Failed. Vaccuumed up bug. Also vaccuumed up sister's sock.
3. Late returning from lunch.
4. In closing car door after arrival at office, accidentally stuck my hand on part of door with bird poo.

On the day before, banged knee into storage chest. Ten minutes later, banged it on same chest, again.


*

But They're So Good

How many Reed's Ginger Candy Chews is too many for one day? What do you think?

I've had, um, just over a dozen. That's a lot of ginger chews. But is it too many? I tried to resist eating so many (well, sort of), but they're just so irresistible.

And at least this time I didn't overeat nut butter. JLR's co-worker put the fear of Gall Bladder Removal in me, so for the time being I've cut back on all things extra fatty, but she didn't say anything about losing organs due to too much sugar intake.


*

I Hate Spring

I used to love spring. So pretty, so green, so refreshing. Everything new and bright and clean! And I still love spring for about 2 or 3 days, right when it first gets going in full swing. And then the hate starts in. I'm not allergic to the pollen, but the constant change in the weather irritates my nasal passages and gives me all the allergic-type reactions just the same. And then there's the tornadoes. And then...those dadgum baby birds. A week or so ago, I rescued a hatchling that had fallen out of its nest, but usually we're not so fortunate. Usually spring involves several days of coming home and finding already dead baby bird on the ground by where we park our cars. Coming home after a hard day at work, one hopes to find something a bit more uplifting.

Spring also makes the bugs come out in large quantities. And today, when I was digging in the ground behind our deck to see if the sweet potato plants from last year had produced any actual sweet potatoes, I uncovered something under a pile of leaves that looked very much like a vertebral (?) bone. And then another one. And another one. And as my gaze shifted to the right, I saw what looked like hip bone from a large cat-sized or smallish dog-sized animal.

Not. cool. Wedged right up against our deck. Not cool.

And I get that there's a cycle of life and that animals (including people) live and die all the time, but whatever, does it have to be right where I garden, right where I try to grow vegetables?

Not that I'm blaming spring for the dead animal, but still.
*

Incident Report -- Lately

I haven't been keeping up with a daily log, but here are some of the incidents that have occurred lately:

1. Spilled my breakfast on my pants (while at work).
2. Spent quite a bit of time ironing my shirt one night, but I hadn't been at work for long the next day when it looked like instead of ironing it, I had balled it up and stomped on it repeatedly.
3. I didn't want to get out the iron for my pants in the morning, so I used the flat iron. This had worked before, but this time I must have had styling products on the flat iron because it smudged something down the front of my pants.
4. Smudged my nail polish. So that I could go ahead and leave for work, painted over the smudge instead of removing the polish and starting over. Put lunch in fridge at work and smudged the polish.
5. Came home on lunch break to find a (still living) baby bird on the ground. Put it back in the nest.
6. Took a sip of water, spilled water down the front of my shirt.
7. Got in to my car to go to work, and something floated in to the car and landed on my pants. Attempted to brush it off the pants. Smeared the whatever it was on to the pants.
8. City council member walked in to my office while I was talking to myself.
9. On the same day as Item 8, co-worker saw me talking to myself in the parking lot.
10. Came home on lunch break to find dead baby bird on the ground.
11. Went to allergist for environmental allergy testing. Results were that I am allergic to rabbit but not pollen, dust, mold, trees, or anything like that, but that I do have vasomotor rhinitis. In other words, strong smells, changes in barometric pressure, and that sort of thing could cause what seems like an allergic reaction. JLR said that was bad because it meant I couldn't get shots to get rid of the sneezing and congestion. I said, "Whatever, sister. I do not care about such things as allergy shots because I am invincible! I can spend all day outside and not feel a thing because I am INVINCIBLE!" And then we had a lot of rapid weather changes, and I spent all yesterday sneezy and congested. Pride goeth before a fall, y'all.


And also, my eyebrows are becoming unsightly again. Must pluck soon.



*

New Year's Resolution

It's New Year's Resolution time for me. You know those people who make the same resolution year after year, hoping this time they'll really stick with it (the whatever it is they swear they're actually going to accomplish)? I'm one of those people. My resolution comes not in January, but in late spring. Every year, without fail, I think 'This is it. This is the year I will garden successfully.' No, I don't seriously believe that all my plants will make it. But I do believe that I will tend to my plants carefully, accurately diagnose problems when they arise, and treat plants as needed to eliminate pests and climate-related ailments--even though a voice in the back of my mind reminds me that I'm not the outdoorsy type and am unlikely to spend much time gardening once the temperature rises above 90.

This year is no exception.

Yesterday, I planted six cherry tomato plants. I already had planted a regular tomato plant and a bell pepper plant, and one of my pepper plants from last year is coming back [!]. The cherry tomatoes, well, they look a little sad already. I had them outside in their little pots, waiting until I had time to put them into bigger pots. They were up on a ledge to protect them from whatever it is that sometimes digs up my plants, but I forgot about the wind. When I went outside yesterday, I saw that they had all fallen off the ledge and looked miserable. Going into action right away, I quickly repotted them and watered them well, but today they still don't look so hot.

Bother.

Maybe I need to play them some Pink Martini.


*

Eat Like Us for a Day Challenge 2010

Hello, People Who Read My Blog! I'm posting a request for you to participate in Eat Like Us for a Day Challenge 2010. The two people who still read my blog I also communicate with in other ways, so you've probably already heard about this, but just in case someone else happens to stop here for a moment, I'm posting some information about the event.

Here's how the Atlanta/North Georgia American Partnership for Eosinophilic Disorders Support Group describes it:

Can you imagine life without food? Could you cope?

Could you help your child to cope?

Eosinophils (eos) are white blood cells and are a component of your immune system which normally play a role in fighting parasitic infections. They can also play a role in allergic diseases as well. In patients with eosinophilic diseases, eosinophils are inappropriately called to areas which normally do not contain eosinophils or present in areas that do contain eosinophils, but do so significantly exaggerated numbers. It is thought that these eosinophils then cause damage by releasing inflammatory chemicals, normally intended for infectious organisms, on normal body tissues. Eosinophilic diseases are an emerging and quickly expanding field of study...Treatments may include dietary modification, formulas, systemic steroids, oral topical steroids, or leukotriene/mast cell agents. New therapies are emerging as well.

Many people with Eosinophilic disorders must maintain strict diets. Sometimes only one or two kinds of foods are able to be safely consumed. Many patients survive without any food at all, by drinking elemental formulas or by consuming them through a tube inserted directly into the stomach.

I'm blessed that my condition is nothing like what is described above; that said, however, I do have a restricted diet. I have to avoid corn, wheat, barley, rye, and soy. My allergist says I may have wheat, barley, rye, and soy in limited quantities, but after having dysphagia in inconvenient places a couple of times, I've chosen to avoid them entirely. If eating those foods means there will be one more time when I have to excuse myself from the table (whether eating with family or attending a networking lunch in a restaurant) to go stick my finger down my throat and cough up what I've just eaten, I'd rather do without. And many, many thanks to the one family member who has patiently helped me deal with this (ahem, *JLR*) and who reminds me that, oh, I don't know, maybe I should see my doctor every now and again.

If you decide to join me, read the labels at the grocery store very carefully. Here's a list of corn-derived ingredients: http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php.

If you take the challenge, be prepared also to avoid almost every restaurant and all fast food.

Here's a facebook page for the event: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=313283326802.

I will greatly appreciate anyone out there who participates with me.

*

Vertical Pack Green Beans

A year (or so) ago, I saw these in the grocery store and wanted to buy them. I don’t remember the conversation, but I’m reasonably sure JLR made one of two remarks: either (1) ‘Hey, if you’re actually interested in green beans, let’s go for it’; or (2) ‘Sure. Why not? We both know you’re not really going to eat them, but since I like green beans, let's buy them anyway, I’ll eat them.’

Fast-forward a year (or so), and no one has eaten the Vertical Pack Green Beans. To tell you the truth, I think we're both a little afraid of them. At the time of purchase, I thought, ‘These green beans are different! Their being packed vertically means they will someone taste different from regular green beans!’ But once they were in my home, the realistic side of my brain took over and said, ‘No, they won’t. No matter how you pack them, they’re still green beans.’

And I can’t bring myself to get rid of them.

Comments on K-Pop, Part 1: The Bad Boy

Look, if you look like you're about, oh, 16 years old, and you're in a boy band, you shouldn't refer to yourself as a 'bad boy.' You're only setting yourself up for mockery. This is, of course, in addition to the mockery you will already experience merely for being in a boy band.

Now, granted, I don't speak Korean, so maybe you didn't say you were a bad boy. Maybe you said, "Some people think I'm a bad boy, but I'm not, so please love me," or "I'm so glad I'm not some stupid bad boy." But I doubt it, and I cannot take you seriously. You sing that line, and I snicker, "All right. Sure. We'll go with that."

And don't even get me started on men who use the term "my lady."

Rain, on the other hand? If he wants to sing pop music, and if wants to say he's a bad boy, that is fine with me, because the man himself is just fine with me. He is fine. I feel kind of like a gross old woman for saying than since I think he's just barely above the age of consent, but still. Man (he's only six years younger than me! That's not too much, right? No. Sadly, you're right. It is too much).

Besides, he was in Ninja Assassin, and even though that's just a movie, I'm pretty sure he could kick my behind and the behinds of most of the people I know.

*

In Other Gardening News

The peppermint plant is definitely dead. The rosemary, however, was managing to hang on--though just barely. Encouraged, I bought a bell pepper plant last weekend, which we named Douglas (although he is not a runner bean plant). It made it through the week indoors, and on Sunday I did the right thing by the plants and repotted them, used both mulch and compost, and placed them outside, where they could have plentiful sunshine.

This evening, I peeked outside to see if both plants were still alive. Y'all, something pulled out the rosemary. My little rosemary plant! It's been yanked out of its pot!

I'm worried for Douglas.



-

One Way to Make Sure I Don't Work Late

Our code compliance officer, who is only a few years away from retirement, thinks I work too many hours. As he was leaving on Friday, he told me he was having my car towed at 5:15. I think he was only half joking.




*

In Memory of Dixie Carter

One of my favorite clips of Ms. Carter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NclMJGQrCek

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

*

The Peppermint Has A Friend

We recently acquired a little rosemary plant. If we can keep that one alive, too, who knows what we'll do next?! Look out, (gardening) world!


*

It's Time for the Annual Birthday Confusion!

Howdy, y'all. My friend Hils' birthday is on Wednesday. It's on February 10th. I know this because she mentioned it in an email to me today. I also know this because it's on my calendar already from last year. It's a source of confusion to me every year. You see, for some reason, I cannot disabuse my mind of the idea that her birthday is not on February 9th. So every year I have this same conversation with myself:

Self: [looking at calendar] February 10th? That can't be right. Her birthday is on the 9th. Hmm. But I wrote it down on as the 10th. Is it the 10th? No, it can't be.

It is at this point that I usually involve JLR. "Is Hils' birthday on the 9th or the 10th?" I ask. To which she replies:

"It's the 9th, isn't it?"

So happy birthday, Hils, albeit a day early! Or right on time! But probably a day early!

Incident Report, 2-5-10

1. Spilled tea on menu and table at restaurant (but just a little bit)
2. Spilled coffee on hand
3. Spilled food off plate onto table
4. Spilled water on self
5. Spilled coffee on hand, again
6. Ran into doorway
7. Did all of the above while on a date.

*

Incident Report, 2-3-2010

1. Spilled tea on myself 3 times
2. Almost fell out of my chair while rolling away from my desk
3. Gave myself the shakes from drinking too much coffee
4. Failed to clear wall
5. Almost spilled coffee on myself--but just got a little on my chin instead
6. Co-worker mocked my lack of upper body strength by asking if I needed help carrying a box of plastic cups.
7. City council member mocked my lack of upper body strength. I told him about the chin-up bar I want to buy, and he asked if I was planning to use it as a clothesline.

And in other news, the peppermint plant still lives! It might need to be moved to a bigger pot, though.


*

Take the Shot

About a week and a half ago, I noticed that the pinky finger on my right hand looked a bit irritated--red and slightly puffy. I thought at first that it was just my usual dry, wintry-old-lady hands. But then I noticed that even when the rest of my fingers looked normal, this one did not. After checking with several websites and JLR, I decided to pay a visit to a doctor. Just in case. Not that I thought there was anything really wrong, but, you know, I didn't want to lose a finger because I thought the problem would go away on its own and left it untreated. Mistakenly thinking a medical problem is getting better (when it most definitely is not) is more JLR's thing.

But as it turns out, my finger was infected. I don't know how or when it happened. I didn't have any stuff oozing out of my finger, but infected it was just the same. So the doctor put me on antibiotics and a steroid. She offered me an antibiotics shot to get treatment off to a big start, which I declined. I didn't want to overdo it on the medication, you see. I guess I forgot that one should never take lightly an infection...but the doctor didn't. And when I came back a couple of days later for a follow-up visit, I was given another antibiotic to take, since I hadn't taken the shot. I don't know if it was one the medicines or the combination, but something did not sit well. So during the next week I had alternating bouts of nausea and shakiness and exhaustion.

At work I acted like EVERYTHING IS OKAY, NO NEED TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME, and so, of course, no one did. And so of course I didn't feel like I could take any sick time, especially since someone else would have had to take over a project that was due on Friday.

Yuck.

The point of this post is simply this: when the doctor offers, take the shot.



*