Incident report, since this past weekend

1. Knocked sticky notes off of desk.
2. Dropped cell phone.
3. Knocked over bottle of saline solution.
4. Hit head on lamp post.
5. Literally ran into friend while shopping. Twice.
6. Accidentally punched fellow shopper in the arm.
7. Spilled baby food all over pants leg while giving medicine to Wally (not my fault! He did it!)
8. Spilled unknown substance (probably frosting) on jeans.

New Language Setting

I'm just trying it for a short while, 'tay-'tay? Then we'll be back to French as usual. Pomise.





-

I'm remembering now that my advisor said she spent a lot of time baking during this same point in her life

I'm for real going to work on my paper now, y'all. For real.




And by "my paper," I mean "my thesis."



(Don't panic! Don't panic!)

More on Being Ill; and Also, Some Incidents

If you’ve read Impatientchicken lately, you know that I’ve been ill. I’m blessed with a hearty constitution—isn’t that how they used to put it—and don’t get sick very often. This means, of course, that when I do get sick, I become rather mopey and sad and, basically, unable to cope with doing anything more than feeling sorry for myself. I have therefore been avoiding posting to my blog.

See how I always have an excuse for not posting more often?

Anyhow, since jlr and I have both been ill, I’ve been amused at our mutual attempts to boss the other one around. When one of us is ill, the other one shifts into Bossy Nurse mode, becoming rather like the person Anne Cattrell described when she said, “I saw her on The World at War, and she wasn’t fighting for the Allies.” When jlr and I are both ill, then, it becomes a contest about who does a better job of insisting that the other one is more ill and therefore in need of more care (and thus more bossing around). I’ll admit that jlr had the upper hand at first because she didn’t get sick as soon as I did. I’ll also admit to standing in my closet with the door closed to take my temperature because I suspected that my fever had not gone away (it hadn’t), and I didn’t want jlr to know about it—and if she had heard the thermometer beeping, she would have demanded to know what my temperature was. Soon, however, the tables turned. As I got better, jlr’s cold grew worse. I think she might have had a bit of an infection. Might still have, in fact. So now I’m waiting for her to get home so I can boss her around some more. She didn’t go to bed early enough last night. I’ll have to do a better job of monitoring her tonight. I’ve kind of slacked off lately. Bad, rr, bad.

And for those of you who miss the incident reports, I’ll tell you that I hit myself in the head with the phone the other day. It hurt...and it made me mad at the phone. I did have an incident report list going, but I can’t find it. Here are two things, though, that I remember from the list:

1. Tripped over Wally. Did not spill tea!

2. Tripped on phone cord. Spilled tea.

Tell Jocelyn, Got Me, Too

I might have finally caught that winter-time cold I've been dodging for months. Boo! Boo, I say!

Of course, I might just be tired and will wake up tomorrow feeling much better. Let us hope.


-

As If I Didn't Already Have Enough Ways to Waste My Time

Lately, I've been watching a lot of programs on the Internet. For example, I've been watching Full House. No, not that Full House. This Full House. And also, jlr and I have been enjoying Overboard. No, not that Overboard. This Overboard.

And also, as if they've tapped into my brain and figured out what I think has been missing from Internet-available television, there's now this (Book 'em, Dano!).


-

I Need to Vacuum

Wally just ate something off the floor.

"What are you eating?" I asked him. "Drop it! Drop it right now!"

He just chewed faster.

"WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" I asked again.

He swallowed.

"What?" he meowed, all attiduninally.


-

Word Games

The word verification for a comment I posted to someone's blog today was "misjue." I was uber pleased, y'all; it's so very Mad Gabs.

As in, "Oh, Tanya, we misjue at the picnic last week. I wish you could have been there."


Eggs sell lent.

-

Dear Fruit,

You're wonderful, and I love you.

Faithfully yours,
RR

Incident Report, Week of 1-13-08

1. Dropped jar of eye cream, which spilled out all over the counter.
2. Dropped container of cranberries, spilling cranberries all over the stove.
3. Tripping going upstairs.
4. Punched self in neck.
5. Spilled coffee in purse.

Wally is Snoring

Wally, who is taking up two-thirds of my chair (the most comfortable two-thirds, at that), is snoring.

It's a good thing he's so cute.



The new semester starts tonight! I'm not excited about it, but going to class is on my to-do list for today, and when I come home, I'll get to cross it off. It's the little things, right, folks?

The Latest Round of Complaints

So, I had made the decision to be a more positive person. This was not a New Year’s Resolution but rather stemmed from two things: (1) I’m tired of being stressed all the time, and if I were more positive, maybe things wouldn’t bother me so much, and (2) believe it or not, some tapes my grandmother gave me that point out how easy it is not to stress about little things. I had been making remarkable progress (for me). But then.

Oh, but then.

Our project for my environmental planning class needed some revisions over Christmas break before we turned the final report in to the group on behalf of which it was written, and the changes need to be made by a certain date (today). I spend a very large chunk of my break making changes to the thing because the majority of my teammates couldn't be bothered. Never mind the fact that they PLAGIARIZED (as it turns out, it was more than one person using that particular style of writing). They couldn’t be bothered with the revisions. And as I don’t want to turn in bad work that could get us kicked out of school, I made the changes myself. Two other students on the team (the ones who didn’t plagiarize) said they would help but were in reality only a tiny bit of help.

I’m having some unkind, very unpositive thoughts about two certain Ph.D. students right now.

Why Am I Still at Work?

I'm going to miss Perry Mason.


Boo.





-

Digital camera

JLR and I bought a digital camera (finally), so expect to see a lot more of this:



And by "a lot more," you know I don't mean that I'll be posting more frequently, right? Right. 'Cause you've noticed the infrequent posting. All three of you.

Dear Lia,

As I take an afternoon blog tour, I see from the trail of your comments that you are doing the same. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one procrastinating.

Yours,
RR
P.S. You'll notice that, unlike you, I'm too lazy to post any comments.

Wally knows how to negotiate.

Wally and I had a stand off the other day.

He wanted me to share my tuna with him. I set it down on top of my printer for a moment while getting my study things together. He jumped on my desk and headed straight for my bowl. When I told him "no," he dutifully turned around from my bowl...and then sat down.

On my book. The one that I needed to study.




Here's a close-up of his game face.



As you can see, the desk is a mess. There was no way to extricate the book with Wally causing everything else on my desk to go tumbling down.

He is a skilled negotiator, that cat.

Tij = AiBjOiDjdij-b

And also, Sij = ΣiCiAjFj^aDij-b = ΣiSij.

I miss my theory classes.

Can't I just write another paper?

Sigh.

Back to the flashcards.

Sij = ΣiCiAjFjaDij-b = ΣiSij

Thinking + Tired = Not Really Thinking After All

It's 1 A.M., and I still have a lot of work to do before I can go to bed so I can get up (later) in the morning and study some more. My lips are chapped, and I'm staring at a tube of chapstick that jlr left on my desk, wondering if she'd mind if I used it. And then I realize that it's my chapstick; it's the chapstick that Hils sent me as part of my finals care package. And I think, "Oh."

It's still wrapped. Too much effort to unwrap. Bummer.

Does anyone remember what I was going to look up online?




-

Dear Deals, Tell Me If This Sounds Familiar

We had to do a group project in one of my planning classes. There's a woman in my group who, while she seemed really nice at first, managed to be remarkably unhelpful to the project. We had to ask her repeatedly for the information she was supposed to supply to the group. When she missed the scheduled "exchange information so we can compile one report" date by a week, and when we asked her for the information for what was, I don't know, the third or fourth time (AND THE LAST TIME WAS ON THE DAY BEFORE OUR PAPER WAS DUE), she acted like she didn't know what we were talking about. And then when she did get it to us, it was unusable. And then when we didn't use much of her work in the final project, she got mad at us and scheduled a meeting with our professor to lodge a complaint. Not so nice after all.

Sound like anyone you have to work with, Deals?

Stood Up

A classmate and I have to interview people who provide cultural programming at places that might not be thought of as cultural resources (ex., churches that have dance groups). We had an interview with a senior community that has a choir. It had taken a bit of finangling to get this interview, as the interviewee didn't seem particularly interested in our project, but we needed this interview, by golly, so I persisted. We set an interview date and time. On the correct day, at the correct time, my classmate and I drove the 30 minutes to the interview site, walked in, and said that we were there to see [interviewee's name]. The person who greeted us said, "I'm sorry she's on vacation this week."

Picture me flabbergasted.

Finals Time. Yea.

In case you were wondering why I've been posting even less than usual, it's because finals are right around the corner. I have a project due Monday. The next week, I have an exam on Monday, a project due on Tuesday, an assignment due Thursday, and an exam due on Thursday. Somewhere in that time frame, I need to squeeze in about 6 interviews for one of my projects. The only one I've really started working on is the project due on Monday. The other project has me a little bit nervous because (a) it should be around 30 pages, which would be no big deal except we've only got about, oh, two pages done so far and (b) it's a group project, and two of my teammates are slackers. They're slackers, people. It's been like pulling teeth just to get them to do the work they've done so far, and I don't have time to hold their hands. Only I have to hold their hands because group project = group grade. If they do a bad job, I get a bad grade. Sigh.
And if you think I've complained a lot so far, wait 'til it gets a bit closer to the due date. There will be much more complaining. It's my finals coping mechanism (which reminds me, I need more coffee).

Also, on Thanksgiving, I helped make the gravy, and I dropped the whisk. It splattered gravy on my left shoe and pants leg. Mom laughed. A lot. Also, I ate half an apple pie. And two bags of peanut butter cups.

My Favorite Quote from Today

" Moving too slow to be measured by the eye of man, the Great Meat Glacier pushed inexorably south."

(featured in the Meat! Meat! Meat! Part 2 section on one of my favorite websites)




-

Oh, Yuck

No time to wash my hair. Must meet with professor. Hope meeting is short enough that I can sneak away and do the reading assignment for his class this afternoon. Plus, must make flyers for GIS day. Also, not panicking about trying to squeeze in 9 interviews with arts people before the end of the semester. Not panicking about the amount of work I have left to do before finals.

Okay, that's not true. I am panicking.

And my hair stinks.




-

Apparently, I Can't Do Very, Very Simple Math

And in other news, my planning techniques & administrative analysis mid-term exam is now over.




-

So Good

Misarang Hatsal Rice Crackers....mmmm.......



And these are the ones I overate yesterday:

Bleh

Tongue dry. Ate too many rice cookies. Talking difficult. Tongue very, very dry. Bleh.




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All Right. Who Was It?

Now, I'm not saying that someone--some invisible someone--drank my coffee. I'm just saying that there isn't as much coffee in my mug as I think there ought to be, and I didn't drink it.


So who was it?


-

Incident Report, the past few days

1. Failed to clear doorway
2. Punched self in jaw with box from Target
3. Knocked glasses askew with car door
4. Bumped head on door
5. Dropped roll of paper towels on floor
6. This one I can't remember, but that may have something to do with the fact that I keep hitting my head.

Dear Conference Organizers,

Tonight, classmate Sue told me about the silvery-inked pen she found in the bag you gave her at the conference yesterday. I attended the conference today. When I returned home from class this evening, I checked my bag, and there was no silvery-inked pen. Classmate Sue spoke highly of the silvery-inked pen. She told me how nice the writing looked when the pen was used with the blue sticky notes you handed out (which I do have). I would like to have a silvery-inked pen, please.

(What's that you say? That I cleaned out my pen collection this weekend and said I didn't need any more pens? Shhhh.......)

-

Snapshot of my day so far

Oversleep. Get up in time to get dressed, have breakfast, and turn on the computer before my professor calls to discuss a project. Tell him I will have the changes he recommended made in a couple of hours. Seven hours later, I’m still working on it. I was going to finish writing a paper today, but I might as well put that off. My professor thinks my classmates and I will be up all night working on it before it’s due on Tuesday; we might as well live up to his prediction.

The cats do not like their new food and have been bugging me all day to give them the old stuff. I tell them that the old stuff made them sick, but (a) they don’t speak English and (b) they don’t care. They want the old stuff.

I’m in the home stretch on the project when I hear a tell-tale cry from Gabby. I run downstairs, and, sure enough, she’s licking her lips in the way she does right before she throws up. I run into the kitchen to grab a roll of paper towels. She follows, sits down, and stares out the window. A sneaking suspicion creeps over me that her “about to throw up” symptoms were just a ploy to get me near the food bowls.

"Don’t act like you weren’t about to be sick, because you totally were,” I say to her. She casually inspects the rug. I look around the corner, and there’s Wally, big eyes staring at me, and both food bowls untouched.

I’ll admit it. They wore me down. It’s tuna tonight.

But at least it’s a Robert Cray day, so I’m happy.

Oh, Lovely Day

I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but here, it's a Robert-Cray-and-open-windows kind of day.




If you follow the link, try song 3. Fabu.



-

Dear Deals,

I saw this, and I thought of you.

Yours sincerely,
RR

P.S. D.C. Donut--I thought of you, too. I have first-hand knowledge of what Deals is going through; I reeeeaaaaally hope your situation isn't quite as bad. If it is...oh, man. That's bad.

Incident Report, Lately

1. Knocked over moisturizer bottle while reaching for hair clip
2. A bug flew into my mouth while I was talking to a classmate in the parking lot after class
3. Hit grocery store employee's foot with my grocery cart
4. I came home from class tonight with a plastic cup from the boba tea place I go to every Thursday; the intention was to recycle the plastic cup. As I came into the house, JLR gave me a look.
"[RR]," she said reprovingly, pointing to the plastic cup I brought home last week and still haven't put in the recycle bin.
5. Had the following conservation with professor:
Me: I really enjoyed Loukaitou-Sideris's article on sidewalks.
Him: Oh, really? When did you read that?
Me: Last fall in Professor Smith's class.
Him: I'm Professor Smith.
Me: [pause due to confusion followed by embarrassment] I mean, in Professor Stone's class.

Le Sigh.



-

Aye, Me Hearties, It's That Day Again!!

Happy TALK LIKE A PIRATE day, everyone!

(And thanks to Jes for being the first to comment on this before I had even posted it. You rock, Jes.)


Now, go out there and celebrate! You can start by spreading around a joke sure to amuse your co-workers (if they haven't already heard it); it's near and dear to jlr's heart because it (a) involves a pun and (b) involves one of her favorite things.

"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!" [from talklikeapirate.com]












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Studyblock

Apparently, while I was downloading Leechblock onto the computer, my brain was downloading Studyblock. No studying after 3 P.M. Nope, not going to do it. Now my brain and my computer are working at cross purposes.

Brain: I will not study. I will look at cuteoverload and icanhascheezburger.
Computer: Um, no. I've blocked those, and you can't remember your password to bypass me.
Brain: Bother! But you won't fool me! I'll think of some other way to pass the time!
Computer: No, you won't. You're not really working right now, now that it's late afternoon. You've already put yourself on standby. Here, I'll give you something to do. How about working on that art inventory your professor has been waiting for? That doesn't require much brain power.
Brain: Sigh, oh, all right...Oh, look, a website for the Visionary Arts Museum! It's not going on the inventory, but I'll spend ten minutes reading about it anyway.
Computer: Sigh. I'm going to have to shut down the Internet again, aren't I?


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How to Remove Honey from Hands While in GRA Office

1. Wipe hands on napkin. Note that hands are still sticky.

2. Use hand sanitizer. Note that hands still have honey on them.

3. Look around office to make sure no one is watching.

4. Wipe hands on pants.

Can I Add Leechblock to Leechblock?

Well, folks, only two weeks in to the new semester, and already my academic output would rate about a 7 out of 10 on the ol' Crumm-E scale.

To help increase my productivity (both quantity and quality), I've installed Leechblock. The problem is that I spend much longer than I should have just trying to find Leechblock. Moreover, I can picture myself spending a good deal of time in the next week wasting time trying to think of more sites to block myself from accessing (in other words, procrastinating...again). Grrr, RR. Grrr.

Oh, well, it's installed now, and here's hoping it will actually work.

Happy Monday, y'all!


-

I'm supposed to do something on Friday, but I don't remember what it is.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone? I believe it is a mid-day appointment.









-

Dude, I Smell Like Outside

I have a meeting with a professor (of whom I am very much in awe) in 20 minutes, and I smell like outside. Le sigh.






-

On the plus side, the Runt finally posted again! She says she's going to post pictures of her new puppy, but we shall see...

Woe to you, Fiskars!

Woe to you for cutting my finger! We were friends, but no longer. I do not trust you.

But I am impressed with how sharp you are.

-

Do You Ever Feel Like This?

http://shrinkster.com/sbn

(slightly longer version at http://shrinkster.com/sbo)

I, for one, feel this way all the time (though on a more modest scale).




-

Corn-I-cannot-copia

Or, no longer “corn-o-plenty”

I love corn. Straight off the cob or from a can, sweet kernel or cream, I do not care. I love corn products, such as popcorn, corn chips, and wonderful, wonderful corn bread. More than these, I love things made from corn products such as corn syrup. And I can no longer have these things.

You see, I am allergic to corn. Or rather, according to my newly-acquired allergist, I have a sensitivity to corn. This means that, while consuming corn will not cause anaphylaxis for me, it will cause stomach acid to enter my esophagus, which, over time, will irritate it to the point that my esophagus will begin to close…which is what happened in all these years before I discovered I had corn “sensitivity” and why I had to have my esophagus widened a couple of months back.

Now, the good news is that if I cut out all corn products from my diet for the next, say, two years, my body may forget that it has this particular allergy, and I can go back to eating corn. Maybe. The bad news is that it’s hard to find products that don’t have corn, corn syrup, or corn starch (shoot, even most baking powder is made with corn starch). I will now be spending most of my grocery money at Whole Foods, where I’ve managed to find a number of things that I can eat and that don’t also require me to spend much time in the kitchen.

I guess I should pick up with yoga again; then I can really be one of those Whole Foods people.

There are only so many places it could be.

And yet I cannot find the cord to my "fauxpod" knock-off MP3 player. Where is it?

I mean, seriously, y'all.

There are only so many places it could be.


-

Dear JLR,

I saw this, and I thought of you.




Sincerely,
impatientbee





-
Dear coffee,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...or at least the number of times I've mentioned you on my blog (with apologies for any repeats).

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24

Adoringly, affectionately, and forever,
jlr

-

Picture me waving my fist at the computer

Are you picturing it? 'Cause I am definitely shaking my fist at the computer.

Can't. write. paper.

It's just a measly three-page paper. Three pages, folks. Three.

And yet.

Oh, sure, I have four pages typed already, but they don't say anything. And don't tell me it's because pages can't talk. You know what I mean.

What is it about this particular topic that makes it so hard to write? Developers and planners working together to reach a goal, specifically the building of low-income housing. I picked the topic. You'd think I'd be able to write about it. But no. I have, essentially, eight really long paragraphs that repeat themselves. They go something like this:

Planners and developers should work together. Planners can help developers, and developers can help planners. They each have resources the other needs. They should really work together. Maybe planners could, like, be a part of the development team or something. They could, you know, identify needs. And sites. And provide funding. Maybe? And developers can provide ideas and the rest of the funding and actually build the thing. It could work, you know? Planners and developers should really work together. Oh, but there might be some obstacles. Look out for those. And work together. Go Team!

Le sigh.

Hoping your evening is going better than mine is,
The Management
(tee hee...saying that made me think of Amstaff)



-

Incident report, 7-7-07

1. While at Deals' house this weekend, I very carefully poured out a glass of Dr. Pepper for myself, sipping it down to keep it from spilling over...and then proceeded to miss my glass entirely while trying to pour out the rest of the can into my glass.

2. Dropped a bit of queso on the floor (but I cleaned it up Deals, I promise).

3. Overhead highly-medicated Deals say something about "wearing her face" (as in, she explained something to me with, "Maybe it's because I'm wearing my face.")

Incident Report, 7-5-07

1. Spilled water bottle in book bag on my way to the first day of summer class.
2. Found four mystery bruises on my left knee.
3. Butter stain on my right jeans leg.
4. Gabby threw up on JLR's bed. Although this didn't happen to me, it's certainly worth reporting.
5. Was running late for first day of class; didn't have time to wash the long-time-in-traffic sweat off of me, so applied perfume in what I know is always a futile attempt to cover up sweat smell; couldn't smell the perfume on me while driving to class so applied more; several minutes later remembered that, due to my poor sense of smell, I probably wouldn't have been able to smell the perfume unless I'd bathed in it; felt sorry for the classmate who had to sit next to me. This classmate has since dropped the class. I wonder if it's because of me.


-

Because the cough continues...

Today, Deals said to me while we were at Jamba Juice:

"I'm getting an immunity boost because I've been spending time with you."

She said this with a look on her face that was a lovely combination of sneering, suspicion, and disgust. It was a work of art. I couldn't help but be amused.

I was reminded of the sick people at work who used to be insulted when I used alcohol wipes to clean handrails and doorknobs they'd touched. Hey, I was just looking out for my health. And Deals was clearly doing the same today. Way to go, Deals. Way to be like one of the family. Hee hee. Hee hee hee hee.

Coughing, Day 6

This is the 6th day of my coughing all day due to what the doctor attributed to allergies when I went to see her last Friday.

Tomorrow, I get to go the doctor again, if the coughing has not miraculously subsided. Because the medicine bottle says I should.
"Stop use and ask a doctor if: cough lasts more than 7 days, comes back, or is accompanied by fever, rash, or persistent headache. These could be signs of a serious infection." Tomorrow will technically only be after 6 days, but I say "close enough." Also, what if it isn't accompanied by fever, rash, or persistent headache but is accompanied by a couple of hives or vomiting? The hives were on Sunday. The vomiting is today. Yea.

To be fair to my body or ailment or whatever, I do believe the vomiting is totally unrelated to the coughing. I am taking this moment of feeling better to post something. Sorry it isn't more cheerful.

Let's see. Something cheerful. Hmm. Well, it could be worse. I could be Deals and be part of a jury for a criminal case right now.

I had some incidents to report, but I've forgotten them now. I believe they mainly involved the usual dropping of things and running into doorways.



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Incident Report, Week of June...whatever week this is, 2007

1. Spilled black beans on pants
2. Mystery stains (foreign deposits) on shirt and neck (of all places)
3. Due to lack of caffeine to keep me alert on Tuesday, asked co-worker if that day "[was] a day of the week"
4. Scared Gypsy and Haskell by sharpening a pencil in my automatic pencil sharpener
5. Accidentally set off Deals' home alarm system when I left her house. Police came.

Why I Love Dogs

Picked up Deals' dogs from the Pet Hotel today. Nothing like getting a hero's welcome from two adorable, lovable dogs to make one feel like a very special person. I'm just sorry JLR had to ride with Gypsy in her lap. But, hey, JLR, at least you got a free bath out of it, right?

:)


-

On the topic of "When is RR going to take the time to update her blog?"...

Yes, that's right; long time, no blog.

I don't have access to a computer at my internship, so no opportunity to update during my lunch break. At night, JLR has been working on a project for the local bar association (at least, I think that's who it's for), and, yes, I'm just lazy. That's probably the main reason for keeping y'all in the dark.

But, on the other hand (most people have five more fingers), impatientchicken has been a-bloggin' away. So if you need something to read, go to her page. It is so choice. If you have the time, I highly recommend reading it.

As to incident reports, nothing major lately, although I did have a run of days in which I spilled coffee on myself every single day. Also, at work there's a huge column right behind my desk. It's between me and the coffee maker. Odds are good that I won't make it through the summer without running into it at least once (I've already had several near misses).



-

Happy Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday, Yuko Maekawa (who I haven't seen in so long that I forgot how to spell your last name)!

Happy Birthday, Amy Park!

Happy Birthday, Gypsy Kitty!

Help?

Folks, if any of you are handy with VBA, especially as (but not limited to) it pertains to GIS, could you help me out with my program?

(And, Deals, don't feel bad. It's not your fault that I centered my project around you. I could have done something easier.)

It's the End of the Semester, and I'll Cry If I Want To...

...but not because I'm sorry it's almost over.

Folks, do you remember--no, of course, you don't; I didn't post about it. Well, then, then let me tell you. At the start of the semester, I was excited about learning VBA (Visual Basic for Applications). I no longer am. That should tell you how my semester is going.

The Finals, They Are Approaching

The Finals, they are a-kickin' my behind.

If you don't hear from me for a while, that's why.





-

Incident Report, 4-13-07

A collection of incidents from 4-7 through 4-12

1. Banged leg on hair dryer, which was protruding from shelf
2. Tripped on rug
3. Banged leg on hair dryer
4. Scraped hand on wooden tp dispenser
5. Noticed scratch on right thigh from unknown source
6. Banged leg on hair dryer (finally moved said hair dryer)
7. Hit self in face with hanger
8. When opening yogurt container, spewed yogurt on face, neck, and hair
[note that items 2, 4, 5, 6, 6 and 7 occurred in one hour's time]

-

A Reminder to Myself on Easter

(From TobyMac)

Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...

I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me

Never would you leave me

I was made to love
and be loved by you

Yahoo Messenger Pet Peeve

Dear Acquaintance Who Shall Remain Nameless,

Okay, look. If you didn't want me to be on your messenger list, why did you ask me if I wanted to be on it? I considered it, thought "Sure, why not?" and have been waiting to be added to your list ever since.

I'm removing you from my list.
So there.




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Note to Self

When one vacuums without wearing one's glasses, one is apt to miss things. Ick.





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Lunch today

Oh, zee pasta, eet was good.
Oh, zee breath, eet ees bad.

A Bit More about Wally

Given name: Walis Olivia
Nicknames: Wally; Wally Olly; Wally Oliphant; Mr. Bun; Mr. Pitman; the Purring Mantis; Mr. Whiskers; Mr. Mooster; Woogie; Muffin; Pumpkin; Moo shu.

They Make Me Happy

Hee hee. Hee hee hee hee.

Dear Blogger,

I do not like you. I do not like being forced to switch to the new, "improved" blogger. I'd break up with you, but then you might not let me have all my posts.

Signed,
RR

I need a new word because "Crackjass" isn't strong enough

Amy is a small person. I don't what she may have said, and I don't care, because no matter what she may (or may not) have said, she did not deserve this.

For Hils and JLR: a Challenge

See if you can make the following poorly-written sentence even worse:

"The equity planning paradigm is an off-shoot, or 'spin-off,' if you will, of the advocacy planning paradigm that began in the 1960s after Paul Davidoff wrote an article about the paradigm (advocacy planning, that is)."




Good luck, ladies.

Who Really Runs This Household?

A little while ago, I sat down in my desk chair so that I could warm up the jeans I wanted to wear today. (Yes, during the winter months, I sit on my jeans before putting them on so that when I do put them on, they're nice and warm). Gabby, my cat, jumped up in my lap. When I decided the jeans should be sufficiently heated, I tried to get up, and Gabby yelled at me. She then moved over to stand on the part of my jeans that were sticking out to one side of me. I tried to grab the jeans and stand in one swift motion while she was temporarily out of my lap, but then she yelled at me again and jumped back on my lap.

So here I sit.

I need to go to the post office.



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Now You Know Something Else About Me

Sitting here listening to a Glenn Miller album has prompted me to share a life dream with you. It’s the kind of dream that you might mock, one that comes from being raised on old movies, but I don’t care. I’m going to share it anyway.

I have long wanted to be a member of a dance troupe that performs for the troops at USO’s and at other locations. I’m talking the kind of dancing you see in “Singing in the Rain,” “Good News,” “Lady of Burlesque” (minus the stripping, more the opening number and not so much the others) and all those other musicals I watched and loved as a kid.

“But, rr,” you say, “the troops don’t like that kind of thing now-a-days. It’s too old-fashioned. And moreover, you can’t dance.”

You’re right, and I don’t care. A girl can dream, can’t she?

_

Incident report, Week of Jan. 21, 2007 (so far)

1. Burned hand while making caramel frosting for Dad's birthday cake.
2. Two paper cuts.
3. Stepped on cat, who is now afraid of me.
4. Knocked water bottle and cat's medicine bottle off the counter.
5. While doing a Pilates balancing move, fell over. ("Mrow? inquired Gabby. "I'm okay," I told her.)
6. Knocked trash can against wall while trying to do another balancing move.
7. Nicked leg whilst shaving.


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Incident Report, Week of January 7, 2006

1. While pulling up bed covers, punched self in face.
2. While putting away the dishes, accidentally stepped into an empty Clementine box, stumbled forward, and set down clean spatula into my water glass, instead of into the spatula holder.
3. Tried to "crinkle" plastic bottle before putting it in recycling bin, but it uncrinkled itself and leapt out of my hand.
4. Knocked medication bottle off of nightstand.
5. While trying to hit snooze, swept alarm clock off of nightstand.
6. Knocked laptop computer into JLR's toes (laptop was propped up on her bed).

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A Pleasant Discovery

I don't think it will be a surprise to anyone that this has been added to my wish list.








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I Love McGarrett

I’m watching Hawaii Five-O, and I’m pretty sure I just heard McGarrett answer the phone with “Yello.”

When I have my own business one day, I'd better not catch one of my employees listing this as a "business expense".

The topless bar I pass on the way home from my parents’ house has wireless Internet. Good to know there’s a place where businessmen can mix business and pleasure during the lunch hour. Yeah.

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Happy Monday, Everyone!

Maybe the phone company can fix my phone today. We'll see. They didn't fix it last week when I submitted a trouble report. They seem to think my phone is off the hook. Well, Phone Company, I have checked, re-checked, and re-checked my phones, and they are all hung up appropriately. Sheesh.






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Am I Thin Yet?

Does this even happen to you? Yesterday, I exercised and I ate right (for me). I immediately expected to be thinner. Alas, if only it really worked that way.








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Does This Seem Weird to You?

I was recently tagged by Deals, and now I’m supposed to list six weird things about myself and then tag six other people. Reading over other posts in response to this tag, I realized that I don’t define weird the same way some other people do. I adhere to definitions such as those posted on Merriam-Webster online, which are as follows:

“1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : MAGICAL
2 : of strange or extraordinary character : ODD, FANTASTIC”

Think of the Weird Sisters in Macbeth. Granted, they represented the Fates, but they are also, by modern standards, weird. More than strange, they are just plain weird.

I can’t think of six weird things about me. Six things that may seem strange (as in foreign) to others, but not six weird things.

I’ve given this topic some thought, and the only thing I could come up with is the fact that I tend deliberately to pronounce words incorrectly or strangely. This isn’t just me, though; several members of my family are like this. For example, instead of “mug” (as in coffee mug), earlier today I referred that object as a “muggy-muggy-mug.” We call sugar “ragus,” which is sugar spelled backwards (Dad came up with that). Knife is pronounced “kuh-niff.” Garage is “guh-rah-guh.”

Even the above isn’t exactly weird, and if I could think of six weird things about myself, I’m not sure I would post them on the Internet. Weirdness tends to be frowned upon.

I don't have freakishly long fingers or toes, I don't sleep with two stuffed animals (just the one), and I'm not afraid of donuts. So that's it. I’m sure there’s something, but can’t think of what it is. Sorry, folks.

Also, I’m not going to tag anyone else. For one thing, I don’t think I know six people in blogland who haven’t already done this. For another, I agree with JLR that tags are like the chain letters of blogland (“You must tag six people or something horrible will happen to your blog in six days!”). Some people like to be tagged, but as much as I like to talk about myself, when it comes to tags I have Eeyore-like feelings ("Nobody wants to read this stuff about me.")

Some people like to be tagged, but since I don’t know which of you do, I’m going to say that if you weren’t tagged by Deals, and if you’re a regular reader of my blog (you know who you are, all four of you), and if you don’t mind doing this, consider yourself tagged.

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Last Final Exam of the Semester Was Tonight

Igh.





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Two Down, One to Go

First of all, let me just say that baby, it’s cold outside. I know, I know, it isn’t Canadian Tundra-level cold, but for here, it’s cold.

Moving on, today I turned in my first grad school term paper. Frankly, I don’t think it was even up to my undergraduate standards, but at least I didn’t put it off to the very last minute, unlike when I was an undergrad. Each of us was also supposed to do a five-minute presentation about our papers, but thanks to the slow ramblings of several of my classmates, we only had to do a one-minute summary. Hurray!

This means that three of my classes are now officially over (there was no final in my Plan Implementation class).

Next Tuesday: the final I’m told that everyone fails, for the class in which I am, yes, that’s right, 14 chapters behind.

Incident Reports

In case any of you were wondering, "Hey, what's-a-matter no incident reports lately?" I will tell you that I have been remarkably unclumsy lately. This is only because I have been spending most of my time seated, studying for exams. I should add that the cord for my Internet connection runs across my room in front of my door, and I trip on it almost on a daily basis. At least I've finally reached the point where I don't trip on it every single time I leave my room. Also, I was eating Pringles yesterday while Wally sat in my lap, and after a while I looked down to pet him and discovered that he had a nice little display of Pringles crumbs on him. Poor little guy.




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Exams

I was going to complain about the statistics exam I have to take this afternoon, but then I read AmStaff Mom's post, so...never mind.



Good luck (not that you'll need it!) and God bless you, AM!

Ah, Popcorn. I Love It, Yet It Hurts Me So.

I love popcorn, but oh, the salty lips problem! My lips are so very chapped right now. I spent the past five minutes chewing on my bottom lip. Of course, it I weren't so lazy, I'd just go get chapstick.

do u wake up tired?

This is the subject line of a spam message I got today...from myself. It's a bit disconcerting to see spam sent to me from me that I didn't want and certainly didn't send.

Incident Report, 11/1/06

1. Sat on JLR's bed to give her a hug good night, and I somehow shifted the boxsprings so that they almost fell off the rails [picture the alarmed look on her face]. While we were trying to fix it,...
2. Wally decided to help fix the box springs and got a claw stuck. As I was trying to free him, he yanked his claw away, and the unexpectedness of it caused me to (accidentally) swing my hand up, so that I...
3. Smacked JLR upside the head.

It was at this point when JLR said, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now."



Sigh.

Incident Report, 10.17.06

1. Found someone else's fingernail clipping on the mousepad I was using in the computer lab
2. In public bathroom, sat on damp toilet seat (curse that dim lighting!)
3. Stepped on cat vomit in apartment (barefoot)
4. Had first midterm exam today; have nervous stomach and am unable to eat the yummy ice cream in the freezer (which I guess isn't a bad thing, considering the weight I've put on in the past year). (Technically, this isn't an "incident," but I'm including it anyway. It's my blog.)

Billy, Call Your Grandmother

and give her your correct phone number, man.

Yo-Ho, It's Finally Here!!!

Don't forget to talk like a pirate today, mates!

Arrgh You Ready?

It's Almost Talk Like a Pirate Day again!

My pirate name is:

Captain Ethel Kidd

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.

Grumble grumble, and I mean it this time

I hate moving. I'm still unpacking, and I've already run out of space to put things. I haven't finished moving stuff from the old apartment. I spent all day yesterday doing laundry, and I still haven't finished because packing, etc., took up so much of my time before the move that I didn't have time to do laundry. My student loans haven't come in yet, and I am b.r.o.k.e. School starts soon, and it looks like I'll be spending the rest of my free time until then running errands, packing, unpacking, cleaning, and painting.

So much for vacation.

On the bright side, because I don't want my four readers to think I do nothing but complain, I will add that one of our new neighbors is moving and was able to make use of some of our leftover boxes.

Why Is It Foggy in Here?

How is the packing going? Well, suffice to say that JLR is sweating, and you know how she feels about that.

And despite my previous statement being sufficient to describe the situation, I'll go on to add that I've discovered that we have more than 20 boxes worth of stuff from the kitchen (which I am still not finished packing), including five baking dishes of various sizes (this despite the fact that I do not cook), and we are moving into a townhome with the tiniest kitchen I have ever had.

In other news, JLR and I are attempting to "windows wash" an old PC that we are giving away. It's been washing away for the past 9 hours, and it's only 19% done. We're moving in 36 hours. What are the odds that the wash will be done by then?

JLR just said something to me, and even though I heard sounds coming out of her mouth, I have no idea what she said.

Please note that I have not proof-read this post.

[update: JLR just came in saying, "Okay, what do you think of this plan...?"]

I Hate Packing

I hate it so much...


Amstaff Mom, you can finish the rest.

Grumble grumble, but not

First I would like to say thanks to Deals for her sweet post today. Deals, I was actually thinking of inviting myself over to watch Newsies.

JLR is taking the bar exam this week, and my parents just happen to be out of town on business during the same three days. I’m staying with JLR in her hotel room (across the street from the testing center, so that she can’t possibly get stuck in traffic and be late for the exam), but our kitties still need daily attention, so my schedule this is week is as follows. Get up in time to make sure that JLR gets up in time for her exam, leave the hotel at approximately 7:30/8:00 and drive the 23 miles to my apartment to feed our cats, empty their litter boxes, and give Wally (the needy cat) some petting time. (Also, I will be packing up our belongings for about an hour each day, as we plan to move next month, and we have almost nothing packed.) Then drive the 23 miles to my parents’ house to let their dog out and water their plants. Then drive the 9 miles to the hotel to check on JLR. My brother was supposed to take care of my parents’ dog in the afternoon, but now he has to work on Thursday, and tonight he is going to a baseball game and won’t get back to our parents’ house until late. So would I mind going back to our parents’ house in the evenings, sitting around for a while, and then driving back to the hotel (an extra 18 miles of driving each day)?

Aaarrrgh!

As I was driving around this morning, I was grumbling to myself about the burdens that were being heaped upon me, one right after the other. I might even have muttered a comment or two about how hard it is to have faith when things keep getting worse. Then, gently, the Lord reminded me about the much greater burdens resting on the backs of those He is asking me to serve. And I remember how faithful He has always been to me, rescuing me from illness, financial problems, and I-don’t-know-how-many painful situations, giving me hope at times when things seemed rather hopeless.

My parents have elderly parents who need care and siblings who won’t help with caring for them. They have jobs at companies that have made large pay cuts for their employees in efforts to stay afloat financially, which means my parents have found their financial situation somewhat worse than they had planned. They have to go out of town for work, and they have all these plants that they’ve worked hard to raise, and they really need someone to take care of them. And by golly, they love that dog, and so do I. They really, really want to make sure she’s well cared for, so shouldn’t they ask me—as a favor—to check on her? They don’t think she’d do well at a kennel, and let’s face it, it would be better if they didn’t spend the money on boarding her, so they have to ask for help.

My brother has had one emotional setback after another for the past, oh, I don’t know, twelve years, and he’s had many a financial problem, too. Now he had to work longer hours than expected on Thursday, so shouldn’t I help him with the dog to make sure that he doesn’t lose his job? And yes, he should have made other arrangements for the baseball game tonight, but he’s under so much stress, it’s not too much to ask that he get a night off.

As for JLR, well, taking the bar is so much more burdensome than taking care of someone who’s taking the bar. I can only imagine how exhausting it must be, especially knowing that if she doesn’t pass, she’ll have trouble finding a job, and if she can’t find a job, she won’t be able to pay off her mortgage-sized student loans.

When I thought about it, I realized that this is simply an opportunity to strengthen my faith, to exercise my faith muscles, if you’ll pardon the analogy (is that an analogy?). After all, if only good things ever happened to us, why would we ever need faith? How could we ever learn to trust Jesus?

So I thank you, Lord, for giving me this gift. And, um, would you mind doing something about the insect buzzing in the window near my head?

Let the Blames Begin!

Yesterday was my last day at work. I'll be going back to school full-time in the fall, and since I'd need to quit my job anyway (they haven't heard of the 40-hour work week...or at least not for peons), I thought I might as well quit before JLR takes the bar. That way I can be available to take care of her.

So now that I'm gone, the customary blaming-of-mistakes-on-the-person-who-isn't-there-to-deny-the-charges will commence.

Another co-worker left just a few weeks ago, and there was much blaming. When something wasn't working, he was accused (in absentia) of having sabotaged the system! I can't wait to hear what they're going to say about me.

A Few Words about The Runt

It has occurred to me that I often seem to be correcting something the Lazy Gnome has said or disagreeing with something she has said. For the record, then, I would like to say that my interactions with the Lazy Gnome have always been pleasant (although that might be because I've only seen her when she's sober), and I very much appreciate her efforts to include me in conversations when we're in a room together.

I thought about posting an incident report, but nothing that has happened to me lately compares with Lia's day yesterday, so I'll just point you (yes, all four of you, Readers) to her blog.







Yeesh.

Could be glue, could be snot

There is an unidentified substance on one of the keypads at work. I know one of the repairmen has been working with glue today, so it's possible that the substance is ick-free...but then again, it might not be glue.

Ich habe hunger.

J’ai faim.

Tengo hambre.

Or, as they say at babbelfish when one translates the phrase from English to Spanish to Russian to French and back to English, Me Starved.

Deals Has Skills

Deals made the coffee this morning. It is strong-o. I have the shakes, but it was gooooooood coffee.

Happy Independence Day!

You may have been, but apparently they weren't

(See post from June 9)

Why did we have to be in the Group of Death?

Are you ready?